Summer flings, also known as California flings, are great because they allow us the opportunity to meet someone new, have a little fun, and get laid in the process.
A summer fling is different from a friend with benefits (FWB). A FWB is ongoing and can happen year-round, whereas a summer fling is specifically timed with the summer season and usually ends around Labor Day with the mutual understanding of a Facebook friendship. Moreover, a FWB is a strictly sexual relationship. A summer fling is primarily sexual, but it can also include casual dates and other non-sexual activities.
Here are six helpful tips for engaging in the perfect, sunny summertime romance.
Set the ground rules
It’s important that you and your paramour be on the same page when it comes to your relationship, otherwise it could lead to trouble come Labor Day. Make it clear off the bat that you’re not looking for anything serious, and that if he is, he should go elsewhere.
Engage in appropriate activities
Going out on dates is one of the perks to having a summertime sweetie. That being said, avoid doing anything too romantic. This includes things like fine dining experiences, couples massages, or moonlit walks in the park. Don’t spend your savings on surprising your Mr. Right Now with a weekend getaway to Paris, fun as it may sound. Save that crap for your future fiancé, wherever he may be, and stick to more casual outings, like daytime hikes, seeing the new Chris Pratt movie, going to the beach, or getting last minute nosebleed tickets to Cher’s Dressed to Kill tour.
Always split the bill
Going halfsies on the check is a good way to keep the power dynamic in your relationship balanced and prevent one party from feeling dependent upon the other, which can lead to unwanted emotional attachments. It’s OK to treat one another to little splurges here and there — a sno-cone in the park, an Oprah chai from Starbucks, etc. — but when the tab reaches $20 or more, it’s best to make like a banana and split it.
Have tons of it. That’s the primary point of a summer fling. Just be sure to wrap it up when you do.
Maintain your distance
Talking on the phone every day, seeing each other every other night, and having sleepovers on the weekends defeats the whole purpose of partaking in a midsummer liaison. You might as well change your Facebook status to “in a relationship” and call it a day. A summer fling is supposed to be just that: a fling. It’s short-lived and sporadic. You don’t make plans. You don’t keep schedules. And you most certainly don’t post spontaneous selfies taken together to your Instagram page.
Keep an open mind
This is the part where we basically throw all the advice we’ve just given you out the window and say: If feelings creep up, and they are mutual between you and your partner, don’t be afraid to explore them. Plenty of longterm relationships have been born out of summer romances. Just be ready to construct a believable narrative for when people inevitably ask how the two of you met. “A friend introduced us” sounds so much better than “We bumped uglies last August.”