We gave you our reasons why being gay totally kicks ass, then you submitted your own. The responses ranged from funny and cynical to heartwarming and hopeful. So without any further ado…
Scroll down to see what your fellow Queerty readers said were the best parts about being gay…
onthemark
“The freedom to choose how I live my life and who I am with without any religious or socially imposed responsibility.”
That’s in real life. Online, the gay monogamy freaks will still inform you that they are “BETTER” than you!
TransParency_
Another shameful display of cissexist, shameful transphobia on this site. “Enjoying the hole and the pole” and other comments ignores and shames gay transmen for their bodies and it makes the assumption that gay men dislike vaginas and prefer penises instead, when that is NOT what being gay is about, being gay is an identity, no simply a sexual preference. STOP TRYING TO ERASE TRANSPEOPLE. Your “preference” doesn’t trump my identity.
onthemark
@TransParency_: Vaginas… eww. Penises… yay!
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: I don’t see how that statement says anything about monogamy.
Get a grip. I can’t believe you’re still going on about that.
And being monogamous with someone of the same sex isn’t following some religious or social responsibility lol.
Gruffling
@TransParency_: It’s not an assumption. Being a man that likes penises is kind of a quintessential part of being gay. The only part of me that’s gay is the part that likes penises, it’s all hormones. Other than that I am indistinguishable from our hetero and bi brothers. Shock horror!
But I think transgendered people should be freely able to transition and therefore fully become the sex they identify as. Now I think you should stop shaming transgendered people by making it look like they want to define what sexuality is. Also you’re trying to erase homosexuality.
The next time a gay man rejects you because you have a vagina, do us a favour and cry into a bottle instead.
Giancarlo85
@TransParency_: Being gay is a sexual orientation.
As far as transpeople, I fully respect them. I think they do need more recognition. I, as a gay person, am not attracted to the opposite sex. I also am not into transmen, as are many gay biological males.
I hope you don’t take offense to my comment. I am not meaning to be disrespectful. I fully respect trans people. I know gender identity is fluid. I know several people who are genderqueer and trans.
Giancarlo85
@Giancarlo85: Correction: I am not into transmen, like many biological gay males.
Sorry my grammar is not good today.
DarkZephyr
@onthemark: “That’s in real life. Online, the gay monogamy freaks will still inform you that they are “BETTER” than you!” Seriously? I think you got into it with a grand total of TWO people about that subject under ONE article.
DarkZephyr
@TransParency_: Queerty posts trans related articles regularly so how are they trying to erase trans people? And yes, some gay men DO REALLY love penis and the fact that you are trying to turn that into a shameful thing is DISGUSTING. Even in relationships where one guy is trans and the other is cis, penises come into play. In fact some gay trans men love penises too! One of my dearest friends is a trans man who identifies as a bottom and he loves being pounded by a big fat d*ck. Sorry, but he does! This in no way is an attack on his fellow Trans men nor does it “erase his identity”. Though YOU could be easily accused of CIS erasure for trying to make cis gay men feel ashamed of THEIR genitals and that is exactly what you are doing every time you attack those who admire the cis male anatomy. Knock it off!
DarkZephyr
I would like to point out, with all due respect and TransParency’s cis male homophobia not withstanding, some gay men ARE attracted to Trans men. I am attracted to Tran AND Cis men and I am 100% gay. Just wanted to put that out there for the record.
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: Ha. You didn’t HAVE to take the bait, but… When you say you are “BETTER” than everyone else because you are monogamous, that’s an attempt at “socially-imposed responsibility.”
@Giancarlo85: I think we can be disrespectful to TransParency who is obviously an Onion-style attempt at parody! He/she/them is making fun of the whole Angry Trans thing.
And I’m glad you like penises.
Giancarlo85
@onthemark: For one, I said it was better for ME. And I always maintained it was MY OPINION. It’s obvious your reading comprehension is seriously lacking.
I’m done talking with you though. Not everything is about sex for me.
Giancarlo85
@DarkZephyr: I’m kinda attracted to more feminine guys and certain trans women. But I guess I’m weird like that.
onthemark
@Giancarlo85: That’s NOT what you said. Although now you’ve said four times that you’re done talking to me!
Giancarlo85
*yawn* 🙂
demented
I don’t understand when people say that one sexual orientation is “great” compared to another or that they’re “glad” they are that sexual orientation. I mean, you are what you are, so why is that “great”? Shouldn’t ideally all sexual orientations be equally “great,” and therefore none of them be?
And if you feel that way, what if you moved along the Kinsey scale one way or another? Would you consider your sexuality less “great”?
onthemark
@demented: Ideally, I suppose yes. But since gayness is still marginalized somewhat, there’s the impulse to do the “great,” feel-good, pat-ourselves-on-the-back stuff.
It’s sort of like how a gay pride parade is really exciting when you’re 22. Thirty years later, maybe you’re going out of town that weekend specifically to avoid it.
Cam
@TransParency_: said…. “Another shameful display of cissexist, shameful transphobia on this site.”
______________________-
You’re a disgusting bigot. What was the question? The question was “Why is gay great?” did it say anything bad about Transgenders? If somebody asked a question “Why is being black great?” is that an attack on Latinos, or Women, or Asians, or Lesbians?
No, it isn’t, but what you have proven again and again, is that the trans community seems to have no interest in fighting the right wing and people who hate all of us, but rather, you want nothing more than to spend your time attacking gays, lesbians, and bisexuals.
To repeat a story, when the State of New York legalized Same Sex Marriage, what was the response from the Transgender community? They put out statements attacking LGB’s. Couldn’t even take one day to celebrate could you?
And do you attack people like Mitch McConnell or John Boehner? No, you’re attacking Queerty and RuPaul.
And LASTLY, you are such a bigot that you attack Queerty for this article, and yet on Transgender sites, the only time Lesbians, Bisexuals, or Gays are mentioned is when we are attacked. So you attack Queerty and yet your own sites not only do what you complained about, but also attack.
To put it more succinctly, you’re a bad person.
Arconcyyon
No not dont´s no is Guys unissex no guys take on on take is very great is perffil is curpus cm ! diversity is citty país naturally region´s is guys take on is admitt is opcion sex is like the sex ! Good is the luck sucess is the big big guys is dontt´s no future guys is mem sttar kumbya .
jwtraveler
I hope no one will look at me weird if I say that I’ve heard more than enough Beyonce to last me the rest of my life.
lykeitiz
I’m all about that d*ck, ’bout that d*ck….No pus*y
I’m all about that d*ck, ’bout that d*ck….No pus*y
Yes folks, that to me, is what’s greatest about being gay.
Oh, and @jwtraveler: , I agree with yours too. If having a “meh” reaction towards Beyoncé is cause for gay card revocation, then I guess I’d better get my wallet.
And @Arconcyyon: Are you Sarah Palin’s speech writer?
TransParency_
@Giancarlo85: You said: “I’m kinda attracted to more feminine guys and certain trans women.” . How can you make such a statement and then go on to say you are “100% gay”. That is horrendously transphobic and cis-centric. What you are saying is that you see transwomen really as feminine gay men(pretty much the worst insult you can tell a transowoman) and that anyone with a vagina is not deserving of your sexual attention, which, again IS A TRANSPHOBIC ACT as it excludes us and erases us. Cis Homos don’t just get to reject vaginas as sexually unappealing, that is not for them to decide at the expense of our identities. Cis homos like you are not any better than the violent straight men who raped and killed Brandon Teena and Gwen Araujo, except at least those people own to their bigotry and don’t hide behind a fake, condescending acceptance as you do.
Giancarlo85
@TransParency_: You’re so full of yourself. You don’t even know what you’re saying. You’re a parody. I don’t even believe you’re real. I am not violent. You make me sick.
I’m genderqueer myself. There I said it. Now go fck yourself.
Gruffling
@TransParency_: So your identification and entire sense of self-worth is dictated by what other people think of you? That’s very sad, you should probably see someone about your problems. Try chatting up a straight guy or a lesbian or anyone bi, they’re much more likely to want your genitals.
Giancarlo85
And I did not call transwomen… feminine guys. I was talking about TWO different groups of people. Learn how to read for goodness sakes. You’re an awful troll.
onthemark
@TransParency_: “Cis Homos don’t just get to reject vaginas as sexually unappealing, that is not for them to decide at the expense of our identities.”
So if we think vaginas are yucky, your identity gets damaged?
Funny how cis hetero women never complain about that.
DarkZephyr
@TransParency_: *I* am the one who said that I am 100% gay and I said that I was attracted to Cis and Trans MEN.
“Cis Homos don’t just get to reject vaginas as sexually unappealing, that is not for them to decide at the expense of our identities.”
Uh yes, it IS up to any individuals to decide what they find sexually unappealing. Your words here as well as your refusal to stop using the term “homo” proves to me that you are a homoohobe and also that YOU are the one who is a transphobe because you are clearly a troll making fun of Trans men and Trans women by making yourself a parody as onthemark has stated.
Tedio
@TransParency_ You are really transparent. It is obvious that you are nothing but an agitator bent on stirring up negative reactions via your intentionally obnoxious statements.
I am quite sure that you haunt other websites and do the same thing. You pretend to be the Teanut making liberals mad on their liberal website. Then, you go to the Wingnut websites and infuriate them by pretending to be an extreme liberal.
I know people like you, and you are not worth any attention whatsoever.
Go to your room and study your 8th grade math. You have a big test on Monday.
End of you…..
darian
@TransParency_: I gotta be honest with you I’m not really knowledgeable of the trials and strife of trans people. But I honestly don’t understand your criticism of this article.
jwtraveler
@TransParency_: There have been enough angry responses to you, so all I’m going to say is “WOW!”
Tedio
@lykeitiz: Love it. Absolutely.
Tedio
@TransParency_: You are really transparent. It is obvious that you are nothing but an agitator bent on stirring up negative reactions via your intentionally obnoxious statements.
I am quite sure that you haunt other websites and do the same thing. You pretend to be the Teanut making liberals mad on their liberal website. Then, you go to the Wingnut websites and infuriate them by pretending to be an extreme liberal.
I know people like you, and you are not worth any attention whatsoever.
Go to your room and study your 8th grade math. You have a big test on Monday.
End of you…..
Tedio
@TransParency_: Please go away. You aren’t helping anyone, much less your “cause”.
Have a wonderful life……….
AtticusBennett
@TransParency_: I’m a gay and queer man who has dated FTM guys and frankly I’m calling your bluff – i don’t even think you’re really a transman, but one more anti-trans trolling coward trying to make a fight where there isn’t one.
RyanD
@AtticusBennett: Hmm. Gay and queer? I thought queer was an umbrella term for LBGT+, but here you’re using it to describe yourself alongside gay. Can I ask you what you mean by that? I swear I mean nothing by it, just an inquiring thought.
vive
@lykeitiz,
Arconcyyon is a bot, I would assume.
TransParency_
@AtticusBennett: So basically because you dated transmen in the past, that gives you the right to dismiss my criticism of Cis-Homos and their blatant hypocrisy and transphobia. Talk about privilege.
Giancarlo85
@TransParency_: Your criticism is nonsensical though. You took something I said and totally misread it. I was talking about TWO different types of people. You said I claimed transwomen are feminine guys. Completely wrong.
I don’t even know why I am bothering trying to talk sense to you.
DarkZephyr
@TransParency_: Too late. Everyone knows you for the troll that you are. You have no power here.
Cam
@Giancarlo85: said… “I don’t even know why I am bothering trying to talk sense to you.
____________________________________
Please let us know when you start talking sense so we can see what it looks like.
Cam
@Cam:
Sorry Giancarlo, meant that for Transparency.
onthemark
awww… isn’t this sweet… TransParency has brought us all together! (snif)
If only BJ could be here to share the joy! He must still be trying to decide on his new reading glasses.
Elloreigh
@TransParency_: Here’s a hint: It’s not always about you.
Gay is indeed an identity – one that is informed by our sexual preferences in addition to our basic same-sex orientation. In other words, identity is very individualized. Apart from that, I agree that it’s not solely a sexual identity.
There is nothing shameful about some gay men having anatomical preferences that might not include you. I’m sure that some have preferences that would exclude me as well. No one has any obligation to be attracted to anyone else.
I take issue with your declaration that other people’s preferences are somehow shaming to trans men and their bodies. It’s nothing of the sort. It’s simply a matter of personal preferences. People are allowed to have whatever preferences they have, and how dare you try to shame them for it!
You stated, “Your “preference” doesn’t trump my identity.” More like your identity doesn’t trump anyone else’ preference.
You also yelled, “STOP TRYING TO ERASE TRANSPEOPLE.” No one is trying to do that. People aren’t obligated to abandon their own preferences and opinions about their own experiences of being gay just so you can feel valued.
If you’re a gay transman, use your own voice to express your own experience of your own gayness. No one here is obligated to do that for you, nor do they have to hide or pretend that their experiences are something other than what they are.
Like I said in my opening – it’s not always about you. I fully support trans equality. What I do NOT support is any trans person thinking they have some special right to dictate what is acceptable for anyone else to think, believe, or say in expressing something about their own life. You have done your community absolutely no favors with your rant as I see it.
Bottom line – don’t expect everyone else to stop being who they are just because you personally think they should feel ashamed for it. We’ve had enough of that from anti-gay elements within the majority straight population – we sure as hell don’t need more of it from you.
Elloreigh
@TransParency_: “Cis Homos don’t just get to reject vaginas as sexually unappealing, that is not for them to decide at the expense of our identities.”
You’re completely wrong. It very much is the place of any person, cis or trans, to decide for themselves what they find sexually appealing or unappealing. Not you. You’re the one trying to erase others’ identities, apparently.
Giancarlo85
@Elloreigh: You’re quite right. But don’t expect a reasonable response from that troll. Transparency thinks they can dictate what others find appealing or attractive.
By the way, if you notice my grammar I too am respective (I don’t use him or her as I don’t know the person’s identity). I know full well about trans people, and two of my bestfriends are trans (both are genderqueer/gender neutral meaning they don’t identify as either gender).
Elloreigh
@Giancarlo85: Indeed, this person seems to be more troll than trans.
We recently learned that a family member is identifying differently from the sex assigned at birth. So real trans issues hit close to home. Even being supportive, it’s hard to break old habits, making sure to use the person’s new chosen name and to reference the gender by which they identify. Occasional failures aren’t an attempt to erase that person’s identity. They’re simply part of a period of adjusting to a change that is new to us. If there’s a comparable situation, perhaps it’s when someone has a name change as a result of marriage. You still associate the old name with the person, and a slip-up isn’t an attempt to erase their marriage. Just a case of having to learn new identifiers. I get why it’s important to the affected person, but I just need some time to retrain my mind.
While it’s far from being the same thing, I’ve spent most of my life being called by the wrong name (usually my brother’s name). Someone who had recently met me, later on called me by my brother’s name, even though they they had no knowledge of his existence. That was a weird moment. Evidently my face just doesn’t go with my name.
I’ve also repeatedly had the experience, mainly on the phone, of people calling me “ma’am” by accident, even though I’m a definite baritone. Never have figured out why – must be something about the way I express myself – they must be subconsciously picking up on some cue they associate with female gender, though I don’t know what it is. I don’t think it’s anything related to my voice.
nickvanallen
THE BEST PART FOR ME IS I DON’T NEVER GOT TO WORRY ABOUT WINDING UP ON MAURY CAUSE SOME GIRL THINKS I’M HER BABY DADDY! GREATEST BIRTH CONTROL EVER!!!!! LMAO