As fans of Girls know, Hannah, Marnie, Shoshanna, and Jessa are big on mouthiness but low on maturity. So each week, blogger Chris J. Kelly is grading the four main characters’ emotional ages based on their words and actions.
Chris took a semester of psychology so he’s, like, totally qualified.
Since the show aired at the same time as the Oscars, and since there are only two girls to explore, this special-edition recap will also compare each character to an element of the Academy Awards telecast.
Emotional Age: 5
Me, me, me, me, me. This girl can’t stop talking about herself for ten seconds. Jessa’s relationship with her father is crumbling and she needs support. Frank is going through sexual confusion that Hannah only exacerbates. She’s even overtly nominated as the buffer by Petula, and she still can’t extend herself to thank the woman for the dinner she cooked. (Seriously, if you’re not a fan of eating animals, you might want to consider becoming a vegetarian. Whining has never brought a cute bunny back to life.)
Hannah’s favorite topic is obviously herself—but her favorite thing about herself to discuss is apparently her own urine. Let’s buy her a new jumper before she starts kindergarten.
OSCAR BONUS ROUND: Hannah is Ted as a presenter, Seth McFarlane’s self-indulgent joke that everyone wished would stop before it had even started.
Emotional Age: 40
In a stunning turn, Jessa becomes a fully functional adult when placed in familiar surroundings. Her whole mentality snaps into sharp focus once we grasp her origin story and witness a bit of her home life. Interacting with her father is something she knows how to do; it might be the only thing she knows how to do. Resuming the role of the parenting her parent, she engages in a comparatively normal and healthy facsimile of human interaction.
Her mothering duties also extend to Hannah, who has to be told not to say rude things at the dinner table or have inappropriate graveyard sex with teenagers.
I’d dock her points for blinding Skylar while he drove or disappearing on Hannah without warning, but being 40 doesn’t automatically make you a very good parent (ex:. Jessa’s dad).
OSCAR BONUS ROUND: Jessa is Jennifer Lawrence falling on the stairs. This is simultaneously her best and worst moment, and how she handles it will be a huge part of defining how we view her in the future.
ODDS AND ENDS