United States of Tara: Television’s Most Unremarkable Coming Out Ever
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Yeah, Glee‘s Kurt is going to get a hot jock boyfriend and become the school’s gay power couple, but it’s on Showtime’s United States of Tara that we’re seeing the real renaissance of television’s gay kids. (Stop here if you don’t want to be spoiled.)
On last night’s episode Marshall, the quondam questioning but now sexuality certain offspring of Tara and Max, played by Keir Gilchrist, tells his father he’s gay. It was the most nonchalant, “yeah whatever” coming out we’ve seen on TV, which makes sense, because the Gregsons have always been depicted as a pretty open-minded bunch, and Marsh’s sexuality was always known (and sometimes talked about). Max’s reaction to the news? “Good.” Good. Good!
The big reveal came after Marshall tried out heterosexual sex with a lady classmate — where, if our red wine-infused memory serves correctly, neither tween managed to get off. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to know it’s not right for ya.
Coming out: Still pretty special, but not necessarily remarkable.
The father’s reaction is similar to my mother’s reaction. She was discussing buying a used car, and, I interrupted her to blurt out “I am gay.” She went back to discussing buying a car. When I asked whether she heard what I said, she said “yes, I know you are gay. It is not an issue for me.” That was about as much drama as I ever had with her on the issue of my sexual orientation. We had a really difficult relationship, but never on the issue of my sexual orientation. I guess this is something for which I should be thankful.
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Man, I wish that I had John Corbett as MY father! :o) Hell, he would, like, make the PERFECT boyfriend!!! Anyhoo…on the ep. prior to last night (which i missed) he seemed happy, and in some way normatively “relieved” that Marshall “is dating a girl”! That hurt a bit, considering last season… And, what about last seasons plot-line where that hawt kid played him and broke his heart (something I know well, considering that my guy intended to hurt me…and he was my FIRST KISS!). Just wish the cute blond twink wouldn’t seem to pretentious and like a caricature, though…
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I wonder what Ward and June Cleaver’s reaction would have been if Wally had announced he was gay on ‘Leave it to Beaver’?(no pun intended)
I’m guessing they would have either A) immediately arranged for him to see a psychiatrist or B) enrolled him in a military school in Alaska.
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Sorry–i dont buy it. Obviously the show deals with fantasy, but the “Good” reaction was totally unbelievable. Not that the father couldnt be okay with Marshall being gay but nobody is that non-chalant. Even if they already know, even if theyre okay with it, even if theyre gay themselves. There’s “knowing” and there’s hearing it as a fact.
This isn’t a “good” comiing out scene–its an utterly unbelievable one.
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@Kieran: “Oh Wally , it isn’t Eddie Haskell is it?”
“No Mom. Everybody at school knows Eddie wants me but he can’t have me.”
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@sam: Same here. Agonized how I should tell her, and, even after she said she was okay with it, I tried to have a “serious” discussion where we went through what being gay meant. Finally, she told me in her own way to chill. The funny thing is that before my mother passed away she actually kept trying to get more into my life regarding my sexuality. She would watching “In the Life” and other programming to see more about other people in the gay community. I would be the one who wanted to turn away, and she would say “No, leave it here.” Like I said, I guess I was lucky at least on the sexual orientation front with having my mother.
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My coming out:
Me, a little drunk home from college, my parents reading in their bed. I open the door, standing in the doorway.
My dad: Hi.
My mom: What is it? You’re drunk.
Me: I’m gay.
They look at each other, look back at the books their reading.
Mom: We’ll talk about it in the morning.
Dad: ‘night Chris. Love ya.
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It is funny how because of pop culture (which is why may be everyone assumes everyone’s coming out had to have been this big traumatic after school special experience) we have come to mythologize the coming out experience. Just like we have done with “gay is …” Where gay men traffic in the ritualized dogmas about what a gay man is or is not supposed to be. The truth is that the experience of coming out varies as much as human experience does. So does being a gay man. The only thing we may actually share is we love the same gender. Not our life experiences.
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I think the dad should have discussed it more with the son. It’s good he reacted positively, but he must have known his son would want to discuss it at least a little bit. Coming out will probably never be a total non-issue. It is my hope that one day parents will HOPE to have a gay kid; but even then it would not be a non-issue. It IS an issue.
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@CondeNasty: When a friend recounted coming out, he says that a few days after he told his parents, they brought a drag queen home as a show of solidarity. He had to explain to them that coming out did not mean that they needed to introduce him to a drag queen. So, yeah, sometimes, coming out can provide a source of comedy.
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@hephaestion: I don’t get it. What would you have liked him to say? If he were seeing someone maybe, but if not, then what was there to discuss?
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Marshall’s relationship with his sister is sweetly antagonistic, but his mom and dad have never had direct discussion with him about their perception of the son they love intensely. I think it took Max a second to realize that his son just discovered himself. Everyone else in the family knew long ago.
Keir Gilchrist is a fantastic actor with a great character, and he’s adorable. I wish he would find himself a smart, sweet, sexy boyfriend who would give it to him well and often. It would be interesting to see how that loosens up his prim character.
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I never really felt the need to come out to my parents. Hell, even when I was “bi” and dated girls I didn’t feel the need to tell them about that either. My mom is always out of town and my dad is busy with my brothers who are very involved in sports and stuff. It’s not that I am afraid to, it would just give me no benefit, no peace of mind, if anything, it’d just stress me out more because then they’d be suspicious of my male “friends” who are really boyfriends. Hell, they probably wouldn’t even care that much (we never go to church and me & my mom are huge Glee & Ellen fans) but I just see literally no reason.
Whatever, maybe I’ll bring it up one day if I am getting married.
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My big old crazy but fun extended family pretty much responded the same wayz. Either:
** “Please tell us that youre not the one who got Lisa H%ยง*-+s pregnant then!”
** “oh good, maybe you can get a college scholarship out of this. They have special programs you know” [they were right]
** “You know they give away free condoms at the gay bars right? Lube too!”
OK there were a few awkward moments 2, but other than a few religious aunts/ uncles, no body threw a fit.
I have to say that Oprah & Ellen even Tyra helped educate my family a long the way.
Even Will & Grace helped….
@Independently Minded: very good comment: thumbs up.
I need to start watching this Tara show more often !
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What’s funny and sad is that, despite the fact that Marshall’s mother has a mental disorder that causes her to regularly screw up his life in very public and humiliating ways, there will be thousands of closeted teens who see this and WISH for this couple to be their parents instead of the homophobic bible thumpers they are actually the spawn of.
Who’s the real crazy people here?