London real estate is not for the faint of heart.
Gay sex dungeons are also dangerous territory for the faint of heart, but for much less figurative reasons.
But we’re loving this combination of the two: A tasteful London townhouse has just hit the market for £3 million ($4.27 million), and it has all the offerings you’d expect with a vertigo-inducing price tag.
The seller boasts of charming brickwork and classic architectural features.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
“This charming and expansive five bedroom Georgian house,” the listing reads, “is arranged over four commanding floors and features wonderful period features paired with modern luxuries and boasts a verdant private garden.”
And judging by these photos, the property delivers on the strong adjectives:
But the real estate company fails to mention one especially “commanding” feature that’s included in the purchase: a fully-operational sex dungeon.
As Secret London uncovered, the seller is ‘Unkut Kurt,’ owner of gay London kink club The Hoist, and he’s turned the basement of the lovely home into quite the conversation piece:
Just think of the housewarming party!
Kieran
The John Wayne Gacy memorial basement. How quaint.
dwes09
From where in a clearly warped imagination does the connection to Gacy come?
the_ashpan
….that can’t be right. 5 bed Georgian townhouse in London for only £3 million?!!! More like £7.5 million at the least……maybe 9 WITH the dungeon ha ha ha
Tobi
It’s in Vauxhall, just around the corner from the new American embassy, which has caused property prices in the area to plummet.
bill195463
So you’re making a joke about the price of the townhouse and how it should be priced more with the dungeons? That’s pretty sick. What about the kids who were molested down there for all those years. I hope this couple gets life and are found in a restroom like Jeffrey Dahmer was.Plus like Dahmer’s apt building, the townhouse torn down, NOT SOLD! And a memorial made of the space.
dwes09
Mixing up your sick imagination with reality again?
What kids? What molestation, that was you in those dreams you try not to talk about.
Nuttypea
How do they know that the dungeon identifies as gay?
PinkoOfTheGange
I think it has to do with the owner being gay.
Neal65
Bill, reread the article. I think you’re commenting on the wrong one. I didn’t see any reference to pedophilia here. Just willing adults!
Kangol
It’s so bizarre. This is like the third article where conservative posters have stated things that aren’t in the article, or misread a video. Weird. Unkut Kurt owns the Hoist, which reopened last year, and is not known to have molested children, let alone anyone. So why would one person reference Gacy and another claim pedophilia? Really bizarre, but it seems like the homophobes keep flocking to a gay site, for some reason.
dwes09
The alt-right, which has a few gay posters here (you know who they are), tends to give more credence to their imagination and fears than to reality. They obviously associate basement playrooms with serial killers, and for weak minded folks like this, associations are as real as actual reality.
Personally, I don’t understand what makes the dungeon “gay”. For the most part the fixtures and tools can be used by anyone on anyone, can’t they?
dwes09
I get it now! The picture of the house/link to the article was underneath the picture of that sick pastor and his wife. Regressives are notoriously poor at parsing modern media and at critical evaluation of what they read and see.
So the mere proximity of the two images and articles was enough for them to assume they were related. Assumptions are immediately taken as reality by these folks and impossible to modify with fact later on. That is how Glen Beck, Alex Jones, and actual politicians so easily manipulate these people by saying “could be”, “i, don’t know, but perhaps”, “what if” and so on.
PinkoOfTheGange
So do the floors tell you what to do? Do they demand your attentions for some reason?
How can a floor be “commanding”?
Heywood Jablowme
The floors command: “Step on me!”
Jack Meoff
I think you need to educate yourselves on the multiple definitions of the word commanding
Heywood Jablowme
I don’t know anything about dungeons, but that bedroom with all the mirrors has terrible *feng shui*!
dwes09
Thankfully Feng Shui has about as much connection to reality as flat earth “theory”. But you are correct in that those mirrors are rather tacky given the rest of the room and house! The flow of my chi would be seriously impaired trying to keep them free of fingerprints (and jizz droplets)!!
Brawny71
I’d buy it if I had a spare €3 mil.
NateOcean
As part of the real estate purchase contract, I’d stipulate that the garden be searched for bodies.
dwes09
Based on what specifically? A lack of understanding of the s/m leather community? Buying into right wing understanding of sexual minorities? A fevered imagination? The house is being sold by the owner of a popular London Leather Bar, what in the world makes you think there would be anything but the remains of deceased pets (if that) in the garden?
Do you right wingers have ANY ability to think rationally!?
alanballs
A seriously beautiful property, even if it is near the new American Embassy. I imagine it will sell fast.
ShowMeGuy
So basically, in that part of London you can pay 1 million per floor for an ugly house.
Herman75
I swear KwearTee is become some deranged fvcked up sh!thole. This is truly pandering to the Mike Pence’s of the world.