British actor Paul Bettany has revealed that after his parents divorced, his father was in a relationship with a man for 20 years. However, after his partner died, Thane Bettany, a Catholic, went back into the closet.
His son believes it was because his father felt unable to grieve for the man he loved and feared not being able to get into Heaven after he died.
Paul Bettany, 49, was speaking to Total Film magazine to promote the new Amazon Prime movie, Uncle Frank, which premiered on the streaming service last week.
Related: WATCH: Paul Bettany plays gay in bittersweet trailer for Uncle Frank
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In the movie, written and directed by Alan Ball (creator of Six Feet Under and True Blood), Bettany plays the part of a gay, literary professor in New York City in 1973. Originally from the south, his character, Frank Bledsoe, returns for the funeral of a family member. For Frank, returning to South Carolina stirs up painful memories of his homophobic upbringing, and questions over what to reveal about his life in New York.
Bettany’s father, Thane, an actor and dancer, was married to fellow actress, Anne, from 1968 to 1993. After their divorce, Thane found love again with a male partner.
“I had a gay father who died a couple of years ago,” said Paul. “He came out of the closet at 63. He then had a 20-year relationship with a man called Andy.
“It was a joyous relief for everybody, actually. And once his partner died, [in 2015] he was in his 80s at that point, my dad decided to go back inside the closet and say that it had all been a big misunderstanding because he was a Catholic and concerned about getting past Peter through the pearly gates.”
“The shame he felt for his sexual identity was devastating. He was unable to mourn the person who I think was the love of his life,” says Bettany.
Related: Alan Ball & Paul Bettany on exorcising demons of the past in ‘Uncle Frank’
Bettany says that his father’s experiences nearly led him to turn down the role in Uncle Frank. He recognized the role was “beautifully done”, but “didn’t really want to go there” and was “scared of it.”
Bettany is best known for roles in a range of movies, including A Beautiful Mind; Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World; The Da Vinci Code; Solo: A Star Wars Story; and several Marvel Universe films, including Iron Man and Avengers: Infinity War. He stars in the upcoming Disney+ show, WandaVision. He has been married to the actress Jennifer Connelly since 2003 and they have two children.
Uncle Frank has been met with largely positive reviews, scoring a 78% score with critics on Rotten Tomatoes and an 87% audience approval rating.
RickHeathen
Damn religion strikes again.
Man About Town
Not surprisingly, it didn’t even occur to Thane Bettany that he might have trouble “getting past Peter through the pearly gates” as a result of his divorce.
trsxyz
Excellent point!
Jim
Religion is the opiate of the people
queerty02
Also the opiate of the people: actual opiates. Mb you can’t reduce humanity’s problems to the lense of your particular white gay adversity.
Cam
The movie trailer makes it look like kind of a happy slice of life film. It is definitely deeper and a little darker than that.
trsxyz
So sad that his father denied his true feelings (more than once).
Donston
It seems as if Paul never really had a conversation with his father and just accepted his dad’s bf as his “roommate” or “best friend”. Perhaps if some people in his father’s family had been brave enough to tak to him earlier on about his love life, his sense of self, his journey, and his struggles then that wouldn’t have happened. However, I get that it can be difficult to talk to people, particularly parents, about that stuff. And I get how much trauma, ego, religion, fear of death guides many.
ScottOnEarth
Interesting that you got all of that nonsense by just making baseless assumptions. How do you know the level to which Paul and his family engaged with his father about his partnership? You don’t, so don’t opine about such crap without any knowledge.
Donston
Eh, there was hardly any need for that extra ass response.
My post is based on Paul’s words and phrasing. He talked about there being a “misunderstanding”. He used “I think” and “I believe” a lot. He probably never got direct confirmation from his dad, at least not while his father’s partner was still alive. If he did get direct confirmation he probably would have said that in the interview, considering that he’s now publicly outing his father and talking about the love of his father’s life. It doesn’t make any sense to leave that out. One can conclude that his father never really confirmed his partnership and that Paul never really had a direct, in-depth conversation with his father about his orientation, his dimensions, his partnership, his struggles and his journey. While that type of shit happens with families all the time. People frequently just do what they do, but there’s a resistance to pry too much in order to avoid conflict or potential awkwardness
Once again, unnecessarily bitchy response.
David Hudson
Hmmm… that wasn’t my reading of it. Paul Bettany said in the interview “It was a joyous relief for everybody, actually,” when his father took up with another man, which suggests he was aware of the nature of their relationship. Separately, there’s an Evening Standard story from 2009 that mentions Paul Bettany’s father being in a gay relationship with another man after his divorce from Paul’s mother, so it seems it was out in the open and even mentioned in the press. What I don’t think has been revealed by Bettany before is how his father went back into the closet after his partner’s death, which is truly tragic.
Donston
I have no doubt that his father was in a same-sex relationship and even didn’t mind his kids knowing. I was not at all surmising that that wasn’t the case. But based on both interviews, it appears that Paul never had a legit and direct conversation with his father about it. And his father never really presented it as “this is my boyfriend” or “this is my partner”. Everyone just knew that his father had a boyfriend, and that was that. In both interviews, especially the recent one, he never mentions having a direct, in-depth conversation with his dad about it. Once again, if he had those types of conversations with his father then he probably would have said so considering he’s now publicly talking about his father’s orientation and love life.
However, there’s still a chance that even if they had those types of direct, in-depth conversations throughout the years, his father still would have jumped back in the closet. I recall a neighbor of mine becoming “saved” and rejecting his previous “lifestyle” once he got cancer. And we was someone who was unabashedly “gay” and extremely open with everyone. So, that type of stuff isn’t that unusual.
Essie
That’s a real shame that he couldn’t/wouldn’t mourn his lover. At least he had 20 years of true love. When you consider how difficult it was for people of his generation to be open about who they loved, that’s a lot to be thankful for. Too bad religion reared its ugly head.
Joshooeerr
Excellent film – beautifully written, directed and acted. And I point this out because it’s several cuts above most o the dreck Queerty chooses to promote.
missvamp
i feel for his dad. it must have been really hard. my grandma was bi/kinky. she never acknowledged it, but we all knew. she happily told stories of living with other women- lesbians & said it was one of the happiest times of her life. she was married 5 times- all fairly unhappy & most abusive/neglectful. she even had 3 bf’s after the man i knew as my grandpa died. one was a cd & she said he made her the happiest. some people just can’t own up to who they are deep down. some just don’t need to talk about it.
Doug
Really sad that his father couldn’t move on with his life and mourn the death of his partner. I saw “Uncle Frank” at one of the virtual gay film festivals on the internet this year and really enjoyed it.