Repugnant. Hateful. Hatchet-faced.
That’s but a sample of the insults hurdled at sentient broomstick Ann Coulter during the course of Rob Lowe’s Comedy Central Roast — and those are just culled from Jimmy Carr’s routine. It gets way more vicious than that.
Related: Dan Savage Destroys Ann Coulter On Bathroom Controversy
You may be wondering: What was the right-wing pundit and professional cringe merchant even doing there?
How about we take this to the next level?
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“I think the best daises are the daises that have people where you’re like what the (expletive)? You need every flavor to make these things go right and cut them all together for a show,” Lowe tells USA Today.
Ann Coulter’s reasoning? “I’m only here for all the love and respect I have for Rob Lowe and all of the talented performers tonight,” she said facetiously. “It has nothing to do with the book I published four days ago.”
Related: Rob Lowe Is OK With His Dadbod And Thinks It’s Time To Start Objectifying Men
Perhaps it was a brilliant strategical move on Lowe’s part, since Coulter’s presence effectively shifted the focus away from him, the expected jabs at his sex tape, nanny drama, and topsy-turvy career notwithstanding.
The phenomenon eventually inspired Coulter to say, “I’d like to welcome everyone to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob Lowe.”
Here are some of the most eviscerating highlights from The Roast of Rob Lowe, which airs on Labor Day on Comedy Central:
Comedian Jeff Ross, dressed as Prince:
Ann Coulter wants to help Trump make America great again. You can start by wearing a burka. You have a face that would make doves cry. That voice, it’s like fingernails on a chalkboard in an inner-city school you wanna defund. Ann’s against gay marriage. What’s your thinking on that? If I can’t get a husband they shouldn’t, either?”
Saturday Night Live’s Pete Davidson:
If you are here, Ann, who is scaring the crows away from our crops?”
Former NFL quarterback Peyton Manning:
I just realized that I’m not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know, earlier this year Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby.”
Comedian Nikki Glaser:
Ann Coulter has written 11 books, 12 if you count Mein Kampf. Ann, you’re awful. The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave.”
Comedian and Roast Master David Spade:
She seems stiff and conservative, but Ann gets wild in the sheets. Just ask the Klan. It looks like she’s having a good time. I haven’t seen her laugh this hard since Trayvon Martin got shot.”
Folk singer Jewel:
As a feminist I can’t support everything that’s been said tonight, but as someone who hates Ann Coulter, I’m delighted.”
Sluggo2007
All comments were well deserved and some of them, quite funny, not to mention true.
Alistair Wiseman
And the gay angle on this story would be…..
“FREE OF AN AGENDA. EXCEPT THAT GAY ONE.”
Well unless, of course, you are demonizing conservatives – especially in an election year.
Miss Understood
Conservatives ARE demons.
paul dorian lord fredine
@Alistair Wiseman: ann makes her living demonizing practically everyone who isn’t white and christian so i can’t help but feel she’s getting everything she deserves. i’m fairly sure she knew what she was stepping into and only did it to publicize another book.
dinard38
OUCH!!!!! Those were some nasty comments. LOL!!!!
But well deserved. Ann’s a hateful ass woman.
spanprof
You know, she is profiting from the outrage. We should Attempt to turn the financial screws on her!
Tripster56
If the shoe fits wear it and Ann it fits so good you wear it well.
ChrisK
@Alistair Wiseman: Yes repeating what they said is so “demonizing”. Lol
dwes09
@Alistair Wiseman: Perhaps you had not noticed that Coulter has been a very vocal critic of marriage equality? Perhaps you agree with her, who knows. It would not be hard to believe you did.
Her stand on gay enfranchisement, her anti-feminism, her oft repeated anti-semitism…all those things make articles about her (especially where she is humiliated or disgraced) relevant to a gay agenda.
I am thrilled that Trump waffled on immigration just as her book about him was published. Makes her foolishness even more obvious, as well as diminishing the value of her already tanking brand.
Brian
I love how Ann exposed the bigotry of the Left, including its misogyny and sexism.
dwes09
@Brian: “Brian
I love how Ann exposed the bigotry of the Left, including its misogyny and sexism.”
Please explain, using her words how she has ever actually done that.
Perhaps is is when she implies that the problems of this country stem from us all not being Christian? Perhaps it is when she said “all pretty girls are right-wingers.”, buying into the anti-feminist notion that a woman’s worth is based more on her looks than a man’s is. THAT my brain-addled friend is her expressing her own misogyny.
Than she says ““I’ll take 69 cents on the dollar,” referring to the wage gap “or whatever current feminist myth is about how much we make just to have to never have to pay for dinner. That seems like a fair deal to me.” THAt is another clear example of internalized misogyny (as well as an expression of the contempt she has for women with less income than she has).
Here is another of her quotes, exposing her own sexism and that of her cronies, not what you imagine as the sexism of the left: “It would be a much better country if women did not vote. That is simply a fact.”
“If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president.” (gosh! that certainly shows what a feminist Coulter is, as well as how intellectual).
“Taxes are like abortion, and not just because both are grotesque procedures supported by Democrats.” Because we all know that opposing reproductive choice shows one to be against sexism, and a supporter of woman’s rights.
Do you EVER actually relate to reality, or is your imagination all you know?
Curtispsf
@Brian: Brian, you are a drug addled demon.
highestbidder
I don’t think ladies should every be addressed in a disrespectful manner but when it’s Ann Coulter well – she’s said so many things in the past that have just enraged me and those WERE some pretty funny quotes… Not funny enough for me to watch a celebrity roast boreathon but funny.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@Brian: Brain honey, the last man within this galactic neighborhood that should be talking about misogyny and sexism is you, after all you belong to a ‘school of thought” that believes woman to be the cause of all homophobia.
So grabbing your pearl necklace and screaming “misogyny” tells me you’re off your meds again.
Brian
Liberals support the abortion of fetuses that are born this way.
dean089
It couldn’t have happened to a more evil bitch.
dwes09
@Brian:”Liberals support the abortion of fetuses that are born this way.”
No, in fact they don’t. Why do you lie? Sometimes i think you are simply mislead. But here you are just telling a lie that everyone sees as such.
dean089
@Brian: Hah! Just wait until the scientists finally do isolate the “gay gene.” The Religious Right will have abortion clinics on every corner.
dwes09
@dean089: ” Hah! Just wait until the scientists finally do isolate the “gay gene.” The Religious Right will have abortion clinics on every corner.”
Nah, they’ll just get their husbands to push them down the stairs or kick them in the belly. That way they leave the ultimate decision up to Jesus. That is how their logic works. Plus, if God decides the child should be born, they can simply send him/her to “repairitive therapy” to pray the gay away.
Hussain-TheCanadian
@Brian: What are you talking about? As a Liberal, I find abortion quite horrendous. However I don’t turn my feelings and beliefs into laws and use such laws as a bat to be broken on the heads of others.
Now take your pills before you post again.
Brian
Feminists and their male enablers will be insisting that a woman’s right to abort is not reduced by the discovery of a gay gene.
dwes09
@Brian: “Feminists and their male enablers will be insisting that a woman’s right to abort is not reduced by the discovery of a gay gene.”
Again, you confuse your imagination with the real world. You are, by the way, more of an anti-feminist and misogynyst than Coulter could ever be. Please provide even one word of proof (and once again, your imagination is not proof of anything in the real world) that pro-choice people support abortion as a way of choosing specific traits in your children, as opposed to aborting non-viable fetuses (I guess you are not aware that there is a difference between homosexuality and extreme spina bifida, for example).
When people ask you to support a position, they are asking for real world support, not to see stuff you make up.
dwes09
@Brian: Feminists and their male enablers will be insisting that a woman’s right to abort is not reduced by the discovery of a gay gene.
So here is a bit of REALITY for you, though i am sure you will dismiss it, as is conflicts with your delusions. Amniocentesis is rarely done in the first trimester and has enough danger (causes miscarriage in about one out of every 200-400 cases), so it is unlikely that infants will have their genes tested during the first trimester. That means there are restrictions in abortion, as abortion for birth control is rarely done after 12 weeks. Actually drawing blood from a fetus to do a full genetic work-up is more dangerous and only done where it is indicated by other tests.
Please learn the difference between what pops into your imagination and what is real. Otherwise people think you are a fool (which you might well be).
Brian
Ann Coulter successfully exposed the ugly heart of liberals. They are the biggest bigots.
And if gay male rights are accepted by liberals, why are you segregated? You’re a segregated group of people. Liberals don’t really accept you.
DarkZephyr
@Brian: “I love how Ann exposed the bigotry of the Left, including its misogyny and sexism.”
From a rabid hater of women, that has got to be the most hilariously ironic thing I have ever read from you. Its almost as funny as the comments I read in the article…but in a more pathetic kind of way.
DarkZephyr
@Brian: “Liberals support the abortion of fetuses that are born this way.”
1. If you are saying that we support the procuring of an abortion due to the mother believing that her unborn child might be homosexual…wrong.
2. If you are saying that all liberals are pro-abortion…wrong.
3. If you assume that all conservatives are pro-life…wrong.
man5996853
@Brian: If by “this way”, you mean your way or Ann’s way, I’d take the statement a little further. Most people would support the abortion of those two particular fetuses. Humanity would have been all the better had your and Ann’s parents been pro-choice.
dwes09
@Brian: Ann Coulter successfully exposed the ugly heart of liberals. They are the biggest bigots.
And if gay male rights are accepted by liberals, why are you segregated? You’re a segregated group of people. Liberals don’t really accept you.
Please provide real quotes of Coulters, that use actual facts to point out the mythic “ugly heart of liberals”. I guess nothing is as ugly as environmental safeguards, workplace safety, land use conservation, national parks, clean water, clean air, prevention of industry from lacing our food and consumer goods with toxics. All those are products of the “ugly heart of liberals”. you know what is the product of the pure hearts of folks like Ann and you? Lies, mean spirits and hate speech.
As for gays being segregated, if you ever left your basement you’d see we are not. We LIKE having our own places to gather, eateries, neighborhoods, just like another group Coulter hates, Jews. I guess liberals hate them too, but not as much as Ann (who has said as much, and wants us all to be forcibly converted to Christianity), and probably you actually.
The more you ply your particular brand of delusion Brian, the more people laugh at you.
dwes09
@Brian: You’re a segregated group of people. Liberals don’t really accept you.
Liberals, through the ACLU, have helped LGBT people integrate into the large community. Liberals, through the courts, have given us protection against hate crimes (which folks like you and Ann don’t want us to have). Liberals on the supreme court have given us marriage equality (which Ann rails against, and i guess you find distasteful as well). Conservatives are the ones who want to see homosexuality recriminalized. I guess that is something you agree with? Conservatives are the ones who insist “faith based conversion therapy” works, and encourage it on the regressive party platform. They seem to not understand that empirical examinations shows it does not work.
Liberals make decisions based on empirical findings and real life. Conservatives make decisions based on myth and wishful thinking; a tactic which we see is doomed to failure (based on how poorly you guys are doing attracting gay people, women, people of color, educated people, and others into your “big tent”). You should really try getting out into the real world.
JessPH
They read her well.
MediaGuy
It’s a perversion to believe that abortion is someone’s constitutional “right”. If so, then that constitution is garbage. I’m a Democrat but I could never wrap my head around killing, and then covering up the murder with comforting words such as “constitutional right”, or “a fetus is not a baby”, or whatever else those new-speak people say. Being pro-choice is a weird kind of narcissistic delusion concocted to deliver the mother from guilt. It also denies the father any reproductive rights as he has no legal say in having the baby or killing it. And, I’m not religious or anything. It’s just a secular fact that abortion is killing. I’m not for killing.
He BGB
She said she had never heard what went on at a roast (but probably a spit roast)…anyway so in that respect I bet she was shocked. She wasn’t even the one being roasted! I always wondered if she could take it as much as she dished it out but some of these things said even SHE wouldn’t go that far. Not defending her but thinking of her reactions.
JohnnyCNote
I wrote this for DailyKos, so some of it may seem a little out of context:
Maybe we should make jokes about the Coultergeist being a barren spinster, who has to shave her menopausal mustache, buys FDS by the gross from Sam’s Club and worries about how her “shrubbery” is already turning grey. She is the most vile cur that’s existed since Typhoid Mary. Compared to her, Medusa ranks a solid 10…
dwes09
@MediaGuy: The right to privacy is the basis for the Row v. Wade decision. Given that there is an actual risk to pregnancy (and in fact during the republican/tea party years that risk rose, with maternal death rates and complications in pregnancy in the US reaching the levels of some developing nations); allowing a man to force a woman (especially if they are not bound by the legal contract of marriage) to take that risk is ludicrous. First trimester abortion is safer than carrying to term, does not involve “killing a baby”, and most often involves little or no guilt.
It is not your place to force a woman to give up her life as a result of pills or condoms failing. It is not your place to force a woman to carry a dangerous pregnancy to term, or to give birth to an infant that has no chance of survival or independent life.
Being pro-choice is an acknowledgement that life is complex and requires hard choices. Clearly you ascribe to the notion that what is true for you is true for all; a notion which is more narcissistic and more right wing than support for reproductive choice. And by the way, women have been aborting fetuses since prehistoric times. Herbs that induce miscarriage, while much more dangerous than modern first trimester d&c are well known in EVERY culture and civilization around the world. Use of one such recipe is even mentioned in “scripture”.
MMMBacon
Repugnant. Hateful. Hatchet-faced……yea like the person who wrote this article
Evji108
Given the hateful words that drip from her lips on a daily basis, Ann must have a thick hide, but even with that these words must have hurt her down deep. One wonders what in her upbringing could have created such a wounded creature.
JohnnyCNote
@MMMBacon:
Your point being?
JohnnyCNote
Add to the above (since there doesn’t appear to be an edit function):
“Repugnant. Hateful. Hatchet-faced……yea like the person who wrote this article”
@JohnnyCNote:
MediaGuy
@dwes09: Thank you for making my point that abortion is all about new-speak. You have drunk the Kool-Aide. I believe that what you support is evil. When they can test for the gay gene and mothers are aborting their gay babies then we will have more new-speak, more delusions, more absolution of guilt, more twisted logic. No thanks, let’s call a spade a spade. Abortion is murder, committed by selfish narcissistic women and there is never any justification for it. We can leave it there. It makes me ashamed to be a Democrat.