Answers To The 5 Most Pressing Queer Travel Questions

Today the LGBT travel website GayCities launched a featured called “Answers” that allows the sites’ bazillion users to weigh in on all sorts of random travel questions like “Where can I find the best boylesque?”, “What local greasy spoon serves the best hangover food?”, or “Where can a girly-boy find a good dive bar for transfolk?” That’s all good and well, but we’ve thought of a few unexpected scenarios when “Answers” could really come in handy….

A place to take the conservatives in your life: Not all your friends and family want to hit up Hamburger Mary’s and The Eagle for every outing to take in the drag queens, leather boys, and strippers. So ask your fellow queers where they take their elderly parents or uncle bob the evangelical preacher where you can be out but not outrageous.

Finding a very, very late night delivery place: RAWR! ALCOHOL MAKE BABY HUNGREE!!! Scavenging the sidewalks for a food fix after bar hopping makes you look like a drug addict, darling. So jump online and find that little-known pizza or Chinese delivery spot instead of skeeving out your friends by eating your own shoe laces.

Learning the anti-gay places: Queer travel isn’t just about knowing where to go, but also about knowing where not to go. Surely the locals know the rougher neighborhoods where you might not want to wear your orange sequin fuck-me shirt or make out with your lipstick lezzie pal. Save it for the club, ladies.

Getting the LGBT discount: Let’s face it, some bars and restaurants are, shall we say, a bit liberal when it comes to charging queers. So instead of paying full price like the breeders, find out which bars, restaurants, and shops give deals and service people who don’t mind a little flirting in exchange for a deep discount.