America's got talent

This aspiring artist has written a rap song about how it’s harder to be conservative than gay

It’s true: Complete, utter, full-stop douches are relatively rare.

Every once in awhile, however, you stumble across a piece of cultural effluvia — be it in a gulley or pool of coagulated oil outside the Shell Station — and can’t help but think to yourself: “Hey, this — this is evidence that complete utter douches, though rare, really do walk amongst us and should be avoided.”

An excellent example is the below piece of doggerel, succinctly titled “Coming out as a Conservative Is Harder Than Coming Out As Gay — A Rap”. (No, it’s not a Morrissey song.)

It’s been making the rounds on Reddit this week, and frankly it’d be selfish not to share it with you. HIT it:

Coming out as a conservative is harder than coming out as gay — a rap

Coming out as a conservative is harder than coming out as gay

You don’t wanna hear it but it’s what I gotta say

The priorities in our triggered society are flipped

so don’t you act like a little fucking bitch

Let’s be real you don’t give a fuck how it feels

When a conservative kid tells his friends he voted Trump

and the libtards kick him in the gut

Gay people are accepted everywhere

but if you’re a conservative, people don’t care

about the rampant hatred, rage, and shame

and Tumblrinas giving us a bad name

Man, many people probably wish they were just gay

so they could have it the easier way

and wouldn’t have to pay the price

of maybe destroying their life because they had a different opinion

fuck your triggered opinion

You know I’m right

I won’t back down

I’ll put up a fight

I’m the villain of tumblr, Spike

So y’all gonna brush it off

but I’m tryna be honest and I’m tryna be funny

As the Logical Entrepreneur

Time itself is blurred

Tumblr and the 7 slurs.”

Reactions thus far have been decidedly mixed:

Here’s the original, in all its ineffable glory:

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  • ChrisK

    Funny how all the conservatives I know can never shut up about it.

  • Smith David


  • Heywood Jablowme

    Ah, yes — Mo Bro / Brody’s writing style is instantly recognizable!

  • PinkoOfTheGange

    Well when he gets beat to an inch of his life for being conservative let me know.
    When he gets denied service for being conservative, he can start to whine.
    When the federal government actively tries to roll back hard won civil rights gains in the name a self righteous hate against conservatives he may of made a step in our moccasins.

    • mhoffman953


      Some of those things have actually happened to conservatives and Trump supporters

      >gets beat to an inch of his life for being conservative

      A Trump supporter was viciously hit in the head with a bike lock for simply standing with Trump supporters and nearly died as one example of that or when a far left-wing individual gunned down several Republican congressmen at a charity baseball event.

      Also there was a female Trump supporter who was attacked by protesters and hit with eggs outside of a Trump rally. There have been numerous GOP offices that have been firebombed and vandalized with the word “Nazis” spray painted on them.

      Protesters also knocked a 71 year-old female staffer unconscious because she worked for a Republican congressman

      >When he gets denied service for being conservative

      Conservatives have been banned from social media and have lost their jobs or denied service. A family in Virginia was denied service at a restaurant for wearing pro-Trump clothing, a woman in Colorado was denied service when she wanted a framing company to frame a ticket she had to a pro-Trump event, a bar in New York also refused to serve a man because he was wearing a Trump hat, and there have been many more instances

      >When the federal government actively tries to roll back hard won civil rights gains

      Not quite the same here but the federal government has worked against conservatives during the Obama administration when the IRS specifically targeted conservative groups in regards to their tax fillings at a disproportionate rate than liberal or left-leaning groups

  • Jack Meoff

    The conservatives that feel this way are just butt hurt because they don’t feel special and superior any more. They are running out of people to look down on and feel superior to.

    • Donston

      Especially since there are many black and openly gay people who are Conservative.

      Yet, the rap is ironically (but not surprisingly) full of hate and casual homophobia. Never mind how grandly self-victimizing it is.

  • JaredMacBride

    Poor baby. Maybe he can find a conservative safe space.

  • Josh447

    Unfortunately many of those who bitch and whine about conservatives, still give money to support their cause. In fact they get down on their knees about it and beg forgiveness if they screw up. We all know who makes conservatives crazy. Those three little letters: g. o. d.
    So lefty, when was the last time you dropped a dollar in the basket that supports conservatives in wiping you off the face of the earth?

  • radiooutmike

    A white conservative cis-male in the USA has something to complain about? How he’s struggling?


  • DCguy

    I love how the word “Conservative” is used in place of “Bigoted” or “Racist”.

    He isn’t talking about coming out as being for easier regulations for putting in a backyard wall, or talking about regulations dealing with banking loan rates to each other.

    No, when people say it’s difficult to come out as a “Conservative” and how “Mean” people are, they’re lamenting that they can’t just come out and be racist anymore.

    All of the “Conservatives” SCREAMING about not wanting to be “PC” is a perfect example. PC at it’s core is basically telling people, don’t be a racist, don’t be a bigot, don’t be a sexist. That is their entire lament.

    Lastly, how many times have we heard “Conservatives” ask the question “IF black people use the “N” word, why can’t we?” The fact that they are dying to use it pretty much shows where all of these B.S. arguments stem from.

    • mhoffman953


      “Lastly, how many times have we heard “Conservatives” ask the question “IF black people use the “N” word, why can’t we?” The fact that they are dying to use it pretty much shows where all of these B.S. arguments stem from.”

      That’s not the reason many people ask that question. They ask it to point out hypocrisy within the black community. If the black community is so angry over the use of the N-word, then they shouldn’t be using it themselves. Similar to the way they portray crime and violence against women in their music. Many rap artists rap about robbery and assaulting women, not as much as in the 90s but still prevalent. If they don’t want to glamorize this then they shouldn’t do the thing they preach against.

  • He BGB

    If it’s that difficult then maybe you shouldn’t be conservative. Being gay is innate but conservatism is a choice.

    • Louis

      Exactly you can choose your political party but you can’t choose your sexuality.

  • Louis

    Off topic of this clear douchebag who the hell are the 2 guys kissing? They look really familiar. :D

  • Veno

    Oh stfu.. Did he forget conservatives think homosexuality is a mental decease? Sad thing is, if they really had their way.. we’d all be dead.

    • Veno

      Mental Disease* typo

  • GaybyGod

    This IS NOT discrimination against conservatives!

    It’s called in their own terms,
    “Reaping what they sowed” .

  • jhon_siders

    He is just another white boy that wants to be a black thug sorry you are white get over it no matter how much bling and rap crap you do your just a wannabe whigger .

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