Started from the bottom, now we’re here… with self-identified bottoms (and some vers dudes) revealing the top behavior that really turns them on.
“I saw a post about the opposite of this so: Bottoms, what is the hottest thing a top can do?” a Reddit user asked in the r/askgaybros forum recently.
Here’s a taste of the tips—at least, some of the tips that aren’t too steamy to print—edited for readability.
“Take it slow, and actually do some foreplay. So many just want to shove it in right off the bat.”
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“Spoon me with your arm around my neck and hand on my hip, putting it in slow and kissing me a bit or breathing in my ear.”
“Kiss me while you do it. It’s so intimate … making me feel like you’re a part of me.”
“Technically, listening to me and understanding that sometimes bottoming is a process. But also: grabbing my hips, wrapping your arms around my body, kissing my neck, and moaning and/or growling in my ear.”
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“I wanna be helpless, but also feel safe at the same time. I also wanna know that he’s having a good time, too.”
“Some rhythm. Not just a jackhammer.”
“Them moving their hands across my body, neck-kissing, and being pinned against something.”
“I get the shakes if the guy between my legs is kissing them all the way down to my thighs.”
“I like a dominant voice—a commander because he knows how both of us will enjoy this.”
“Pick me up. Only a few guys have, but I flip every time.”
“I like a verbal top.”
“Kiss my neck. Spend more time on the sensitive areas that make me moan, like my nipples.”
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“Asking for consent is the sexiest thing… It makes me feel that as a bottom, even if subby, I have all the power.”
“Whisper to me while we do the deed. Seriously, I would really enjoy this, but I usually only get grunts that sound like a dying yak. A man whispered to me once, and I thought I had fallen in love with him.”
“Look me straight in the eye, go slow, but be deliberate, and show me how into me he really is.”
“Make me feel you love me and not just use me. And most of all, learn to use that muscle for more than your own pleasure!”
“Really taking the time to loosen me up before fully having sex.”
“Douche as well. I have to go through a process, and it takes time, sometimes longer than you do. Douche as well, and then you know what I go through, and your arse is sparkling in case you want it played with.”
“Mix it up, easy, hard, fast, slow, on top, from behind, Kissing, spitting, choking, asking how you’re doing.”
“Last more than five minutes.”
greekboy
Tops should always remember that bottoms have all the power…if I dont put out…you dont put in
CatholicXXX
Bottoms need to remember that there are 100 of them for every top.
Beggars shouldn’t be making demands.
storm45701
@CatholicXXX: but how many of them are worthy?
Mary Jane
Sounds like they are looking for a Pro because all of that would take time to figure out if you just got picked up on Last Call.
ShiningSex
the spooning part is the best and slowly enter. jackhammering is a turn off. this isn’t high school.
also, the “douching” part is not something is always safe to do too often (ask a doctor, i have). There are ways to making sure “you’re ready” and “clean”. It doesn’t take much. I’ve never had complaints ever.
Chrisk
Ha. I don’t think the top needs to douche unless your flipping. Just make sure your ass is clean.
1898
“Take it slow, and actually do some foreplay. So many just want to shove it in right off the bat.” YES
“Kiss me while you do it. It’s so intimate … making me feel like you’re a part of me.” HELL YES
“Really taking the time to loosen me up before fully having sex.” sometimes yes; sometimes not necessary. depends on the mood and how much foreplay we did. but please for the love of god don’t do this unless you’ve recently trimmed your fingernails
ondaboat0069
Try to remember there’s a spot inside of me that is my pleasure spot. Really deep thrusts do nothing to touch it because it’s located just under my penis. Massage it with your finger and watch the honey flow. Massage it with your penis and watch me blow.
ondaboat0069
Does anyone talk to there btm beside me? How he’s making me feel, what feels good/bad, can we cum together, stroke my penis while you’re in me. Say SOMETHING
Terrycloth
Don’t forget lube lube. Lube some guys like it when you put it in a go 900 mph..what’s your hurry…? Got something else to do ?? Don’t assume every guy can take a big one..
wikidBSTN
This is good advice for the porn industry too. Take note!
Berger
Man, for a minute there I thought I was reading an article straight out of Cosmopolitan!
Spooning? Foreplay?? “Kiss me while you do it. It’s so intimate … making me feel like you’re a part of me.”…WTF?!?!
Sean Penn was right on the money!
Rocinante
You are a moron Booger.
All of this can apply to all sex. I was glad to see one of the things people want to see in gay porn is more passion. If I see anything that even smells like forced sex, S&m or any roughness in porn I’ll turn it off. The best is amateur and typically includes lots of what is being suggested above
Chrisk
So in your world masculine men can’t be affectionate.
Berger
@Chrisk: Not at all, but as a gay man, I have ZERO desire to be with women. There’s nothing wrong with being affectionate, but there is such a thing as overdoing it. We’re men, not women, and when I’m with a man, I don’t expect him to behave all needy and hormonal.
“I wanna be helpless, but also feel safe at the same time. I also wanna know that he’s having a good time, too.”
You can be sensitive, but that’s clearly overdoing it!
Bosch
Note to self: Berger is a terrible lover.
storm45701
Nothing wrong with being affectionate. And we all need intimacy and physical touch. Masculinity is a social construct.
Berger
“Masculinity is a social construct.”
Sorry to burst your bubble, but declaring something doesn’t magically make it so, no matter how badly you need it to be true! Spooning, foreplay and sharing your feelings are “social constructs”, but masculinity has been with us since the dawn of humanity and is to be found in every single culture in the world. The fact that you can increase a person’s masculinity by simply increasing their testosterone level (see hormone replacement therapy) should be enough to prove that masculinity is NOT a social construct.
A lot of our innate behaviors are determined by biology and not by society. The sooner many activists accept this fact, the sooner they can find peace with themselves.
Bosch
That’s an awful lot of hullabaloo to justify your fear of intimacy.
So straight men who spoon and engage in foreplay with their girlfriends are also being feminine? Everyone’s a p*ssy but you?
Heywood Jablowme
Berger should fvck Sean Penn and tell us all how it went!
johncp56
I myself love flippers as i am vers, But butt love to be on bottom, as there are nothing but bottoms around me, a slide-in is rare and I love it, even a selfish top is hot, I think
MrMichaelJ
Wow, too funny. So bottoms telling tops what they should do… OK, good luck actually finding a top to begin with.