top tips

Bottoms inform tops what they should be doing more of

Two men spooning

Started from the bottom, now we’re here… with self-identified bottoms (and some vers dudes) revealing the top behavior that really turns them on.

“I saw a post about the opposite of this so: Bottoms, what is the hottest thing a top can do?” a Reddit user asked in the r/askgaybros forum recently.

Here’s a taste of the tips—at least, some of the tips that aren’t too steamy to print—edited for readability.

“Take it slow, and actually do some foreplay. So many just want to shove it in right off the bat.”

“Spoon me with your arm around my neck and hand on my hip, putting it in slow and kissing me a bit or breathing in my ear.”

“Kiss me while you do it. It’s so intimate … making me feel like you’re a part of me.”

“Technically, listening to me and understanding that sometimes bottoming is a process. But also: grabbing my hips, wrapping your arms around my body, kissing my neck, and moaning and/or growling in my ear.”

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“I wanna be helpless, but also feel safe at the same time. I also wanna know that he’s having a good time, too.”

“Some rhythm. Not just a jackhammer.”

“Them moving their hands across my body, neck-kissing, and being pinned against something.”

“I get the shakes if the guy between my legs is kissing them all the way down to my thighs.”

“I like a dominant voice—a commander because he knows how both of us will enjoy this.”

“Pick me up. Only a few guys have, but I flip every time.”

“I like a verbal top.”

“Kiss my neck. Spend more time on the sensitive areas that make me moan, like my nipples.”

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“Asking for consent is the sexiest thing… It makes me feel that as a bottom, even if subby, I have all the power.”

“Whisper to me while we do the deed. Seriously, I would really enjoy this, but I usually only get grunts that sound like a dying yak. A man whispered to me once, and I thought I had fallen in love with him.”

“Look me straight in the eye, go slow, but be deliberate, and show me how into me he really is.”

“Make me feel you love me and not just use me. And most of all, learn to use that muscle for more than your own pleasure!”

“Really taking the time to loosen me up before fully having sex.”

“Douche as well. I have to go through a process, and it takes time, sometimes longer than you do. Douche as well, and then you know what I go through, and your arse is sparkling in case you want it played with.”

“Mix it up, easy, hard, fast, slow, on top, from behind, Kissing, spitting, choking, asking how you’re doing.”

“Last more than five minutes.”