Théo Becker is a Brazilian TV actor, model, and singer. Yesterday, he opened up to his 130,000 Twitter followers about feelings of bicuriousity he’s experienced in the past.
“I swear… I tried to be open-minded, one day I thought about the possibility of being gay, but I couldn’t… it wasn’t in my nature. Maximum respect for the choice of each one. Don’t be mad at me… I tried.”
JURO .. tentei ter mente aberta, um dia pensei na possibilidade de ser Gay, mas não consegui.. não era de minha natureza. Respeito máximo a escolha de cada um. NAO FIQUEM CHATEADOS COMIGO …..EU TENTEI .. ???
— Theo Becker de Oliveira (@TheoBecker8) September 14, 2021
When someone pressed for more details, Becker clarified that he never acted on his curiosities, it was more a thought he entertained for a while before deciding it wasn’t his thing.
“I thought about the possibility,” he wrote, “but it was impossible for me.”
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But not everyone appreciated the tweet. Some felt it was ignorant and pointed out that being LGBTQ is not a choice.
“Nobody chooses to be LGBTQIA+,” one person commented. “We just are. Being smart is a choice.”
Another added, “Honey, you can be open-minded and not be gay. But one thing is certain, ‘being gay ‘ is not a matter of ‘trying’. Either the person ‘is’ or ‘is not’.”
While those criticisms are certainly valid, another way of looking Becker’s tweet is from the perspective of a straight-identifying man from a country with a homophobic president and where violence against LGBTQ people is widespread talking about being bi-curious in a public forum.
There are still a lot of men who aren’t willing to admit they, too, have had same thoughts, so the fact that Becker is using his social media platform to try and normalize it might not be such a negative thing after all, even if his wording was a little off.
According to Open Democracy, LGBTQ people in Brazil are disproportionately harassed and victimized. The country sees an average of 22 violent attacks a day, or roughly one every hour, with the majority of victims being LGBTQ teens. And last year, trans murders skyrocketed by 70% from the previous year.
Graham Gremore is the Features Editor and a Staff Writer at Queerty. Follow him on Twitter @grahamgremore.
fishface
Who cares? Move on…
rickywintour
Since you commented you definitely care.
balttymore
Why is this news? I once thought about becoming a vegetarian….
Troyfight
Exactly…..although it is close to what Steven Tyler said. …but ehh.
Fahd
The connection between the celebrity who uses gay as a foil to proclaim his straightness and the plight of gay people in Brazil is not really there. It just doesn’t work. The journalism professor is going to mark this paper with a “Redo” and hand it back to you.
Donston
Graham, you really coulda kept that foray into Brazilian queer politics. This was just an unnecessarily messy Tweet from a random actor.
I understand curiosities or not completely understanding your sexuality. But a grown man randomly Tweeting that he tired being “gay”, it’s kinda weird. Only dudes who have had some genuine dimensions, questioning, fluidity, contradictions, are somewhere in the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotional investment, commitment spectrum say shit like that. But instead of just being honest about that and keeping it pushing, many of these guys throw out vague, condescending, borderline homophobic and attention whoring remarks like this. He also seems to be trying to give himself a pat on the back for being “open-minded”, which is rather cringe-y.
We truly are never gonna evolve past identity politicking and sexual politics and learn to just see people and their dimensions as individual. There’s still too much male homophobia, too many male insecurities, too much gay panic, too many people thinking sexual behaviors or even attractions are the be-all of sexuality and the orientation spectrum, too much doing and saying shit mostly for attention or praise. The Tweet ultimately comes off like someone who’s dealt with some gay rumors, and that was his messy ass way of combating them.
dali
“I swear… I tried to be open-minded, one day I thought about the possibility of being Republican, but I couldn’t… it wasn’t in my nature. Maximum respect for the choice of each one. Don’t be mad at me… I tried.”
Donston
“I’m not entirely hetero or I’m in the gender/sexual/orientation spectrum or I’ve had some curiosity or fluidity. And I tried hooking up with guys or being with someone of my sex, but it just wasn’t for me. However, I fully support gay passions and gay love”.
Perfectly tactful comment. However, so many guys are already in defense and gay panic mode before they even say anything. Of course, if there was less male homophobia, less toxic masculinity, less hetero pressures, less identity politics, more understanding of sexuality, fluidity, the gender, sexual, affection, emotion, comfort, commitment spectrum- a lot of these guys would come off less cringe-y. But damn do so many not think before they speak or tweet something for attention or to deflect.
skeldare
He’s too old to simply be ‘bi-curious’
Invader7
Who ???
Just_thom
I find this whole article offensive as a GAY man. Since when did being Gay become a choice? He tried, but just couldn’t? He obviously has a lot to learn & so does the publisher of this article. This was a total waste of time & energy in my opinion!
SDR94103
stop putting this BS in QUEERTY.
Huron132
It’s nice he thought that making this statement would help. I am sure he thought that he was being pro LGBTQ+ and it would make others feel they can be themselves in public. But this was not good way to proclaim this. It makes others think we choose to be LGBTQ+. These types of famous people need to honestly stop and think before speaking. Before you proclaim something like this speak to someone who can help you word your speech in a better light. Then you will help be pro LGBTQ+ the right way.
Donston
A lot of public figures tweet or say something without consulting folks and think they’re saying something positive or insightful, but it instead reads as messy and uninformed. His comment pretty much came off as: “it’s cool that you guys chose to be ‘gay’ and everything, but that shit ain’t for me”.
The entertainment industry is filled with a lot of people who sexually engage/“experiment” with whoever. It’s filled with many people with fluidities or contradictions. It’s filled with a lot of folks who are in the gender, sexual, romantic, affection, emotion, commitment spectrum. Some of those “queers” aren’t homosexual but are overall homo-leaning. Some are not homosexual but are still “gay presenting”. All of that stuff is likely where he got the “choice” shit from. I’m done with nitpicking identities. I’ve just accepted folks and their dimensions as individual. But you also need to be aware that actual legit homosexuality is not a choice, something he may be ignorant of because of his environment. In general, the tweet was just tacky, self-congratulatory and unnecessary.