As a general rule of thumb, it’s usually best not to fornicate with your roommate, especially if that roommate is straight or closeted.
A gay man has just learned this lesson the hard way. After sleeping with his straight roommate a month ago, he says the guy’s been giving him the silent treatment, so he’s asking advice guru Rich Juzwiak over at Slate for help.
“I slept with my straight roommate when we were both drunk,” the man writes. “I am the only gay guy (seemingly!) in a shared house of five guys, and this was very much unplanned.”
The man goes on to say he was “totally fine” with the hookup, and the roommate seemed to be, too. But now, he says, “it’s clear he’s not.”
“A month later, I now hear him having loud sex with women regularly, which I definitely never heard before,” he writes. “He’s not hostile, but he won’t really look me in the eye either.”
“The other roommates have asked me if I’ve noticed him acting strangely. Is it wise to bring this up with him, or should I just let it go? Again, I know I am dumb.”
Honestly, given how easy it is to find sex these days thanks to hookup apps and social media, we have to agree and say this was pretty damn dumb.
But what’s done is done…
Rich’s advice: Relax.
“Stop beating yourself up,” he writes in his response to the man. “It’s not dumb to hook up with a self-identified straight guy; it’s hot. You (presumably) introduced him to the joys of gay sex, and he clearly wanted to learn sometime.”
He continues: “What was on the ‘dumb’ side (to use your word) was hooking up with a platonic roommate, as now you have to look at him not looking at you every day.”
“Like many of life’s pleasures, hooking up with a straight (or closeted) guy comes with a cost. The price you pay for hooking up with someone who is less than secure in his sexuality is the awkwardness that comes after.”
“Let him sort this out on his own,” Rich says, “or at most, let him make the first move.”
What do you think the guy should do? Share your thoughts in the comments section below…