Wanna snigger and giggle over the broadening sex scandal threatening to take Spokane Mayor Jim West down by his soiled cellulite? One of his honor’s aids claims West said he slapped the monkey in his office one day while cyber-cruisin’ a hot gay site.

Eagle Scout Badge

I never masturbated in my office,” West is now saying. We of course all know that worse, and better things have happened in offices.

Last Thursday, West resigned from the executive board of the Inland Northwest Council of the Boy Scouts. The Scout oath does include a line about staying “morally straight.” West will in any case be better off morally gay.

In one chat with a Spokane area reporter, West reportedly blubbered like a baby over the hell his closet-case life has been. This affair certainly does demonstrate that society at large can be harmed by homophobia; if the young West had simply said he wanted the platano in his mofongo the first time he knew he wanted it, he would have behaved himself in office just the way every single heterosexual man in the land does, never, ever, ever cruising the internet during work hours.

Meanwhile, justice in action got a hold of West’s computer files. He had neglected to delete the one containing a gay.com chat with HappyCollegeGuy when he, the mayor, was masquerading as Cobra82nd. Here is a passage for your reading pleasure.

Cobra 82nd: “I’m looking for some cuddle bunny to nuggle with. You game?”

HappyCollegeGuy: “You will never score with me.”

Imagine getting your professional life flushed down the toilet for a scintillating exchange like that!

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