Noted “networking” app Grindr has taken a new step to combat racist and shaming language on user profiles.
This new initiative, known as “Kindr,” kicked off with the first in a series of videos this week. In it, former Queer Eye host Jai Rodriguez leads a chorus of Grindr users describing the racist or shaming rhetoric they’ve encountered while using the app.
“For you to say ‘I know what every Asian guy looks like and I know for a fact that I would not be attracted to any of them…’ Like that comes from a racist place because you don’t know what we all look like. That’s ugly,” observes participant Joel Kim Booster. “Just tell me what you do like.”
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Rodriguez adds a plea for empathy: “You don’t know what the person on the other side of the phone is going through. You have no idea what they’re experience is or what else they have going on. Or what that comment might do to them.”
Landen Zumwalt, a Grindr spokesperson, also released a statement further elaborating on the Kindr initiative:
Sexual racism, transphobia, fat and femme shaming and further forms of othering such as stigmatization of HIV positive individuals are pervasive problems in the LGBTQ community. These community issues get brought onto our platform, and as a leader in the gay dating space, Grindr has a responsibility to not only protect our users, but also to set the standard for the broader community that we serve. Online discrimination has reached epidemic proportions affecting not only Grindr but other social networks. Our ‘Kindr’ initiative is a rallying call for Grindr and our community to take a stand against sexual racism and all forms of othering.
In the past, users have criticized Grindr for allowing racist, transaphobic or other shaming statements on user profiles. The app claims to have more than 3 million users per day.
StraightnNarrow
“Sexual racism”? Oh dear Lord, have mercy on all those fragile gays who can’t take no for an answer. “No Asians” is just fine for me and there is nothing bigoted about it. If some people feel rejected because of other people’s preferences, they may as well jump off the Golden Gate Bridge before they erect the safety net next year.
Kangol
Of course “No Asians” is fine for you and not “bigoted” because you are a racist, even if you are, as you claim, non-white. In your comments on here, you constantly justify homophobia, racism, misogyny, and the most retrograde attitudes under the sun, unless you’re defending a white person you find attractive, which you’ve done more than once, under your various personae on here (StraightnNarrow, CastleSF, etc.). You may revel in the racist humiliation of having an entire race of people rejected based solely because of who they are, which you ascribe to “preferences,” but fortunately, many more people do not. And of course, you still have not addressed the basic fact that you clearly do not do a damned thing for “gays,” “fragile” or otherwise, except push your backwards respectability politics. And you call my comments “spineless”? Chile, bye!
StraightnNarrow
No need to get so riled up, Kangol. I disagree with your alt left politics and I think you lack moral compass and shows little courage to speak out against what ails the urban gay men in the US, addiction to sex, porn, hard drugs, promiscuous lifestyle. We are very different animals coming from different backgrounds. We both have our audience and neither one is going away anytime soon.
Lacuevaman
not sure about the golden gate bridge…. but could agree with you more about the fragile feelings folks seem to think should be the norm….. get over it Bruce. Butch it up a bit.
Lacuevaman
could not
Heywood Jablowme
@Straight: Wow. I clicked on this expecting to see you say how awful Grindr is because it promotes promiscuity. I thought you would blast away at promiscuity and “fems” while not even mentioning racism.
Instead you totally ignore the promiscuity (until you start arguing with Kangol) and you blandly defend saying “No Asians” on Grindr, as if you’ve done it yourself. Very funny!
Tyrone Johnston
“If some people feel rejected because of other people’s preferences, they may as well jump off the Golden Gate Bridge before they erect the safety net next year.”
Yeah, that’s great sounding advice…until some small business decides that they don’t want to bake a cake for gays. Then, mercy on all those fragile gays who can’t take no for an answer. Bakers have preferences, too???
Kieran
Does this mean no more “Othering” Trump supporters?
Heywood Jablowme
I know you’re being sarcastic, since I realize you’re a Trump supporter, but that’s probably the next crusade.
Trump supporters are the most thin-skinned Sore Winners that ever existed. What a bunch of whiny b*tches. It’s easy to imagine them going on a crusade to force normal gays to have sex with them.
JoshGL
MARY!
gymmuscleboy
I’ve been with many women, just like I’ve been with many asians. But having tried it with them, I know for sure that I am just not interested – I know I’m not going to meet a woman/asian one day and fall in love.
So if I am sexually racist, then I am also heterophobic… how ridiculous!
Charlie in Charge
OK so two scenarios:
1. An Asian guys opens your profile, thinks you’re a catch, messages you and you don’t respond.
2. An Asian guys opens his profile and reads that you would not even consider meeting with him because he is Asian.
Now, in both of these scenarios you do not sleep with the guy (and no one would expect you to) but do you see how they are different for the guy looking at your profile?
gymmuscleboy
Yes I do see the distinction between those two scenarios – what’s your point?
By the way, the second scenario wouldn’t occur because I don’t need to tell the guy that I’m not into Asians – just that I’m not interested.
zxcv
Such a closet Nazi
khan72
NO ASIANS ? Asia is the largest continent on earth with almost 4 and a half billion people. Their looks vary far more than caucasians – Indonesians, Japanese, Indian, Russian, Turkey, etc. To the pig ignorant racist, be specific it will lessen your humiliation
gymmuscleboy
Individuals can be specific about it if you ask them. For example, I find Koreans and Japanese more attractive than other asians, but still not enough to date. I have met Chinese, Indonesians, Malaysians, Filipinos, Indians etc. I have dated a few Asians, but I realised they’re not that attractive to me – just like I know I’m not attracted to women. I don’t want to make others feel bad, so I wouldn’t bring it up it if it weren’t for this ridiculous, authoritarian Kindr initiative. I feel sorry for anybody who falls for the idea that they are obligated find all people attractive.
miserylovedme24
This is the dumbest, most ridiculous thing ever. No one, absolutely no one, has the right to tell someone else who they must talk to, date, or hookup with. I am never in a million years going to do anything with someone transgender. That’s not transphobia. Transphobia would be if I wanted to deny them equal rights or to deny them being who they are, not whether I would ever be interested in them.
PinkoOfTheGange
And no one is in that ad is saying anyone has too.
Just be nice when you say “not interested”.
The other side is those that are being politely turned down then just suck it up and move on.
gymmuscleboy
Since Grindr fell into Chinese hands, I became a bit less interested. This Kindr thing might be the nail in the coffin for me.
zxcv
@gymmuscleboy May the Chinese grind you into the ground.
queerty02
I think a lot of “sexual racism” comes down to sheer lack of exposure to people of different backgrounds. They think “oh you’re black/asian/south asian, so that means you’re like this.” And they just don’t realize all the permutations of race, and physical, and personality traits. They match their sexual preference to a racial image, when world has so much more to offer.
KevInSD
You can’t make a kinder Grindr anymore than you can make dry water. It is inherently unkind. It is a cold, capitalistic marketplace where bodies are put up for inspection by strangers and then selected for loveless sex. It is the kind of system that Bain Capital or Goldman Sachs would set up if they were in charge of the world’s sexuality.
You won’t find kindness there. If you have the most marketable physical traits, you can achieve a transitory degree of “success” (defined as multiple loveless sexual contacts), but the promiscuity marketplace is set up for everyone else to experience varying degrees of cruelty. And even the transitory faux “winners” will, with time, find themselves losers. The only true winners with Grindr are the venture capitalist investors behind Grindr, the ones who make money off of the promiscuity of others and then go home to their wives and husbands.
gymmuscleboy
I think your market analogy is an interesting one. Kindr is like trying to over-regulate a market. And we all know what happens to markets when they are over-regulated – they work less efficiently and eventually collapse.
Me2
I don’t think the intention is to actually make it any kinder or to force anyone into hooking up with anyone that they don’t want to. It’s to make some users feel like their complaints have been acknowledged and validated. And maybe in the process, some others will be less abrasive with how they express their likes and dislikes or become open to exploring “others”. The decision will still be up to the user.
StraightnNarrow
Kevin, I don’t think I can articulate the intrinsically addictive nature about all the hookup apps better than you do. These apps are like hard drugs. You use them when you are sad and lonely and you use them even more when you are elated and hyper. They promote promiscuous, risky, and unkind sexual behaviors. They put users in danger by seducing them to meet psychos and criminals. They make gay men jaded, cynical, and sex crazed sluts who eventually descend into sex addiction. Still if gays still want to delve into this dark abyss, at least they should be allowed to state their racial and other preferences. Hey, if you choose to be a fallen soul, you ain’t going to meet any angels.
jussie_roderick
This was aesthetically pleasing to read.
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Gimme a fcuking break!
IT’S A HOOK UP APP!!!!
Why waste time if both parties are not mutually attracted to each other???
Time for the flocking crybabies to put on their big boy pants and realize and accept not everyone is attracted to you!!!
zxcv
How did your fascist parents put up with a bastard like you?
PinkoOfTheGange
I see all the usual players are here whining about what really…being nice?
Post your preferences in a positive way: such as G?M into similar. It is quite simple. If some one calls that out then they are just being ridiculous, and tell them that with out any extra venom, or better just ignore them.
There are very few, perhaps that are very vocal, that actually think if you are on grinder you should take all comers.
Now if grinder could rid of the fakes & flakes that would be a giant leap forward for the app.
gymmuscleboy
Hey Kindr, put your words into action and implement a scoring system. Individuals will be automatically scored based on their race and how often they interact with different races. Asian people start with 3 stars because they are “diverse” and get points for interacting with other “oppressed” ethnicities, including their own. White people start with one star and get points taken away for interacting with other whites.
TheMarc
Haven’t posted on here in a while; but couldn’t keep myself from saying something. Want to get one thing out of the way first. If you will not date someone based on their race, that is racist, period. I don’t care what mental gymnastics you perform to justify that it is not; it is. With the wide variety of looks present in EVERY race, there is no way it’s just a personal preference when you dismiss entire races. Equating gender with race is a dumb argument. Using your gay identity to maneuver around your racism by saying “well am I sexist because I don’t like women,” is silly and intentionally evasive at best.
Now having said that, this will not work. Grindr by it’s very nature is a shallow meat market. And yes, I’m sure there have been plenty of “meaningful” relationships fostered by this app; but those are among “pretty people.” Grindr is not a place where your shining personality will lead you to the love of your life, typically. So the same people who used to put “No Blacks, Asians, Fats, Femme, etc.,” will not change. And, personally, not seeing that language in a profile does nothing for me as a black man; I certainly respect the opinions of those who disagree on that. But, I kind of like seeing which people are racist a-holes. Just block, block, block and keep hunting. Do you really want to waste your time on someone who is so dense that they would put forth this type of language in a semi-public forum? Have some self respect and enough of a sense of self worth to not need universal approval from EVERYONE. So somebody you find attractive doesn’t want to “date” you? So what?! Move on!!
zxcv
Yes, but people should be forced to rein in their hateful language. PC is not a bad thing. Just because you and others enjoy that visual assault doesn’t mean the rest of us need to be subjected to that
Me2
This is more about customer retention and the appearance of social responsibility than anything else. Grindr knows that this new initiative isn’t really going to change anyone’s personal preferences or attractions. They’re just trying to come as close as they possibly can to facilitating an inclusive environment for all of their users. Since their product is designed exclusively for one of the most marginalized groups in the world (LGBTQ), many would agree that they not only have the option to implement these changes, but they have an obligation.
markthehandyman
This assumes that gay men actually care about hurting each other. In fact, they’re the most vicious, destructive group of people I’ve ever met. And racist?! OMG where to start…
Gotchanoone
Sadly, you are so right. I had to learn this the hard way.
jussie_roderick
‘Kindr’ is just letting everyone outside of the community know how racist gay men have always been. Grindr is just a reflection of how shitty we are and how terribly we treat each other.
surreal33
Racism is the least of Grindr’s problems. Racism is intrinsic and Grindr just another outlet.
Gotchanoone
Until racism within the gay community is dealt with as a whole, it will continue to be a problem, regardless which type of method gay men meet.
Heywood Jablowme
How could “we” possibly deal with racism as a whole? Any practical suggestions?
Oh I know, some more snooze-inducing mush about how “we had to band together 30 years ago because of AIDS” and all that blah blah blah. That’s the only thing anybody ever comes up with.
Believe it or not, casual hookup ads in the ’80s were as casually racist as Grindr profiles are today.
linniejr
I can’t believe some of the comments that I’m reading here. They make me ask are we adults or children? I thought this forum was for expressing points of view by reasonable people who no matter if we agree or disagree, can do so in a respectable manner. Look whether it’s called sexual or anything else, racism is still racism. Most sites have what is your preference, pick those that are, anything else is unnecessary. I’ve been on sites whereby I’ve selected my preferences as 1) Black, 2) Latino/Hispanic 3) White etc. First of all I chose black, because I am black. Latino, because I had a lover that treated me well who was Latino/ Hispanic, white, because I’ve had few encounters with white me, but I have been in a relationship with a white man, overall, these are the races of men I’ve had pleasurable relationships with, but at the same time, I would not rule out having a relationship with someone of Asian descent, (Asian descent meaning, men from or whose parents are from those countries from the Continent of Asia).
This article is bringing to light something that affects the gay male community that has to be corrected. This is not the time for us to be calling each other names or worried about who supports Trump or not. Who cares?
I’ll close with this, racism by any other name is still racism.
DHT
I have never understood people feeling the need to write what they don’t want…such negativity…why don’t they just write what you do want?
gymmuscleboy
@linniejr I used to be just like you, having a racial dating preference hierarchy but “open to everyone” – it felt nice, it felt politically correct – until I gained more experience and realised what I wanted, and started to pursue that exclusively. It’s been positive. For example, as you get older, you might realise that you would rather be in a relationship with someone with certain political views – as a result, you don’t waste time starting conversations with republicans on dating sites.
Juanjo
I find all the sockpuppets posting here defending racism quite pathetic. As the article points out and several other posters have pointed out, the purpose of the campaign is not to force anyone to have sex with someone who does not meet their sexual attraction parameters. No girls, you do not have to date Asians if you have decided to reject all Asians for whatever reason. You do not have to hang out with Asians either. Likewise, if you cannot stand the idea of having sex with a Caucasian guy, don’t worry. No one is going to force you.
The only issue is that you behave politely. Even in a meat market, it is possible to remain polite. Some silly queen brought up how back before hook-up media, people were just as rude in their rejections. Well in one sense that is true, rude queens would give people the cold shoulder quickly if the person did not that queens exactly standards. That said, most of those queens did not indulge in racist verbal assaults face to face as it was a good way to get their makeup seriously messed with.
DHT
you are asking gay men to behave politely? Darn…you are trying to take away the most fun (next to sex) that most of these guys have, being nasty to each other.
gymmuscleboy
@Juanjo I see how you have come to that interpretation. However, the video conflates two issues:
1. Making abusive/racist comments (as you pointed out)
2. Not being attracted to certain races – which they call “sexual racism”
So I think it is unfair for you to say “The only issue is that you behave politely”. Your criticism of commenters here might be undue because I think the majority of us can agree that issue 1 is bad. However, we find issue 2 different – it is ridiculous/authoritarian for Kindr to tell us that we need to be attracted to all races (eg. “For you to say… I would not be attracted to [Asians]… comes from a racist place” – Kindr).
DHT
You are trying to change the racial political psychology of a really screwed up group of guys. Damaged gay men will never stop their pathological ‘I am better than you’ bs that they use against other gay men because it is the only psychological mechanism that allays their feelings of inferiority. Most of them would actually be with any race of guy if they stopped to consider it but if they cannot use your race against you then they are losing a weapon from their arsenal. When I was younger I was asked by a group of gay white men that I worked with in a bar if I would date a black man. I told them that of course I would…the creeps labelled me a size queen and harrased me from then on.
StraightnNarrow
By hiding your true feeling and not revealing it to a potential suitor, whether he is Asian or white (Latinos have no such problems. Who doesn’t like hot blooded Latinos?), you are prolonging his agony and keeping him in the dark. Sure, you can say “not a match” but that’s just your approach. Some people prefer to be blunt and straightforward on line. You may not like it but it’s their prerogative. I despise hookup apps and feel disgusted at bathhouses and believe that more gays should go out to wine bars or other wholesome places, like churches or charity organizations, to meet people. But if you insist on going to that dark and unforgiving online world to hook up for anonymous and risky sex, you’d better have a titanium spine and thick skin.
zxcv
“Who doesn’t like hot blooded Latinos?” r acist much?? Are you from a working class background?
Doug
Grindr and similar apps are all about objectifying gay men. It’s not surprising to me that when people treat each other like meat, their race is included in the package.
bowlingbutch
Get a Life! Arguing back and forth is a waste of time. WOW you get to spew your opinion and possibly get someone to argue with you. What you write on here is not going to change anyone’s opinion nor are you going to change yours. Read the article and use your time more constructively and GET A LIFE!
zxcv
Such a bitchy North American
Birdbrain1963
I quit using the apps years ago. Glad I did. Just for hookups and I didn’t want hookups anymore.
MatthewHall
What is “sexual racism”?
JaredNorthcutt30
You wanna solve the -isms in society? Take a page from my book. Become an asexual trans woman and stop having sex.