Elton’s Euro Tour Trashed

No doubt Elton John‘s European fans are shaking their faggy fists today. The gay singer’s management has regrettably announced that John will not be performing in Venice, Paris, Seville, Berlin or Moscow for his “Red Piano Tour”. An Elton flack released the following statement:

We regret to announce that Elton John’s European ‘Red Piano’ shows have been canceled. The promoter has been unable to guarantee to put on the shows, resulting in us having to take this very difficult decision.

We do of course appreciate that Elton’s fans will be disappointed at this news, and we are already looking into the possibility of returning to the affected cities in the very near future.

Don’t worry, though: the UK shows will go on.

Elton John pulls European tour