Former Dallas Cowboys linebacker Jeff Rohrer just came out as gay. Not only that, but heâs getting hitched this weekend, making him the first known former or current NFL player to be in a same-sex marriage.
Rohrer played in the NFL from 1982 to 1988. On Sunday, he will marry his partner of two years, Joshua Ross.
The New York Times reports:
Mr. Rohrer is the first known National Football League player to be part of a same-sex marriage. The man who once spent four quarters chasing quarterback Vince Ferragamo on a Sunday, will look like a million bucks on his wedding day thanks to Salvatore Ferragamo, which provided the midnight blue tuxedos that will be worn by both grooms (Mr. Rohrer will also be wearing black, patent-leather shoes by Ferragamo, while Mr. Ross will sport a pair of Rollover Black Velvet Shoes by Christian Louboutin).
âIf I had told the Dallas Cowboys in the 1980s that I was gay, I would have been cut immediately,â Rohrer tells the paper. âIt was a different world back then, people didnât want to hear that.â
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In an interview with Outsports, Rohrer, who was previously married to a woman with whom he has two children, elaborates: âSo many nights I cried myself to sleep, feeling like I was the Wolfman, or Jekyll and Hyde, or Frankenstein, some kind of monster that only comes out when itâs a full moon, always living in the shadows.â
Well, not anymore!
Since meeting Ross and coming out, Rohrer says heâs received an outpouring of love and support from pretty much everyone in his life.
âThe kindness of my friends and my family and my teammates,â the 59-year-old says, âthey donât care about any of that. They just love me, they always have.â
He continues: âIâm not going to change the world, but we can at least get the message out there that itâs OK and Iâm proud of where I am. Iâm not ashamed. Iâm not the Wolfman anymore. My family and friends are 100% behind me. That kind of message can maybe move the ball forward a little bit.â
Related: NFLâs first male cheerleader totally slays in debut performance, is met with cheers⌠and jeers
djmcgamester
He talks about how in the 80s he would have been cut right away if he came out as gay. Not so sure that would be any different. Realistically, if we had gay football players in the 80s we’ve also had them at all times going forward from them.
I am glad he’s out. It’s just one more push in the direction of saying you can be an athlete in a rough sport regardless of your sexuality. We need more role models to show it.
Donston
Getting cut right away is probably not an option in today’s environment, especially if your play actually means something to the team. There are plenty of homo-leaning/gay men in the NFL. The players, owners and media are very well aware of this. Being out and being in a publicly known, unabashed same-sex relationship are where the problem mainly lies.
davidjohng
“There are plenty of homo-leaning/gay men in the NFLâŚunabashed same-sex relationship are where the problem mainly lies”
And that IS a problem. Why should a professional player be in effect in the closet? No difference than the military 20 years ago. Str8 people are always wondering what’s up with this coming out biz seemingly everywhere nowadays. Well here is the reason. There’s need to be more open same-sex couples in order to challenge this institutionalized homophobia here and elsewhere.
Donston
That’s how it’s been for a while for guys in sports. Do your thing, just don’t let the greater public find out. Also, a lot of these athletes and as well as people in entertainment are constantly told something akin to what I was told when growing up: same-sex/non-opposite cis relationships are insubstantial and are all about sex and lust, and they’re merely for fun and play-play and short term. (It wasn’t until I got older that I realized what I had with women was mostly about fun and play-play and short-term. And what I could have with a dude was much more substantial and fulfilling and long-lasting). So, a lot of these guys don’t invest in their same-sex relationships and don’t treat them seriously due to feeling they’re inferior to hetero relationships. Then there is not wanting to be “the first”. Being the first big name in the NFL, NBA, MLB, etc. to come out and be in a public gay relationship is just not the type of attention and pressure and career defining moment many want to deal with. Then there’s typical shame, internalized homophobia, confusion, religious guilt, still contending with past traumas, not wanting to be “branded ‘gay”.
christianroth
Oh shit! – I thought it was a woman! – Didn’t realise that’s his fiancee – but wtf if they’re happy, that’s what’s important
Donston
It’s a very photo-shopped pic. So, that is partially why. Also, yes, some men have preferences that lean towards rather “queer” and effeminate guys.
mz.sam
A major congrats to Jeff for owning his truth and best wishes to the happy couple and to their future. In this era of heightened hate, we need more role models in this world.
mz.sam
Its possible the fiancĂŠ’s photo was altered to protect scrutiny from haters.
davincibarnette
Or..he’s just had some bad surgery
BigRedEO
Hate to say it, but I was thinking “Bad cheek implants? And make-up? And about what, 30 years younger than Jeff?”
And why do we care who made their shoes? Unless they’re getting them for free only if the makers get a plug?
ocahan
The fiancĂŠ appears similar to a younger Rohrer.
texaugust
Gee I wonder which one is the bottom?
Jackrabbit
He’s marrying his sex toy?
ricdardc1
I Smell a New Contestant for Dancing with the Stars, Next Season.
Brian
I’m glad I wasn’t the only one thinking the guy looked like a silicone sex doll.
enlightenone
Stayed in the closet since 1988 to yesterday? A mixed message at the very least! That said, good for him. It’s never too late to “find” love!
Yooper
Damning with faint praise is never in fashion.
Kangol
This is a great story, and I’m happy for Jeff Rohrer and his soon-to-be husband. I’m glad that he’s out and happy, that he’s found love and a loving relationship, and that the NFL, other pro leagues, and other active and retired NFL and other pro athletes, especially ones who are on the DL, as he was, or who’re semi-out can see that it’s possible to be a fully out gay man and have a happy life. He may be the first to get married to someone of the same sex, but his example will help ensure that he won’t be the last.
Billy Budd
The fiance is not cute at all, but the former and present stud/daddy is incredibly hot.
Tombear
Can you say DADDY!
avesraggiana
Gee, which one is the girl, and which one is the boy?
Ronbo
Which one, if either, are you?
Rock-N-RollHS
He married a lesbian! Good for him. How very today!
Yooper
F’me you have me laughing!
Franco
As a young man I would drive seventy miles into NYC. I was so closeted I was afraid to get out of my car and go into a bar on Bleeker St. It was horrible. I would just drive around and finally make the long drive home without any human contact. Fast forward thirty years. I spent two years in therapy and thirty years working in law enforcement for NYS. I came out on the job after dealing with my issues and was very well treated by my fellow officers. Many years later I led the NYC Gay Pride parade carrying the banner for G.O.A.L. (Gay Officers Alliance League) The thought of marching out in the open on the same streets I use to hide from was exhilarating. I urge all men living in the closet to get help. Life can be and in fact does get so much better.
johnozed
That is great!
Elf92
Very inspiring! Thank you for sharing. It’s nice to hear about such experiences. đ Especially about the steps that had to be taken to get to that place of contentment in ones life.
Officiant
I wish them a long and happy marriage.
Celtic
David Kopay of the Washington Redskins was the first pro footballer to come out. That was in the late 1960s to very early 1970s.
batesmotel
In the sports world you definitely donât talk much about it.