Talking straight

Gay guy shares lessons learned from his straight guy crush

It’s only human for us of the homosexual persuasion to misconstrue friendly attention from straight guys as something more. But one gay guy has gone through that “straight guy crush song and dance,” and he’s offering words to the wise on Reddit. “Hopefully someone can find my experience useful,” he writes.

Related: Have you ever been in love with your straight best friend? These guys have.

In his post, the Redditor explains that he fell for a straight friend last summer and told him that he had caught feelings. “He politely said no,” he adds. “I instantly felt shame/guilt and tried to apologize. He never spoke to me again. I was a mental wreck.”

With that painful experience in hindsight, the Redditor offers three tips:

If they say [they’re] straight, take their word for it. Full stop.

If you’re seeing ‘signs’ or reading into their behavior, err on the side of caution. It’s probably just wishful thinking on your part.

Do what you need to to avoid escalating unhealthy feelings (e.g. distancing yourself, taking a break, develop strong boundaries, etc.).

“I’m not looking to shame or judge anyone — clearly I’ve been there — but I just hope that I can help spare someone putting themselves/someone else through this unnecessary mess,” he writes.

Related: Olly Alexander on falling for straight men, Grindr, and the possibility of being in a thruple

Other anecdotes from guys who have professed their love to their straight pals show that mileage may vary, but most don’t seem to work out. Proceed with caution, gents!