Heartstopper star Kit Connor has briefly returned to Twitter in order to reveal he’s bisexual. The 18-year-old actor quit the platform in September after facing accusations of “queerbaiting”.
Posting last night, Connor said, “back for a minute. i’m bi. congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. i think some of you missed the point of the show. Bye”
back for a minute. i’m bi. congrats for forcing an 18 year old to out himself. i think some of you missed the point of the show. bye
— Kit Connor (@kit_connor) October 31, 2022
The tweet has had over 630k likes in less than 12 hours.
Connor plays the bisexual schoolboy, Nick, in the much-loved Netflix series, Heartstopper. Before this, he also played the role of a young Elton John in the movie, Rocket Man. However, he has avoided revealing his own sexuality in interviews.
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Related: Kit Connor is “perfectly confident” with his sexuality and he’s not here for anyone’s assumptions
After a video emerged of him holding hands with Argentine-American actress and singer Maia Reficco, some social media users accused him of “queerbaiting”. The term is applied to people or characters who tease LGBTQ fans by being vague about their sexuality but who are actually straight.
In September, Connor quit Twitter following intense speculation about his private life and sexuality. He said then, “this is a silly silly app. bit bored of it now, deleting twitter.”
this is a silly silly app. bit bored of it now, deleting twitter 🙂
— Kit Connor (@kit_connor) September 12, 2022
Friends and fans respond to Kit Connor coming out
Conner’s latest tweet has prompted thousands of replies, including one from Heartstopper creator Alice Oseman.
Oseman said, “I truly don’t understand how people can watch Heartstopper and then gleefully spend their time speculating about sexualities and judging based on stereotypes. I hope all those people are embarrassed as FUCK. Kit you are amazing 💖”
I truly don’t understand how people can watch Heartstopper and then gleefully spend their time speculating about sexualities and judging based on stereotypes. I hope all those people are embarrassed as FUCK. Kit you are amazing 💖
— Alice Oseman Updates (@AliceOseman) October 31, 2022
Fellow Heartstopper actors Kizzy Edgell and Sebastian Croft also tweeted support.
i love u kit im sorry this has been so disgustingly rough on you. been treated so unfairly.
— kizzy edgell (@kizzy_edgell) October 31, 2022
Kit Connor, the world doesn’t deserve you. Love you my friend ❤️
— Sebastian Croft (@SebastianCroft) November 1, 2022
Gay swimmer Michael Gunning tweeted: “Reading tweets like this is heartbreaking… especially when Heartstopper taught so many people around the world the true value of someone’s personal coming out story. I’m so sorry you had this moment taken away from you Kit, but let’s hope people will learn from it!”
Reading tweets like this is heartbreaking… especially when Heartstopper taught so many people around the world the true value of someone’s personal coming out story. I’m so sorry you had this moment taken away from you Kit, but let’s hope people will learn from it! ❤️❤️
— Michael Gunning (@MichaelGunning1) October 31, 2022
Some called for an end to “queerbaiting” accusations.
the natural conclusion of the “queerbaiting” discourse is mobs of people harassing and intimidating a celebrity into publicly declaring their sexuality before they’re ready, and somehow thinking it’s a righteous act. c’mon y’all, grow up. https://t.co/uNapsl7maQ
— matt (@mattxiv) November 1, 2022
Many others tweeted images from the original Heartstopper graphic novels addressing this very issue.
— sophia (@pinkthepigeon) October 31, 2022
Maia Reficco tweeted a simple, grey heart emoji.
🤍
— mai (@maiareficco) November 1, 2022
Heartstopper proved a big hit for Netflix, which has already commissioned a further two seasons. Season two is currently in production.
Related: A bunch of new details about ‘Heartstopper’ Season 2 just dropped and there’s SO much to unpack
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Vince
Who is this twitter mob and why don’t they have a life?
Neoprene
Bi. Yawn. Well, OK, as long as you’re gender fluid and change your pronouns to he/she/they.
Bosch
Picking on a child. So macho.
CatholicXXX
He’s 18.
He’s an adult.
smittoons
@CatholicXXX Of all the screen names to weigh in on something like that…
Jon in Canada
You know Neoprene, your mother really should have used the wire hanger when she had the chance.
LumpyPillows
Some people misunderstand disagreement for people who are just trolls. Neoprene is an example of people who are just trolls. Don’t say I did not give you an example.
joefsh
I really think social media is the downfall of civilization. I see more harm than good. This kid at 18 never should have been pressured to come out as anything – people have too much time on their hands to pry into other peoples lives
despicable
RIGay
His first mistake was thinking that Twitter was all that – should have stayed off it, period.
Twitter is nothing other than a toxic wasteland.
GlobeTrotter
I’m so TIRED of people coming out! Really, who cares? I would have thought we as a society had gotten over our petty need to pigeon-holing each other by now, but I see we still have a long way to go.
Look, I’m thrilled whenever anyone learns to live comfortably in his/her own skin, but your sexuality is really only relevant to you as well as the person you’re sleeping with. It’s of ZERO concern to third parties! Therefore no need to come out. Also no need to justify, explain or seek anyone’s approval. Just be yourself, live a fulfilled life and cause no one to suffer in the process – that’s it! Life is really that simple!
I only wish I knew this is a teenager…
Cam
No, your sexuality is very relevant when Republicans are trying to pass laws outlawing the existence of LGBTQ people. And saying people shouldn’t come out is a perfect way to go back to the 1950s when they could pretend we didn’t exist. If people don’t come out, then there is no reason to have any laws protecting them.
GlobeTrotter
“Coming out” is announcing to society, i.e. seeking its approval, to be who you are. This is a completely foolish and unnecessary ritual which can end up harming the individual if he/she doesn’t receive society’s expected approval.
The only person’s approval you’ll ever need in order to be yourself and to live your life is YOUR OWN! As long as you harm no one, then you do NOT need society’s approval for anything! You do NOT need to “come out” to anyone as you do NOT need anyone’s approval to be yourself. You also do NOT need to explain your sexuality to anyone. Just live your life, be happy, die and then go to heaven. Easy peasy!
If other people are unhappy with the life you’ve chosen to live, then it means they’re unable to find their own happiness with the life they’ve chosen to live. They are jealous and should be avoided or ignored as far as possible.
Like I said above, if I’d known all this as a teenager, I could have spared myself DECADES of grief, pain and heartache!
Bosch
“but your sexuality is really only relevant to you as well as the person you’re sleeping with”
If I want to hold my partner’s hand out in public, I’m going to do so. That is just as much “coming out” as making an announcement. It’s not about asking society’s permission, it’s about being yourself regardless of the consequences.
Cam
@GlobeTrotter
Swseetie, you’ve tried this same line under all of your screenames. All with the same goal, to try to make the closet acceptable.
We get it, if people stay in the closet, the right wing bigots can keep attacking LGBTQ people.
Nice try, but as always, your troll game is sad and weak.
Neoprene
CAM – 2
DarkZephyr
GlobeTrotter,
“Who cares”? Did you not actually read the article? An unprovoked mob apparently cared so much that this kid felt like he had to come out to get them off of his back.
As for coming out itself, we should all be able to do it in our OWN time at our OWN pace and only if WE want to. I imagine that is something that you and I can agree on.
That being said, I don’t know how staying it the closet would have changed your life, but for me, continuing to pretend to be something I wasn’t was miserable. Unfortunately we have not reached a place yet (and we certainly hadn’t back then) where none of us has to pretend to be something we aren’t for the sake of our own well being. The closet is a miserable place to be for most LGBT people. I know it was for me. Coming out made my life a lot better. But I certainly waited til I was over 18 to do it.
smittoons
Your sexuality is relevant when it comes to marriage, adoption and discrimination laws. It’s all well and good to say people should mind their own business and let you be you, it try doing that in a country where being LGBT+ is illegal. Hell, there are parts of the US where you basically have to hide and can’t display any behaviors in public that straight people take for granted. So any hoopla over a young actor coming out after being bullied has relevance to the microcosm of plenty of people’s daily struggles.
GlobeTrotter
@Cam: A tip, you might be suffering from PPD, look it up! Then seek help!
@Bosch: You’ve managed to completely misrepresent what I said. If you feel like holding your partner’s hand in public, that’s an issue solely between you and your partner that has nothing to do with society. No one should care or even have the right to be bothered by it. I also wouldn’t support the idea of “being yourself REGARDLESS of the consequences”. I can’t be myself if I’m no longer alive.
@DarkZephyr: I do not support any doctrine that teaches “coming out” as a prerequisite for self-fulfillment, period! This is a harmful theory as it encourages individuals to look outside themselves for validation. It teaches them that their happiness and sense of well-being is subject to the approval or acknowledgement of third parties, the failure to obtain which is enough to send the young and impressionable spiraling into depression. What I’ve described in my post above goes against the prevailing, feel-good, pop-psychology, self-esteem movement, which has only brought mental health great damage to this last generation. And for the record I’ve never advocated that anyone “stay in the closet”, just as I don’t advocate that anyone “come out of it”. Just be yourself! Don’t allow society to pigeon-hole you into their “closets” from which you eventually have to “come out” of. Don’t allow anyone to categorize you into a sexuality, a gender, a pronoun or any other nonsense that only limits your freedom to be who you want to be and live the life you want to live. No need to pretend, no need to feel ashamed, no need to justify, no need to explain. The only closet is the one that exists in your mind. Live your life, pursue your own happiness and harm no third parties in the process. Ignore close-minded and jealous individuals, while avoiding those that would do you harm. But you owe NO ONE an explanation for how you choose to live your life! THIS is what we need to be teaching kids, not when and how they should be coming out of the “closet” or what gender or sexual identities they have to be identifying with. It’s WRONG to impose our own ideas of sex, gender, religion and all that nonsense onto kids. Show them all that the world has to offer and allow them to choose for themselves!
Kangol2
Wow, @GlobeTrotter, you actually typed this garbage at a time of increasing societal backlash against LGBTQ people, and show you lack any sense of irony at doing so. Given the GQP’s “Don’t Say Gay” laws, the attempts to ban (and even burn) books by LGBTQ people, the repeated attacks to link drag performers and gay people in general to pedophilia, the religious attacks on LGBTQ, the RepubliQanon’s talk abut rescinding same-sex marriage, the violence against LGBTQ all over the globe, etc., you actually typed your comment!
Why not leave your comfortable, privileged little bubble and try, just for a minute, to imagine what millions of LGBTQ people, particularly gay and trans youth in the US and elsewhere, are going through. Then, just then, you might understand why people come out and need to keep doing so and that is’ NOT just between you and the person you’re “sleeping with.” Just so you know, you don’t need to sleep with ANYBODY to be LGBTQ! It’s who you are inside and if you don’t grasp that in 2022, you might want to do a bit of remedial study. And if you cannot empathize with what other LGBTQ are facing, then stay “tired,” in your little bubble, and the rest of us will keep fighting for your right to be bored and whatever else you are. Or just trot around the globe and you’ll see, coming out is still a big deal!
LumpyPillows
Cam is an example of someone who can be either a troll or someone who is just disagreeable. Depends on his posts. First response here – reasonable. Second response – troll.
Bosch
@globe
“If you feel like holding your partner’s hand in public, that’s an issue solely between you and your partner”
But you can’t really do that if you’re “in the closet”. Being in the closet is buckling for society’s approval. Coming out is giving the homophobes the middle finger.
ZzBomb
HIs first mistake was ever being on Twitter to begin with.
RIGay
Yup. No one ever seems to learn that lesson.
Cam
Let’s also spare a moment to talk about why an 18 year old WOULD be afraid to come out. Because of the bigotry and hatred pushed by the right wing.
Neoprene
Kid gets accused of queerbating then storms off Twitlandia. Comes back and says I’m bi (aka “See, take THAT, I WASN’T queerbating and this proves it! And how horrible all you people are for MAKING ME come out.”) And Cammie and the other drama girrrls buy it. Too funny, Cammie.
Jon in Canada
@Cam
Not just bigotry and hatred, but the very real rise in fascism across the globe. Italy just elected an actual fascist who sees queers as disposable. The US, should the polling hold, seems poised to go in the same direction. We’ve seen this story before and it resulted in hundreds of thousands of dead queer people in camps. It’s not hyperbole when it’s actually happening. Scum like Neoprene would no doubt celebrate the killing of our people, they can barely contain their disdain as it is.
DuMaurier
True; and obviously. I hadn’t heard of any of this till his outing himself popped up on my Twitter feed; but from the reactions to that, and the comments about the “queerbaiting” harassment that was apparently going on, that take doesn’t sound like that’s what was going on. Meaning, that he was “afraid” to come out for the reasons you and I have long been familiar with: losing a job, family reaction, fear of hostility up to and including violence. The issue seems to be something I (at my advanced age) can’t really relate to; simply, that no one owes anyone else information about this kind of private matter, and it’s bullying to expect any kind of explanation or revelation–and that refusing to come out/forward doesn’t have to depend on any justification or rationale (again, such as negative consequences)
That is a bit (or a lot) different from assumptions and attitudes I’ve seen in the past and at least partly shared: that a queer person in a position of privilege and as a public figure–and who isn’t vulnerable to terrible consequences–has a kind of moral responsibility to be publicly “honest”; to be a role model, break down barriers, etc etc. The people being supportive of Connor seem to be directly rejecting that, and going back to: It’s a personal choice that doesn’t have to be justified and shouldn’t be judged in any circumstances.
What’s really weird/interesting to me is that a lot of them are tying this to the idea that queer roles should be played by queer actors–and rejecting THAT because the requirement essentially amounts to outing people against their will (i.e., to be acceptable playing a gay or bi role the actor must first assure us that he or she IS gay, bi, etc) This is looking like a generational shift in attitudes to me, one I didn’t even know was taking place.
Res1
His first mistake was taking the role. He knew the times we live in prior to taking the role. He knew questions about his sexuality would be brought up as long as the series went on, especially because straight actors playing gay is a topic right now. If one is closeted, why would they take such a role knowing they have to kiss boys and do press interviews about gay/bi subject matters? Seems like the kid just wanted a job and didn’t think about much else.
GlobeTrotter
Well, let’s spare a thought for all the young, talented but struggling actors out there who are just thankful to get their first big break. They might not have a choice over which role to play, or the character’s sexuality, etc. They’re probably just grateful to land a PAYING job, period!
DarkZephyr
@GlobeTrotter, we can at least agree on this.
Jon in Canada
Ah yes, victim blaming.
LumpyPillows
His only mistake was not ignoring the comments.
Donston
No one, especially a 19 year old, should feel forced to publicly “come out”. What those lames on Twitter did was not cute. But it’s also apparent that the people badgering him are mostly hella young and a bit too invested in both fictional characters and public figures’ personal lives. I do feel that if you’re a closeted queer, dealing with questioning or fluidity and don’t like speaking on your queerness, are incredibly uncomfortable with speaking on the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, commitment spectrum- you should probably avoid taking overtly queer roles. That helps you avoid situations like this. But that doesn’t excuse the badgering and trying to shame someone “out”.
Cam
Or maybe if more people in positions of fame came out, it wouldn’t be so terrifying for an adult to come out.
Donston
Those “people with fame” are also… people. Just like “regular people” many of them want privacy. Just like “regular people” many struggle to be publicly out. Many struggle with internalized phobias or queer insecurities or gay resentments or mental health issues. Many contend with fluidity, contradictions, questioning, trying to understand their place in the gender, sexual, affection, romantic, emotion, relationship, commitment spectrum. Being famous doesn’t suddenly mean you don’t deal with what so many others deal with and it doesn’t mean you want to tell people your life or inner workings
Bosch
You’re both right. Closeted celebrities don’t help us, but this guy is still quite young in the grand scheme of things. Practically still a child. Coming out in your environment can be a challenge, but coming out to the whole world is a different ballpark.
There are plenty of older celebrities who have more influence, and could make a much bigger mark on society, if they would come out and support us. We’ve all seen the pictures, John. You’re not fooling anyone.
Raphael
What a drama queen… Nobody forced him to do anything! People will comment on his life, the same way they do with ALL celebrities, it’s normal. If he doesn’t like it, he can go back to anonymity. And as for Alice… Wake up, honey! The producers didn’t give you the show out of the goodness of their hearts. They want people talking and speculating, about the show, the characters, the actors…
Jon in Canada
I suppose you’re one of those morons who thinks a woman’s asking for it when she dresses a certain way, right? After all, she must have wanted the attention.
It’s amazing to me how people can blame someone being bullied and pretend they’re being erudite as opposed to what they really are, maliciously cruel.
Bosch
We need to stop accusing apparant allies of “queerbaiting”. Queerbaiting is something homophobes do.
If someone is marketing themselves to us, but then supporting anti-lgbt politicians and charities, then they are queerbaiting.
People who celebrate gay culture in the media are lifting us out of the mess caused by the Hays Code. We need to appreciate that we live in a time when this is possible.
smittoons
The term does get overused. Teasing LGBT fans of shows with possibilities and then reneging on that is a valid thing to criticize, but it should be more on par with doing the same thing for any sexuality. Queerbaiting strikes me as being a harsher thing than what say, Nick Jonas did, or Doctor Who, and certainly Kit Connor – a kid kept his private life private and people descended on him even before he turned 18 for possibly not being there same sexuality as his character. It flies in the face of what the books and show are about and the entire acting profession too, not to mention basic decency.
Jake123
There are literally people on this site who support behaviour that is not dissimilar to what happened to Kit. Requiring that gay men play gay parts etc. Well this is what happens, someone who’s just out of childhood has had a very important and not to be rushed process snatched from them and has been hurt. Let people live their lives for gods sake.
Cam
Hey there right wing troll, I see you’ve brought out a fairly old screename to try to troll. What’s adorable is that, as you do under your other screenames, you’re not only desperate for people to stay in the closet, but you’re also here crying that occasionally, an LGBTQ role goes to an LGBTQ actor.
Your trolling is sad and weak.
Neoprene
CAM – 1
Jake123
@Cam Im sorry you are literally comical. What about my comment is Right wing? Are you literally well ?
Like Queerty are there literally any mods here at all? Cam targets people who are obviously not Right-wing and is allowed to. Like seriously he is driving people away from your site at this stage.
Selverd
@Jake123 yeah it’s almost a joke with how Cam is always accusing every other user with a different opinion of being the same right-wing troll, like there would really be someone creating 50 different usernames to troll a gay entertainment clickbait blog.
@Cam It’s not about being desperate for people to stay in the closet, it’s about a kid feeling forced to come out because fans were attacking him and trying to get him fired from his role of a queer character after he was spotted holding hands with a girl.
DarkZephyr
Jake123 you overuse the word “literally”. You also kind of misuse it.
“Are you literally well?” is a weird question.
Jake123
@DarkZephyr it’s my old Right wing schooling coming back to haunt me lol. I’m literally Irish our use of the English language is…. different, as Ive been told by many.
smittoons
Telling people to stay in their lane when it comes to sexuality is going to be debated for ages, but I really think it flies in the face of what acting is. I want more LGBT+ actors to be discovered and hired for all roles and considered for roles that align with their life experiences so they get chances to succeed. But I’ve never considered this as something straight actors should be barred from. It’s just not the same as appropriation of race and culture to me, and it requires great empathy and sensitivity from the performer and other creatives anyway.
LumpyPillows
Jake has a valid point.
GrantS
This guy is just so full of himself. The press about his boring, infantile, so-already-done show has gone to his head. If the point of the show was not to feel good about being yourself and happy to be honest about it, then I guess I DID miss the point.
RyanMBecker
I can’t help but think of Shawn Mendes. Some of you have savagely accused him of queerbaiting — as if he was homophobic for not coming out (if he is indeed gay). In truth, he is very gay-positive. When Mendes was on [openly-gay] Elvis Duran’s very popular radio show, he discussed wanting to audition for Love, Simon but it interfered with his tour. And he’s said other gay-supportive comments. But because of queerbaiting accusations (or that he’s closeted), Mendes has decided to not mention gays at all. In other words, you’ve lost a potential “influencer” for gay rights.
When the accusations of being closeted became intense, he released a powerful statement that I’ve never heard before. He said that his accusers “were lucky” that he wasn’t gay. Because if he was indeed closeted, they’d be guilty of trying to out someone who was not yet ready to come out. In other words, they were adding misery to an already miserable situation. How then would you feel if he was driven to suicide because of your unrelenting pressure? It has happened before.
Mendes is right. You guys should think about the effects it has on someone — regardless if they’re straight or gay — before pressuring them to come out, or accusing then of queerbaiting.
RyanMBecker
You guys need to stop using “queerbaiting,” when you really mean, “queer exploitation.”
Sharpei
Feel bad for him tbh Twitter is a garbage heap of a website. I hope at some point he is able to be proud of his identity, because under thee current circumstances I can’t imagine him feeling much “pride” within this community
jthomasmpls
One thing I think has been missed in the article and the comments is how difficult it is to come out as bisexual, especially for bisexual men.
LumpyPillows
I think Kit is super duper. That is all I have to say on the lad.
RyanMBecker
Love his Tweet. I too have been accused of “queerbaiting” because of my knowledge of gay culture/history and participation in the community. Is that how you guys treat your allies? In the past, when I didn’t discuss my own sexuality, I was accused of queerbaiting. The insults were especially cruel from guys who wanted to hook up, even though I have never ever shown any such interest. So I reject them gently in private email, saying I’m straight. The usual response was either that I’m a queerbaiter or a deeply-closeted liar. So I now mention my girlfriend (when relevant). But then the response is sometimes that I’m flaunting my heterosexuality. Or that I’m overcompensating because I’m so deeply-closeted. Or worst, that I need to leave because I’m invading your space.
It’s as if my innate immutable sexual orientation matters more than my pro-gay opinions and deeds. Really? That’s pretty much what you’re saying when you accuse others of queerbaiting. Why not just enjoy the fact that someone likes and participates in gay culture, regardless of their sexual orientation?
Just get rid of the concept of queerbaiting. NOW!
PS – I guess the fact that I get paid to watch/ANALyze gay porn doesn’t help, huh? I’ve watched over 5000 gay porn videos, from the 1960s to now. All Sean Cody and Corbin Fisher videos up through 2020. My latest project is the depiction or allusion of COVID in gay porn. Oh yeah, then there was also my Chaturbate page. And two gay porn stars had contacted me for career advice, e.g. Quinn, ex-Corbin Fisher (believe it or not, he wanted to go into the Sciences). Okay, I guess I’m a queerbaiter… heh.
seven5tx
I don’t understand why a ‘celebrity” has any obligation to the public at all. I never appointed Rosie O’Donnell my spokesperson but there she was. I feel bad for the guy.
Does this mean Tom Hanks has to give back his Oscar?
cuteguy
Kit Connor is gorgeous, inside and out. His coming out will save lives. But I feel for him for his forced coming out. I hope he becomes a superstar
bigrawtop
The sex/love life of actors playing romantic roles has always and will always be media fodder. If you don’t want people to talk about it, then don’t take the roles, don’t go public. Which is why we should cast out actors and stop encouraging the closet.