rainbow sprinkles

Homophobic Senator’s Ice Cream Party is About to get Super-Gay

New York State Senator Martin Golden like two things: stopping gays from getting married, and stuffing his constituents’ faces with ice cream.

Golden’s stood in the way of weddings for years, but he stepped up his anti-gay attacks last month with a bill that would all him to void any out-of-state marriage he doesn’t like, i.e., the homosexual gay ones.

So what does that have to do with ice cream? Well, not very much, except that he’s holding an ice cream eating contest this weekend (it’s an annual fundraiser) and one gay is calling for a protest.

Local blogger, contributor to Yacht Vacations and Pampered Puppy, and man-about-town Scott Rose has been applying fierce pressure to the ice cream sponsors. It must be working: last week Ben & Jerry’s pulled their affiliation, and another ice cream company demanded that Golden cease using their name in promoting the event.

Now, Rose’s new plan is to infiltrate the contest. He directs his followers:

Without mentioning that you support LGBT-equality, sign up for the competition, by calling Maria the Ice Cream Girl at 917-578-6374, or Senator Golden at 718-238-6044. But then, when you go to the event, wear a MARRIAGE EQUALITY T-SHIRT, or buttons, or some similar LGBT-equality-affirming garments or accessories. You could wear a Marriage Equality t-shirt under a button down shirt, and then flash the EQUALITY t-shirt after you win the competition!

Yeah, that’ll show ’em! Somebody call Cazwell, he can provide musical accompaniment. And also, erotic jiggling.

In all seriousness, it would be kind of nice if a gay couple won the contest and used it as an opportunity to take Golden aside and be all, “dude, wtf.”