How Does Mason Wyler Get Such Clear Skin?

I live in Cinco Ranch, a master-planned community in the West Houston suburb of Katy, TX. My name is Mason Wyler. I’m 26 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower, I use a water activated gel cleanser. Then a honey almond body scrub. And on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then apply an herb mint facial mask, which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an aftershave lotion with little or no alcohol because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Mason Wyler, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real Mason Wyler. Only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, Mason Wyler is simply not there.

—Mason Wyler, the newly out HIV-porn star who claims “I don’t need someone to talk to, I need someone to fuck me!,” apparently mixing skin care regimens and existential monologues [via NSFW]