This profile is part of Queerty’s 2023 Out For Good series, recognizing public figures who’ve had the courage to come out and make a difference in the past year.
Name: Bretman Rock Sacayanan Laforga, 25
Bio: This fiery and outspoken Filipino-American content creator, beauty guru, and social media personality was born in an Ilocano family in the Philippines before moving to Hawaii at seven years old. With a name inspired by his father’s favorite pro wrestlers –– Bret Hart and The Rock –– it’s no surprise Bretman grew up playing nearly every sport. (“[You name it] b*tch, I did it,” he said.)
One of three children, his mom worked hard to support the family and Bretman found escapism amongst Y2K reality TV shows like The Simple Life and burgeoning platforms like Vine and YouTube.
Everything took off once he began creating his own videos and memes, later shifting to vlogs and beauty content. When his 2015 video “How to Contour” went viral, Rock went from average high schooler on the internet, to social media celebrity.
After getting signed by a management company, the world was his oyster. With an adorable family, an infectious (and at times, unhinged) personality, and incredible makeup skills, Bretman was soon recognized by Time and Forbes, and made his New York Fashion Week debut in 2019.
His authentic (and occasionally explicit) online presence scored him a role in the YouTube Premium web series Escape the Night, his own MTV reality show MTV Following: Bretman Rock, and more recently, an online jungle survival series 30 Days with: Bretman Rock. (How does he look so fierce on a ten-mile trek?!)
Bretman remains close to his island roots, having released Hawaiian-inspired makeup palettes with Morphe and wet n wild, and even his own sunglass line.
After becoming the first-ever gay person to cover Playboy in 2021, Bretman reflected on his expansive career in his debut memoir You’re That B*tch & Other Cute Lessons About Being Unapologetically Yourself in 2023.
As of this writing, Bretman boasts a following of 18 million and 15.8 million on Instagram and TikTok, respectively, as well as 8.85 million YouTube subscribers.
Coming Out: As far as sexual orientation goes, Rock has been openly gay since his humble beginnings on the internet.
He grew up with an encouraging (and knowing) family, telling Teen Vogue in 2021 that he never needed to come out to his parents. “They always knew I was gay,” he said. “My family has always supported me.”
Still, Bretman had a coming out moment in February 2023 when he revealed to the Zach Sang Show that he identifies as non-binary and uses all pronouns.
@zachsangshow @bretmanrock is nonbinary but not for clout #bretmanrock #nonbinary #pronouns #clout #zachsangshow #zachsang #fyp #foryou @onamp ♬ original sound – Zach Sang Show
“I don’t go strictly by they/them,” Rock explained. “I go by all of [the pronouns], because I also am non-binary … this is the one [thing] that I’m not for clout about.”
Rock’s relationship with gender identity goes deeper than a penchant for bucking fashion norms or makeup, too. In his native language Ilocano, he explained to Sang that “we don’t really have a ‘he’ or ‘she.'”
“When I was a kid, my grandma would always introduce me to all her friends … like, ‘This is my handsome and beautiful grandson,'” Rock said. “So she would always, like, associate me with both feminine and masculine words. So I feel like I’ve always been non-binary, to be honest.”
Even before opening up about their own gender identity, Bretman has always been supportive of the spectrums of expression within the LGBTQ+ family.
On his show MTV Following: Bretman Rock, he threw a surprise drag/gender reveal party for his cousin Keiffer (known to followers as Miss Kay), who was beginning to understand her gender identity through drag.
“She definitely makes me feel beautiful, so I think it’s my turn to make her feel more beautiful,” Rock explained in the episode.
Furthermore, Rock’s passion for fashion and style journey helped them own their non-binary identity.
“Every aspect of vanity helped me find my gender expression,” Rock told E! News. “I owe so much of my identity to makeup, fashion, and hair.”
The recent debut of those luscious locks also helped. “Ever since I started growing out my hair, I’m like, ‘Oh my god, I’m more Bretman Rock than I ever felt my entire life,'” he explained.
And despite what their millions of followers might assume, that authenticity and confidence was hard-won.
“Being that b*tch is definitely a state of mind,” Bretman said. “And it’s not really who I am 24/7. But be patient with your life and with yourself. Sometimes it takes a while to get into that state of mind and you also have to enjoy the process.”
dbmcvey
So striking! Really beautiful!
Ronbo
I respect the right of every person to express their own identity. As a gay man I am attracted to the expression of masculinity – not femineity. Love is love but… my feelings are mine alone.
Unkind people will attack; good people will understand that the heart wants what the heart wants. “Live and let live” is a motto that will help both the extreme left and extreme right. Censorship of love is wrong.
ShaverC
They never celebrate masculinity, which is strange because I thought gay men were attracted to men.
dbmcvey
Oh please, every one of the tiktok or instagram posts are celebrations of masculinity. Every time they feature an athlete it’s a celebration of masculinity. It’s just that conservatives are triggered by people like this beautiful person.
ShaverC
dbmcvey, He’s a “content producer” = narcissist.
Ronbo
dbmcvey actually thinks masculinity includes: women, dresses, lace, painted faces, boobs, and hairy brows!?! db must be a brow man AND that is his choice (not mine).
If this is db’s version of masculinity, I’d love to understand his childhood.
decrans
You can sign up Dickvaney for ex-gay therapy with me. It’s amusing watching the far-left unwittingly accept conversion therapy. I get some laughs from it. We can share a boob together, Dave.
Diplomat
“I don’t go strictly by they/them,” Rock explained. “I go by all of [the pronouns], because I also am non-binary … this is the one [thing] that I’m not for clout about.”
Amazing. An NB with beauty AND common sense. Lovely to find one with a well wired brain. He’s gorgeous.
Yidan
Wow! Love their looks!
Stefano
For my part, I have no problem with its look. A little too much make-up in my opinion, but that’s a matter of taste. He’s lucky to be handsome, good for him. What’s the problem again?
FreddieW
Long hair looks good on a man, and I respect any male who can tolerate growing it out. But sorry, the female clothing ruins it for me. But yes, he’s got good looks.
inbama
Extremely effeminate men have trouble attracting other gay men.
I remember a bar owner on New York’s Upper West Side (back in the 70s) who showed up one night in full drag and started telling me about his plans to “get the surgery” as he called it.
“These people aren’t interested in me,” he said pointing to his clientele seated at the bar, “but I can go to a straight Irish pub in midtown, lay my tits on the counter, and they’re all buying me drinks.”
I wonder if he’s still alive. He had a little dog who, like him, was an alcoholic.
Baron Wiseman
As an androphile (sexual attraction to men and/or masculinity) I prefer men. Masculine men.
Stefano
If that’s what you prefer, all the better! As far as I’m concerned, I have no problem with effeminate guys. In fact, I have no preference at all. I just adapt. I’m quite masculine and if I don’t mention that I’m gay, I don’t get any remarks. I’ve never been called a fag. Maybe it’s because I’m rather ugly? I don’t know… in my opinion, it’s all a question of respecting yourself and others. Whats the problem again?
Baron Wiseman
@Stefano
“What’s the problem again?”
Good question, Stefano.
First of all, if that picture is you on your post you are certainly not “rather ugly.”
I suppose the issue is, we are inundated with feminine representations of LGBT in both the gay and straight press. There seems to be an imbalance of representation. As a lover of men and things masculine, I just wish there was a more balanced presentation of gay men who love men.
(I know, I know…first world problems.)
Stefano
I understand your frustrations with what you see as the under-representation of masculine gay men in the media. Personally, I’m not sure that’s the case. Take Queerty for example…it seems to me that there are a lot of articles and photos of very sexy, masculine gay men. I think an effort is made to represent all the variety of styles…although I sometimes find that less handsome people are mostly used as stooges…but that’s another story.
You can see that many of Queerty’s regular commenters hate you, and they’ve already put you in the “enemies” section. Personally, I don’t see you that way at all. You’re a principled person (what’s that, eh?) and you stand up for your principles. I don’t see anything wrong with that. You like to provoke, don’t you? I’m not saying this unkindly, I must admit that I like to tickle Americans too, they get offended easily and their reactions are sometimes funny. So yes, I take 100% responsibility for the fact that I can be annoying and stupid at times.
I rarely go back to “follow up” on my comments. I don’t care what other people think. I’ve never been a conventional gay man and I’ve never followed fashion. I do what I feel like doing. I love hunting, fishing, outdoor activities and I love my home. I’m not even on Grindr (or anything else). I’ve had a profile many years ago and I’ve never met anyone. It’s far too complicated. Since I don’t go to the gym, I don’t have beautiful abs (even if my stomach is flat), I’m not at all attractive. In the end, I prefer to be alone. Exceptionally today I’m commenting a bit more because I’ve taken time off (which I rarely do). Take care.
ShaverC
Stefano, To me that’s the problem with this site. They glorify feminine men but when it comes to picking out, what they think of as sexy men, they’re mostly ripped and white. We don’t need to be called bad men for preferring masculine men, it’s very hypocritical.
dbmcvey
@Stefano
Thank you! It’s great to hear from a real person who isn’t all freaked out!
Baron Wiseman
@Stefano
Thank you for your thoughtful post, Stefano.
First of all, I can’t believe you wrote, “I’m not at all attractive.” I’m not sure if I believe you. You are one of the very few who have a profile picture on your account. I actually find you rather cute.
Yes, I suppose I’m not the most popular on this site. The importance of popularity for me ended in high school. Glad to see you enjoy activities outside of popular gay culture. You seem like a very pleasant and fun person.
Stefano
@ShaverC : Seen from this angle, it may indeed seem hypocritical, but unfortunately people aren’t always consistent. I’ve often found that gays repeat the same biases as those who persecuted them when they were young. It’s not for nothing that there are quite a few who don’t frequent any gay venues or events…when you find yourself among your own kind and you’re still getting beaten over the head because you’re not enough like this or not enough like that, you quickly understand that you’d better look elsewhere! Lol
monty clift
A while back, he said he stopped doing the makeup stuff and denounced the beauty community, but when his fans started complaining about it, he got all defensive. It looks like he wants to be more masculine presenting, but that’s not where his money lies.
ShaverC
There’s the rub. Integrity or money?
Stefano
In other words…show me where the money is? Not surprised by that. That’s all “influencers” want – money from the idiots who follow them.
Stefano
@Baron : Thanks for the compliment. I take it with pleasure. It’s rare that people do it on Queerty. They complain and criticize constantly. I wonder what’s the point of us all head-butting and insulting each other like that?