Put away your reusable iced coffee straw and pick up that reusable hot coffee cozy: It’s officially Pumpkin Spice Season.
(Or maybe just keep those straws on hand: The weather is still warm, and iced pumpkin spice lattes are a thing.)
Starbucks trotted out its PSLs on August 24 this year, nearly a month before the start of autumn. In fact, 2023 is tied for first in an Axios ranking of Starbucks’ earliest PSL debuts of the last 10 years. And Dunkin’ Donuts, Krispy Kreme, 7-Eleven, and Bath & Body Works put out pumpkin spice products even earlier this year.
Axios also reports that pumpkin fever is only growing, with consumers spending $802.5 million on pumpkin products in the 52-week period ending on July 29, compared to the $563.6 million in the same time period in 2019.
What kind of sorcery is this?
Of course, it’s well documented that pumpkin spice products are quite literally popping with gay consumers: MEL Magazine covered the introduction of pumpkin spice poppers in 2019. (“It smells like someone opened a bottle of poppers in a Bath & Body Works, or like a pumpkin pie was brought to the Eagle,” one consumer told the magazine. Another added, “PSL poppers are like sniffing a scented fall candle that makes you horny.”)
In fact, pumpkin spice lattes are so gay that some straight men feel insecure even ordering them, as Vice reported in 2017. (Sending them our thoughts and prayers.)
And if you, dear reader, have any hangups about proudly proclaiming a passion for all things pumpkin-flavored, don’t forget the Queerty survey that showed that PSL drinkers have more sex.
Or just check out these tweets about the gays and their pumpkin spice.