Jake Gyllenhaal Spends Night In Cave With Bear, Emerges Smiling


Set your DVR for the July 11 season premiere of Man vs Wild as host/tough-guy-who-sometimes-drinks-his-own-urine-from-a-snake-carcass Bear Grylls chaperones beard-sporter/brief-dater-of-Taylor-Swift Jake Gyllenhaal on a tour of Iceland. But instead of kicking back with a hot mug of cocoa in the cozy sound booth as Sigur Ros and Bjork lay down tracks, or even bothering to challenge that country’s most famous musical exports to contests involving feats of strength (which, come to think of it, given past evidence of people who step to Bjork thinking they’re dealing with an adorable Christmas pixie, they could well lose) the man-duo chose instead the ruggeder activities of Iceland, such as active-volcano-exploring, frolicking in ice-cold rivers and bedding down together for warmth in snowy caves.

Yes, okay, it’s too easy to make dumb homo-adjacent jokes about Gyllenhaal. This is a pro-Jake operation and snickering about him is a game of gay T-Ball only fit for the Country Music Awards. Apologies. This is going to be awesome television.

Wait, just one more. Reports Bear on his guest’s appetite for manly adventures: “[Gyllenhaal] said he wanted to be pushed and afterwards he said he’d never been pushed so hard.”



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  • Matt

    Beard-sporter and beards “dating” Jake Gyllenhaal.

  • RJM

    JG roughing it in Iceland with another guy? Wouldn’t miss this one for the world…

  • Atlas

    That would be the hottest porno ever made.

  • fredo777

    What are claims that Jake G. is actually gay + “sports beards” based on, aside from our collective desire to have an attractive celebrity who has played gay on-screen play for our team in real life? If this is just a long-running gag with no basis in fact, it needs to be retired.

  • 2+2 Chan

    I can’t wait for the memebase crowd gets a hold of this.

  • Owen

    @fredo777: When Brokeback Mountain was coming out a semi-respected blogger at made references to a male celebrity only known as Toothy Tile who was about to come out as bisexual in Time magazine in conjunction with a “gay themed film” Toothy was staring in. Later this blogger began running stories how this bisexual star “chickened out” because of his management’s concerns, later saying Toothy began acting out by being seen making out in gay area restaurants and having outdoor sex with his male lover. It was soon deduced that said lover could possibly be “John From Cincinnati” star Austin Nichols. He and Jake were apparently good friends, and admittedly, there are very sweet pictures of Jake looking at Nichols with an adoration that might indicate the stories might be true. Jake seems like such a straight-up dude (no pun intended) that I would hate to think all his Taylor-dating is a ruse. But it was never said he was gay, really. The rumors are of bisexuality.

  • fredo777

    @Owen: Yeah, I get all of that, but I just don’t feel like we’ve seen enough to (with near certainty) assign the man a sexual orientation that he doesn’t identify as. That’s not to say that I don’t believe some of the hollywood closet case rumors for certain celebs are based in truth. For some reason, though, this just doesn’t sit well with me.

  • Kieran

    Why should it matter whether Jake (or Bear for that matter) is gay or not? I understand that sexual orientation continues to matter in many quarters, particularly among young female movie-goers, but why should it matter here of all places? The answer is his sexual orientation doesn’t matter and it shouldn’t matter and that’s the kind of universal attitude we should be looking to instill in the culture.

  • dan4

    I’m with Atlas: That would be the best porn EVER! Even if it was just them snuggling in that snow cave.

  • Mr. Enemabag Jones

    @2+2 Chan:

    “Spending the night in a cave with Jake G. Better drink my own piss–filtered through Jake’s kidneys.”

  • Matt

    “What are claims that Jake G. is actually gay + “sports beards” based on, aside from our collective desire to have an attractive celebrity who has played gay on-screen play for our team in real life? ”

    You are typical stupid fangirl.

    Stupid and ignorant enough to buy Jake’s showmances with Reese Witherspoon and Taylor Swift as real relationships.

  • Matt

    “why should it matter here of all places?”

    Do you support closeted celebrities who engage in homophobic behaviour like bearding?

  • fredo777

    @Matt: “You are typical stupid fangirl.”

    And you are an utter douchebag. If you bothered to read my full comments, you’d realize that I’m neither a fanBOY or buying into showmances;I just don’t accept persistently whispered rumors of a person’s sexual orientation as fact. If you do, it is you who is stupid/ignorant enough to believe whatever you hear.

  • sara

    @Owen: Semi-respected blogger at Eonline??? Are you kidding me? Ted Casablancas is a POS and has been running these “blind vices” about fictional stars who closely resemble real-life stars for years. He gets his hits to his site and you buy his lies. Who cares who’s gay/bi/trans, whatever. Insinuation and back-handed comments do not truth make.

Comments are closed.