“Honestly, I didn’t realize it was going to be so telling. But I’ve had experiences with men, even while I was dating the woman who became my wife. It was like, ‘Wow, does that mean I am gay?’ And my wife laid it out for me. She calls it ‘two spirit,’ which is what the Native Americans call someone who can love both man and woman. I really like that.”Jason Mraz speaking to Billboard about his sexual experiences with men.
DCguy
Ugh, are we REALLY supposed to believe that the guy had NEVER heard the term “Bi” or “Bisexual” before?
It’s great that more and more people are coming out, but some of the P.R. releases are just eye roll inducing.
orrine
Considering that after hearing about gay experiences of celebrities so many people say “He’s gay!”, I guess, it’s common not to consider that bi people actually exist
Donston
It seems most people have come around to believing “bi” exist. It’s just that many still assume a male celebrity who’s willing to talk about gay experiences must be gay. The biggest hurdle remains getting people to push past identity and see orientation as a “spectrum” that most people fit on it, and that romantic, sexual and emotional are three seperate aspects and rates of orientation. A good deal of straight, hetero, gay, homo, bi, pan and even a decent amount of fluid/queer identifying people have a difficult time comprehending, embracing and being honest about that.
Texasholdem
He said I’m “bi your side”
DCguy
Oh, and also, maybe his wife should actually do a little research. “Two Spirit” as accepted by most of the tribal groups does not mean bisexaual, it tends to veer more into the transgender definitions…where somebody who is “Two Spirited” in a male body could participate in male activities, but would also wear women’s clothing and could participate in traditionally women only activities if they wanted.
Glad they are happy, glad he’s comfortable coming out, but these two seem like they’re trying a little too hard.
Kieran
Both excellent comments.
JungleBoi
She mis-characterized Two Spirit. Thank you, DCguy.
Donston
It’s cool that more people feel free to be honest about themselves. But this definitely comes off a bit phony considering he’s been nonchalantly talking about hooking up with dudes for a decade. So, I doubt he only recently had some kind of revelation or confrontation concerning his sexuality. I’m also getting annoyed with the amount of people who say that they can “love” anyone but have only had legitimate and longterm relationships with people from one gender. The only thing he’s ever said is that he hooks up with dudes sometimes, not that he’s ever loved one or has been in a relationship with one. Hooking up with dudes here and there or liking to get some male romantic and/or sexual attention on occasion is very different than having genuine passion, romantic love, fullfillment, contentment and/or the desire to commit to a certain kind of person.
Why can’t people just be real and straightforward about who they are and their struggles instead of always adding sentimentality, corny and vague phrases and pretentious descriptions on top of everything?
Josh447
Donston said:
“Why can’t people just be real and straightforward about who they are and their struggles instead of always adding sentimentality, corny and vague phrases and pretentious descriptions on top of everything?”
The real question might be; if you ever stopped complaining and accept people the way they are in their own moment, what in the world might you do with yourself? And how might your complaining life be different?
Donston
How about we just agree not to directly communicate with each other? Because just as you’re tried of my posts I’m also tried of your empty responses. At least offer a legit retort/critique.
No one has the right to tell people how they should come out, but this is a dude who’s been out for many years and seems to have zero interests in legitimately being with someone beyond the opposite cis gender. I’m just not understanding where this philosophizing and talk of love is coming from when he’s been out for a long time and has said he merely likes to hook up with dudes on occasion. I just ask for the things people say to actually add up.
From a social media and celebrity standpoint coming out/being “out” has started to become hampered by generalizations, sappiness, manipulation, cliches and attention whoring instead of it merely being about honestly saying who you are and what you want.
bjbalme
I am SO glad someone said this. Honestly sick and tired of hearing about men who like to screw other men but date and marry the opposite sick. Like they are suddenly these gay champions.
SeijnSei
It wont make his music suck any less.
gonzo1
This made me lol.
OrchidIslander
His signature song, “I’m yours” has over 405 million hits on youtube.
I’m sorry, how many hits on youtube does your signature song have?
frankcar1965
“I’m sorry, how many hits on youtube does your signature song have?”
Who gives a fock about the hits on youtube? You must be of that shallow FB, twitter whore generation obviously just by mentioning it. Is it any wonder we have a president who tweets utter and dangerous shat all the time? He comes by it honestly when all the other American idiots think that’s all that matters in the world. Oh, and that and what’s happening on The Batchelor and Big Brother. Americans are focking imbeciles.
Mister Dawson
I appreciate anyone in the public eye who admits to having same sex feelings. I don’t feel the need to have to question his motives. Sex to me is just that. A relationship is entirely different. Personally I wonder without the restraint of being told and doctrinated into sex roles wouldn’t most people be more open sexually? If it makes you feel good why not! I remember reading about a nun who once said that God didn’t put it there if he didn’t want you to use it.
Donston
I still have some attraction towards females. I still masturbate to lesbian and trans porn on occasion. I had genuine affection and some version of love for the couple of women I dated. And I enjoyed playing with titties and pvssy sometimes. While my husband says he’s open to a threesome with a chick if I wanted it. However, I don’t feel the need to go down that route at this time. Nonetheless, I’m not about to pretend that I want to be with a female for real-for real again, that I have genuine romantic fullfillment towards females, emotional contentment with a female and substantial, persistent sexual passion towards females all so I can be fully embraced by the bi/pan/fluid club.
It would be nice to get to a place where people feel as if they can be honest without fearing being judged and without throwing wonky metaphors and schmaltz on top of everything. Jason is 40 something, a bit too old to still be talking like that.
Women are allowed to admit that they have some same-sex attractions or that they like hooking up with girls sometimes but that they ultimately want a man, can only be satisfied with a man and only have sustained romantic love and emotional contentment towards a man. They can admit these things without having to make such a big deal about it, fearing being judged and labeled by everyone and having everyone applaud them coming out. I simply wish guys were afforded that same thing. But instead, hetero-leaning dudes remain scared to be legit honest, while homo-leaning or trans-leaning men want desperately to hold on to a sense of heteronormalcy. And too many seek out attention and gratitude.
tham
I enjoy his music. And he’s cute in that “shaggy” kind of way…I’d hit that up if he gets divorced.
tjack47
I believe people are whom they tell me they are, unless proven otherwise. No one gets a vote in how he identifies. He is a gentleman.
Donston
I don’t see any posts here saying he can’t say he’s bi. That’s not what the article or any of the comments are reflecting. Also, you can’t “prove” anyone’s orientation. No one can determine what someone else’s attractions, desires, sexual fullfillment, romantic fullfillment, emotional contentment, etc. is and why someone has the sex and/or relationships that they do.
Loki
@Donston
Only he’s not saying he’s “bi”… his wife is telling him he’s “two-spirit” (incorrectly I might add). He’s purposely keeping it cryptic because he wants to maintain access to that delicious hetero-privilege. Notice he talks in terms of airy-fairy ideas about “love”… he’s not gonna spell it out… “I like to get schtupped in the arse by a big, burly man.”
OrchidIslander
Geeze, the guy was open and respectful about his male experiences. Didn’t hide them, or down play their importance. Then (horrors!) with an apparently open-minded spouse he came to the realization that he may have the capacity to LOVE members of both sexes. Yes, the word “love” was used. I fail to see why so much mud is being slung his way. Some gay men are fine as long as one walks in lock step with them. They are not so fine when one deviates (ironic) from the script prepared for you by them.
Donston
Or could he simply be trying to be politcally correct? Admitting that you simply like hooking up with different types of people sometimes or might have attractions beyond one gender has started to be seen as a bad thing as so many have gotten caught up in trying to prove they can love anyone and prove they are what they identify as. We hear these same phrases and declarations of being able to love anyone all the time. But it rarely comes into fruition. He still went ahead and married his wife and hasn’t had a real relationship with a dude and seems perfectly fine with his life. A lot of people (including gay-identifying people) use the word “love” but they simply mean attention, affection, sex or social comfort. And that’s okay.
We live in a society where people still downplay same-sex relationships, commitment and family and so many gay/homo-leaning/trans-leaning people still contend with a lot of self-resentment and tortured egos. While people who live mostly hetero lives don’t like to acknowledge their “hetero privilege”. And a lot of bi/fluid/pan/queer identifying people still see same-sex relationships and commitment as beneath them or mere dalliances. Yet, they often seem to want a cookie to simply acknowledging that they’re not 100% hetero.
Everyone has their own struggles and journies and orientations and sense of gender. I appreciate honesty, and I appreciate when people share their truth. But maybe I’m just too cynical and pragmatic. Hearing the same things regurgitated again and again with nothing substantial or truly personal backing them up just gets tiresome and starts to simply feel like feeding people easy lines. Misinterpreting some old Native American saying certainly doesn’t help either.
OrchidIslander
I think you’re making a lot of assumptions regarding someone elses words and intent. He used the word love. He could have said sexual experiences, sex or f**k among others to express carnality, but he didn’t. He used a much broader term, which encompasses more than. He’s a song writer. I might be going out on a limb here, but I’m sure that he is able to express and convey exactly what he meant. As far as him not having sex with a dude since he has been married, how could you possibly know that? Even if he said he hasn’t, you are totally unaware of what he has – or hasn’t done. Assumptions.
“But maybe I’m just too cynical and pragmatic.”
Maybe. Sort of seems more of the former.
“Misinterpreting some old Native American saying certainly doesn’t help either.”
I’ve heard the term “two spirit” as well. I was told that it had to do with individuals who were other than the two genders, OR who did not sufficiently conform to society’s norms regarding gender. The terms has been used to include gay folk. There are cases to be made for both interpretations and it doesn’t appear that one can safely bet the bank on the exclusivity of one over the other.
Misinterpreting or not, this guy does not give off a Miley Cyrus vibe. He didn’t clang bells and blow whistles with his pronouncement. It was a straight forward, open and rather positive statement.
Donston
People like to throw around the word “love” as if that’s automatically supposed to make everyone gushy, and it usually works. It’s too often used as a way to say something but not really say anything. Yet, later on many of these men who can “love” anyone just end up coming off as self-hating homo-leaning dudes or “mostly straight” guys who to hook up with dudes/feel different people’s “energy” sometimes or just megalomaniacs with “issues”. Being able to “love” anyone has become the new thing in queerdom and everyone seems to want to hop on the bandwagon.
Has he ever been in love with a man? Romantic love? He didn’t say. Has he ever been in a legit relationship with a dude? Does he have genuine sexual passion and/or sexual fullfillment towards men and women? What about struggles with self-understanding or self-resentment or internalized homophobia or depression or anxiety? What about struggles getting his family or friends to accept him? It seems like mostly only gay-identifying people (or people who mostly mostly “gay lives) are willing to get that deep and real, and that’s what frustrating.
No one needs to put all their business out there. But it seems too much of the language from the bi/fluid/pan perspective has become overwhelmed by cliches, gay shame, pretentiousness and saying things without really saying anything at all. While too often these men who are with women seem to come out simply so they can unabashedly indulge everything sexually, have little side affairs or simply for attention. And all of that is okay. But spare me all this constant conversation about love. I just want the bi/pan/fluid “movement” to go deeper and be more real. And I’d like “queerness” in general to get more real and stop being so driven by cliches and sap.
Curtispsf
I agree with what you have to say OrchidIslander. The mind is like a parachute; it only works when it’s open.
frankcar1965
It’s just a focking fad with all the celebreties coming out on the “spectrum”.
I get so focking irritated hearing that everyone is on the focking spectrum. I’m on the spectrum too, I just haven’t decided what spectrum that is. Check with me next week, maybe I’ll know then.
OrchidIslander
Sorry! One more:
Josh447 said:
“The real question might be; if you ever stopped complaining and accept people the way they are in their own moment……”
Yes!!!
Donston
I guess I’m not that type of person.
My annoyance isn’t even towards Mraz but rather a general frustration and disillusionment with the queer “movement” in general. Everyone gets so caught up in protecting themselves or their indentities or their image or their social standing that there’s a refusal to get real (even if it’s not politically correct or doesn’t advance agenda). Therefore, so much has been reduced to easy phrases and platitudes. It’s not really about Mraz at all. I harbor no resentment towards him. Just annoyed that so few are interested in changing or giving greater depth to the narrative.
jthomasmpls
It’s too bad that we live in a gotcha culture right now. The guy has come out as bisexual. It’s too bad some people don’t like they way he did it. It’s too bad bisexual men often don’t have a safe place to land when they come out. As a result many don’t.
frankcar1965
He never said he was bisexual, you are putting words in his mouth.
jthomasmpls
@Frankcar1965 I don’t think I’m putting words in his mouth. He acknowledges “hooking” up with guys while dating a woman, seems kinda bi to me. Is there another definition of bisexual?
crazyjay
His message at Pride also read “I’m bi your side”.
batesmotel
Two Spirit? Okay. Bisexual. Fine. All of these little labels from different groups to describe someone who is attracted to both genders. Regardless of the label, it’s not that big of a deal. Just wished I could’ve banged Jason Mraz before he got married. What a waste.
frankcar1965
Who cares if he’s married, I’d certainly do a married man, right in his married bed, doesn’t matter to me at all. If I don’t do it someone else will.
MonkeyMan
People in these comments need to chill: Celebrities aren’t going to come out exactly the way you want them to, use the exact words that don’t trigger your “phobia”-detector whenever they are interviewed.
Mraz actually admitted to being with men and obviously tried to keep the narrative around it very PG and romantic, which makes total sense if you know his image and his audience. What more do you want from him?
Kevan1
In certain Native American cultures two spirit was a reference to men who were most likely gay and had feminine qualities and mannerisms. These Two Spirit people did the same chores and activities as the female tribe members and were revered and seen as special creatures. They were men who dressed like women, cooked, wove, made pottery and other duties done by the women. Men who behaved in the more stereotypical male behaviors could also be homosexual. The church introduced the idea that this was sinful behavior. The term Bisexual does not mean Two Spirit.
nitejonboy
I’m pretty sure two spirit means gay…and your music sucks, but I’d do you anyway.
tennisteacher2
Some men still go out of their way to RATIONALIZE attraction to other men…Even in this day and age…AMAZING.
MaxTaste
I have no idea who this guy is or why I should care about him sleeping with men and women.
RobtheElder
It’s me, all right, with something that shouldn’t be news… I don’t believe in bisexuality! Everyone I’ve met who labeled themselves that way had plenty of reasons not to be labeled gay. Somehow they look at the bisexual label as an identifier without a sting. In their minds, it doesn’t have the same impact on what people think of them, on their careers. My reason for my attitude is I have never met a bisexual who didn’t have a preference. They all “prefer” certain methods of making love, and don’t like other methods. I try to always be true to myself, so I call myself “gay”. I have children that were conceived the biologic way without any surrogates, but I don’t and didn’t want to father children that way, but I did want children. I could certainly do it, but I couldn’t say the form that encouraged procreation was the way I wanted to have sex for the remainder of my life… RobtheElder
Kevan1
To RobtheElder
Just because you do not get it does not mean it does not exist.
Josh447
Yeah it’s time gay guys get off the “bi doesn’t exist” routine. It only galvanizes your ignorance.
frankcar1965
They all revert to being just plain ole gay in the long run. It’s just a transition in their mind.
Virpilosus
Two Spirit and bisexual seem to me to be two completely differing descriptors of two quite different realities in human experience.
Curtispsf
I’m probably one of the few, if there are any others, queer guys who has actually seen Jason Mraz in concert. And he rocked the crowd with a beautiful soaring voice and a gentle loving demeanor. And that’s ALL that matters to me. It would be cool to “claim” him as a member of our tribe, but I don’t feel any overwhelming need to do so, nor am I going to parse his every statement for evidence of his sexual preferences. Just let it be, people and get on with living YOUR lives. Really!
Josh447
Zactly.
RobtheElder
For Kevan1 and Josh447… You’re in a “pleasure palace” with a long hall of many doors. The doors are labeled “Gay”, “Bisexual”, “Lesbian” and “Straight”. You’ve paid the fare. Any one door is yours for the evening. Which one do you choose? You only had one non-refundable fare. You can’t see the room’s contents. The reputation of the place is however excellent, your choice is certain to be choice. Which room do you choose? Please don’t tell me you don’t care… You’re horny as hell. Which door do you choose? (I rest my case.) … RobtheElder
Kevan1
Easy RobtheElder. I am gay I choose the Gay room. But there are those who are attracted to both sexes based on more than just heir genitalia. They fall in love with the person not their equipment. The equipment is secondary. I have met these people and have seen them in successful relationships with one or the other sex. I know two people who have been in long term, 10 plus years, committed relationships with people of opposite and same sexes. Not because the made a mistake and realized later they were of one preference or another. Both people walked in to both relationships as Bisexual. Both peoples relationships ended because of reasons other than cheating or wanting to date another sex. I personally find I am only attracted to men.
RobtheElder
I forgot to say one thing to Kevan1 and Josh447… I never said that bisexuality doesn’t exist (as both of you did). I said I didn’t believe in it, which is a completely different premise. My premise is always true. I don’t believe in bisexuality, and I won’t. I’ve watched many who claim the label, and when they settle down to an eventual relationship (and they always do), they don’t choose another bisexual. There’s too much risk when bisexuals mate with other bisexuals. Considering that most people aren’t monogamous by nature just throws another variable into the mix. All depends on how much uncertainty you can live with. I’m very content, thanks… RobtheElder
frankcar1965
I agree, bisexual BEHAVIOR certainly exists, but bisexual people do not. What you do does make what is in the heart.
Kevan1
RobtheElder one of the relationships mentioned above were two bisexuals. I admit it seems to be a rare thing, but it does happen.
Kevan1
RobtheElder ” I never said that bisexuality doesn’t exist (as both of you did).” I never said that. I believe it does exist.
MatthewHall
gay men have sex. Straight men fall in love
crazyjay
I made an account on this site just so I can comment on how awful I feel some of the comments on this article are.
Set aside the comments about Jason’s identity, there are a lot of “mean-spirited” things said in general, which I find to be a little sad. I have seen a lot of identity erasure from members of the Queer community in the last year, particularly toward bi/pan folks, and I’m not sure what that is about. I’m kind of sick of it. I know it’s only a vocal minority of pious folks who I guess get some sort of a thrill out of being “more Queer” than others, but it sometimes makes me ashamed to be part of this community. “Gate keeping” and trying to control how people identify is kind of the opposite of what the community stands for in the first place.
So, I just want to encourage anyone who identifies as a person that like both sexes/ genders who might be reading this that there are indeed people who welcome you into the community…even if you you are with someone of the opposite sex. Don’t get discouraged by the folks who have no control over your identity.
And to the folks who like to complain about other Queer folks on the internet while hiding behind the safety of their keyboards…I encourage you to get off your internet soap boxes and quit it with the Bi/Pan erasure. We don’t need it from our own community.
jthomasmpls
Right on!
Curtispsf
Can I get an AMEN and Hallelujah? I couldn’t have said it better. I fail to see why it is necessary for SOME people to parse EVERY statement of affection made by others? Perhaps it is because they don’t have genuine lives of their own? Fuck all this PC bullshit. Get off the merry-go-round and live YOUR OWN authentic lives.
TheFabulousThomasJ
I’ve arrived at the stage in my Life where I do not give three-goats-and-a-blanket about anyone else’s sex life because I’m comfortable with my own. Only people who are not enjoying a fulfilling and satisfying sex life are sticking their noses into others, and this is why we get so much grief from Evangelicals.