polarizing

Mark Zuckerberg reveals he’s secretly ripped, and Gay Twitter™ is completely divided

Mark Zuckerberg

In the ongoing saga of Mark Zuckerberg versus Elon Musk, one plot twist has left Gay Twitter™ at a loss: under his T-shirts and hoodies, Zuckerberg has been hiding a built physique.

The conversation started when Zuckerberg and Musk’s rivalry escalated to the suggestion of a physical fight.

The two tech CEOs have always been competitors, but with the launch of Zuckerberg’s new platform Threads, a direct competitor to Musk’s faltering Twitter, their back-and-forth has reached new heights (including the suggestion of a “literal dick-measuring contest” from Musk).

Now, rumors of a UFC-style cage fight between the two have been swirling, thanks to a tweet from Musk saying, “I’m up for a cage match if he is.” Since then, both parties have shown their commitment to the bit by teaming up with actual superstars of the fighting world. Musk apparently had a private training session with UFC fighter Georges St-Pierre, who tweeted a pic of himself and Musk after their workout.

Zuckerberg followed Musk’s lead, posting a picture of himself with UFC champions Israel Adesanya and Alex Volkanovski — and unlike Musk, Zuckerberg is flaunting his shirtless bod.

You can guess where this is going. At the sight of a shirtless torso with a hint of muscle, Gay Twitter™ is always guaranteed to go feral, no matter who said torso belongs to. Zuck is no exception.

But not everyone is on board to get “Zucked” by Zuckerberg (a phrase I already regret writing). Plenty of others criticized thirsting after Zuckerberg, who’s not the only questionable object of Gay Twitter’s attention in recent memory — shoutout to Ron DeSantis.

And of course, some folks pointed out that this whole situation reflects gay guys behavior on the apps. Moral of the story? Raise your standards, people! We can do better!

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