There is actually something called the Rediscover God in America Conference? HOW DID I NOT KNOW ABOUT THIS! I want to rediscover God. In America! In fact, I’m willing to just discover God the one time, no need to re-do it for me. Could I get a discount on my conference pass this way? Anyhow. Speaking at the Iowa event yesterday, heterosexual troop absolutist Mike Huckabee told the crowd that it’s up to “spiritual warriors” to ensure this nation does not “fall to the hand of those who would enslave us.” He’s talking about you, fags! We’re dealing with the classic battle of good vs. evil, and we must defend things that are “holy and that are pure and that are just.” Like Chick-fil-A’s spicy chicken sandwiches. Oh, and marriage only for breeders. Even if it means “possibly” losing your jobs.