The ‘Barbie’ and ‘Doctor Who’ star says, “it’s important that no one feels an obligation to others in relation to what’s happening to them internally.”
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I do give him props for admitting that he enjoyed the attention. A lot of folks don’t like admitting that for a time in their life they enjoyed being reduced to sex and/or being fetishized. I understand looking at things in hindsight with a more mature and nuanced lens and recognizing some “problematic” elements. But it’s just as important to admit that for a time you were seeking that attention and validation and understand why you were seeking that attention and validation.
It was a completely incoherent statement, and I like the actor. Toxicity for getting attention that he liked? If they had ignored him he would have complained about that. Just cut the crap.
Yes, randomly touching people is indeed “toxic” and illegal in fact. And yes, demographics can be fetishized and whittled down to solely sexual fantasy or kink. There’s another discussion around black/ethnic men seeking mostly white/non-black attention and validation. But what you view as “incoherent” is really uncomfortable nuance
@Lumpy, I didn’t find it “incoherent” at all. He was saying he was isolated as a Black queer refugee born and initially raised in Rwanda, but who grew up in in very White Edinburgh (I mean, if you visit there, you’ll see what I mean). Nevertheless, when he reached maturity and started hitting the clubs in Scotland’s largest city, Glasgow, which is more diverse and where he was a student, rather than being treated as exotic or an outsider, he gained social and sexual currency as a young Black gay man. He was weirded out but also excited by the shift in how he was treated. Makes sense to me!
There is the no-win scenario at play here: when black guys get attention, they claim they are fetishized. When ignored, they complain racism. You can’t win. I refuse to play. Thus, my comment.
Love when “people” like Lumpy are determined to be obtuse. It is just as annoying for POC to be ignored because our race as it is to be fetishized for our race.
For example, being lumped into “black men aren’t attractive” as though we are one monolithic appearance is just as bad as “black men are hot with a bubble ass and big c**k” and having strangers think it’s their right to grab it to find out.
BOTH are racist.
You’re welcome for once again educating you people. (And by you people, I mean willful idiots.)
So where is the line between “fetishizing” him because he has killer thighs and (possibly) a Scottish accent (actually, I’m not sure if he does or not – but I would find it hot if he did) and him being black come? I mean, I wouldn’t touch someone I didn’t know except by accident or invitation, I get that part. But honestly I find him attractive because he has muscles, not because he’s black. I think the Brits call this “fit” and I feel like more people fetishize “fit” than fetishize “black” (not that you couldn’t do both). Now if the picture was clear enough that I could tell he had that creamy unblemished skin that might also spark my interest but plenty of Asians, Latinos and even white guys have that too. How do you know what I’m attracted to, or why before I speak/you ask questions?
Also, how does anyone, in a practical sense, change how they perceive certain qualities? Like, accents. I love the Scottish accent and I hate the Australian one even though to my ear they’re pretty close and both are forms of English. Neither says anything about what a person does or looks like or believes or how they act day-to-day but nonetheless I find one tonally soothing/pleasing and the other harsh and nasal and I don’t even know why my brain makes that distinction. I do have friends from both countries but I find myself actively “overlooking” the Australian accent. Is there a course? Therapy? A pill?
You should know that you can find a black man attractive without fetishizing him specifically for his blackness, and you should also know better than to grab complete strangers. This isn’t hard. You’re disgusting.
Actually YOU need to know that what happens to POC in a sexual environment isn’t the same as for white people. It’s not for YOU to decide our experience.
I’m not from “this generation” that you want to deride, and it has always been this way.
He’s probably not the first man who has been of two minds about being groped in a gay bar. I’m not a subscriber to British GQ (please no judgments), but I hope this excerpt isn’t the highlight of his Men of the Year interview.
Getting groped at certain Gay Bars and then moaning about it. Priceless. On ocassions it’s flattereing. It can also be obnoxious.
He’s become one more Narcissus…….endlessy staring too close at his beautiful self. He is his own fetish. And that’s cool. Be careful not to fall into that pond, Sissy.
It doesnt mention his wonderful role in Sex Education as Erik. He deserved an icon statis, especially in the first three years of the series. They do talk about his role in Sex Education in the original article.
No photo of him kissing that buddy of his down in Brazil, Queerty? Scroll through his IG, it’s there. You may have even featured it before.
Ncuti is a cutie and I got what he was saying. Uninvited groping is a no-no, though. As I had to make clear in Provincetown and a few other places, FAAFO.
Many white gay men are equal to their conservative brethren…they are POS major POS…hiding behind their gayness to say I am a “minority” and equal to the plight of Black Americans and other minorities…THEY ARE NOT…they have spent and spend more time as white men benefiting from it…
Yep! Many a gay black man can tell you that they’ve turned down advances from a white man and were quickly called the n-word. I’ve seen this happen myself.
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Donston
I do give him props for admitting that he enjoyed the attention. A lot of folks don’t like admitting that for a time in their life they enjoyed being reduced to sex and/or being fetishized. I understand looking at things in hindsight with a more mature and nuanced lens and recognizing some “problematic” elements. But it’s just as important to admit that for a time you were seeking that attention and validation and understand why you were seeking that attention and validation.
LumpyPillows
It was a completely incoherent statement, and I like the actor. Toxicity for getting attention that he liked? If they had ignored him he would have complained about that. Just cut the crap.
Donston
Yes, randomly touching people is indeed “toxic” and illegal in fact. And yes, demographics can be fetishized and whittled down to solely sexual fantasy or kink. There’s another discussion around black/ethnic men seeking mostly white/non-black attention and validation. But what you view as “incoherent” is really uncomfortable nuance
Kangol2
@Lumpy, I didn’t find it “incoherent” at all. He was saying he was isolated as a Black queer refugee born and initially raised in Rwanda, but who grew up in in very White Edinburgh (I mean, if you visit there, you’ll see what I mean). Nevertheless, when he reached maturity and started hitting the clubs in Scotland’s largest city, Glasgow, which is more diverse and where he was a student, rather than being treated as exotic or an outsider, he gained social and sexual currency as a young Black gay man. He was weirded out but also excited by the shift in how he was treated. Makes sense to me!
LumpyPillows
Kang, you said it a lot better than he did.
There is the no-win scenario at play here: when black guys get attention, they claim they are fetishized. When ignored, they complain racism. You can’t win. I refuse to play. Thus, my comment.
dbmcvey
Being human is incoherent. It’s possible to feel multiple ways about things.
abfab
LUMPY! You’re now officially insane,
Black men love being ignored. So do white men.
startenout
Love when “people” like Lumpy are determined to be obtuse. It is just as annoying for POC to be ignored because our race as it is to be fetishized for our race.
For example, being lumped into “black men aren’t attractive” as though we are one monolithic appearance is just as bad as “black men are hot with a bubble ass and big c**k” and having strangers think it’s their right to grab it to find out.
BOTH are racist.
You’re welcome for once again educating you people. (And by you people, I mean willful idiots.)
LAN8
So where is the line between “fetishizing” him because he has killer thighs and (possibly) a Scottish accent (actually, I’m not sure if he does or not – but I would find it hot if he did) and him being black come? I mean, I wouldn’t touch someone I didn’t know except by accident or invitation, I get that part. But honestly I find him attractive because he has muscles, not because he’s black. I think the Brits call this “fit” and I feel like more people fetishize “fit” than fetishize “black” (not that you couldn’t do both). Now if the picture was clear enough that I could tell he had that creamy unblemished skin that might also spark my interest but plenty of Asians, Latinos and even white guys have that too. How do you know what I’m attracted to, or why before I speak/you ask questions?
Also, how does anyone, in a practical sense, change how they perceive certain qualities? Like, accents. I love the Scottish accent and I hate the Australian one even though to my ear they’re pretty close and both are forms of English. Neither says anything about what a person does or looks like or believes or how they act day-to-day but nonetheless I find one tonally soothing/pleasing and the other harsh and nasal and I don’t even know why my brain makes that distinction. I do have friends from both countries but I find myself actively “overlooking” the Australian accent. Is there a course? Therapy? A pill?
abfab
Obtuse. The perfect word for the perfect bigots.
sfhairy
Oh FFS, all the wah wah wah with this generation. You’re hot, you were sexualized in a sexual environment. Move on.
Brian
You should know that you can find a black man attractive without fetishizing him specifically for his blackness, and you should also know better than to grab complete strangers. This isn’t hard. You’re disgusting.
abfab
Should should should should should…………..yes mother.
sfhairy
Brian, try again, you need to do better and understand what actually happens in a sexualized environment. do keep trying incel
startenout
Actually YOU need to know that what happens to POC in a sexual environment isn’t the same as for white people. It’s not for YOU to decide our experience.
I’m not from “this generation” that you want to deride, and it has always been this way.
Fahd
He’s probably not the first man who has been of two minds about being groped in a gay bar. I’m not a subscriber to British GQ (please no judgments), but I hope this excerpt isn’t the highlight of his Men of the Year interview.
SDR94103
she gross. no way. shaniqua, go away.
Kangol2
SDR94103-qua, why don’t you go away, Shanté, and never come back another day!
still_onthemark
Do we pronounce his first name En-Cutie?
LumpyPillows
I see what you did there.
Brian
(In those languages, the “nc” combo is pronounced like the English “sh” combo. So, it’s like, “shoot-ee.”)
abfab
Getting groped at certain Gay Bars and then moaning about it. Priceless. On ocassions it’s flattereing. It can also be obnoxious.
He’s become one more Narcissus…….endlessy staring too close at his beautiful self. He is his own fetish. And that’s cool. Be careful not to fall into that pond, Sissy.
”I’m beautiful dammit”
frapachino
LOL yae sure Jan!
tommyboy5023
It doesnt mention his wonderful role in Sex Education as Erik. He deserved an icon statis, especially in the first three years of the series. They do talk about his role in Sex Education in the original article.
LumpyPillows
It was the role that made him.
Kangol2
No photo of him kissing that buddy of his down in Brazil, Queerty? Scroll through his IG, it’s there. You may have even featured it before.
Ncuti is a cutie and I got what he was saying. Uninvited groping is a no-no, though. As I had to make clear in Provincetown and a few other places, FAAFO.
dbmcvey
So many bitter bitches on this site.
abfab
Crabby bitches. Nagging housewives. Unfulfilled chicken hawks. And yes…….bitter. They ooooze it on to the page somehow.
KissBananaPeels
Well, MANY white homos are extremely bitter
abfab
Tru dat.
KissBananaPeels
Many white gay men are equal to their conservative brethren…they are POS major POS…hiding behind their gayness to say I am a “minority” and equal to the plight of Black Americans and other minorities…THEY ARE NOT…they have spent and spend more time as white men benefiting from it…
abfab
Tell it Kiss.
dallastex
Yep! Many a gay black man can tell you that they’ve turned down advances from a white man and were quickly called the n-word. I’ve seen this happen myself.