Who are we to question how OnlyFans stars prepare for business? They are experts, after all, whereas we doze off while looking at Grindr in the wee hours of the morning.
But Max Lorde’s routine prompts some questions. The cute content creator recently shared his bottoming regimen on the aptly-titled “Sloppy Seconds” podcast.
Fiber is not included, but cheeseburgers are! Chicken tenders, too!
How about we take this to the next level?
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“Yesterday, I had McDonald’s twice. I had the 10-piece nuggets and two Big Macs. The No. 7 with the two cheeseburgers,” said Lorde.
And then?
Two hours of douching.
The hosts, “Big Dipper” and “Meatball,” literally gagged.
Lorde’s most shocking reveal, however, came at the start of the clip.
“Bottoming? You have 10 Imodiums,” he said.
😬😬😬
“You are insane! You are a nightmare person!” Meatball exclaimed.
Before we go further, it’s important to note that Lorde appears to know what he’s doing. The military vet (thank you for your service) doesn’t seem to miss many days in the gym, despite his busy schedule.
He’s always filling up… his subscribers’ feeds.
But at 25 years old, Lorde’s body just kind of… works. We all remember our mid-20s when we could last an entire weekend on granola bars and Gatorade. (It was a very dangerous time!)
The concern is about Lorde’s ability to last.
Let’s start at the top: swallowing 10 Imodium pills in one sitting is not good. The drug, which is typically taken for diarrhea relief, slows down the movement of the gut, says WebMD. Thus, it decreases the amount of bowel movements.
Given the drug’s impact on the insides, people are recommended to only take Imodium as needed. The recommended maximum dosage for adults is eight milligrams in 24 hours. That amounts to four pills.
Lorde, meanwhile, takes 10 pills. That’s 20 milligrams in a day! THAT IS TOO MANY!
The kid’s poor insides must be begging for mercy. Good thing they get rewarded with burgers and fries!
That’s not to say taking Imodium before bottoming isn’t uncommon. Some gays ingest Imodium a couple of hours before they may have sex, as an added precaution.
“if i know i’m going to have a marathon f*ck the next day and i want to be absolutely sure i won’t run into problems, i will take immodium [sic] the night before,” said one Reddit user.
“Imodium is a godsend!” added another.
But keep in mind, they’re probably only taking one or two pills, and using the drug sparingly. Unlike Lorde, who is popping 10.
The increased popularity of Imodium among bottoms is seemingly incongruent with the other most popular over-the-counter digestive medication in the gay community: Metamucil! Unlike Imodium, the fiber supplement encourages bowel movements.
Troye Sivan showed the world his daily Metamcuil regimen last year (though keep in mind, the “Bloom” singer maintains he’s not a bottom)…
When it comes to gay sex, gut health is paramount. And unsurprisingly, the best way to stay regular isn’t alternating between OTC pills.
The keys are exercising, and eating a balanced diet rich with natural fibers.
One of the biggest truths, and most important thing for a bottom is a high fiber diet,” Dr. Leo Moore told Queerty. “Although there are fiber supplements out there, the best is eating your fiber, and not only for bottoming, but it helps the bacteria in the gut, which can also help with diabetes and high blood pressure.”
If Max Lorde needs additional health advice, he should let us know. We would happily make a home visit!
Chrisk
Well, the more you know. 🙂
Mack
lol
armandov
Aside from the fact he is not attractive, IMO, it’s pathetic that he is ingesting all of that stuff to clean out his A-hole so he can get plowed daily. Can’t be good for anyone’s system.
Kangol2
He’s deathly pale, and all that Immodium will wreck his system, so why not cut back on the fast food burgers and nuggets if you’re getting hammered like his and just eat healthy, fiber-rich food, like, say…apples? Oatmeal, Avocados? Cabbage? Most vegetables? Almonds? etc.
abfab
Pistachios, figs and cannoli. Live a little!
inbama
The pale skin is part of the genetic package with the red hair.
The body appears to be in good shape – which leads me to believe the Trump-and-Imodium Diet is just entertaining talk.
abfab
Dr Inbama believes anything.
chicagojock1993
Judging by how massive Max’s gynecomastia is in both of his nipples, I’d say he’s constantly on a cycle. That’s probably also messing with his stomach, resulting in him needing 10 Imodium to bottom. Yikes!
storm45701
That’s a lot of work just to have sex. Just give me a Pornhub pass and a clean sock.
Aaronmeister
You GO ‘storm45701’…
Mr.Gavin Elster
Um?…..Maybe he can save time, and energy and use the loose, gooey poop as a fragrant “natural” lubricant? I’m so happy that young gay men, today, have such an articulate and passionate “role” model. Back when I was growing-up we just had those boring, old intellectuals you could introduce to mom, like Gore Vidal, James Baldwin and Christopher Isherwood.