Pop singer Lauv comes out as “gay but not gay”, addresses his sexuality in new music

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A post shared by Lauv (@lauvsongs)

Singer-songwriter Lauv—best known for pop radio hit “I Like Me Better”—has come out as “gay but not gay but gay but not gay.”

And if that sounds a little confusing to you, well, that’s how Lauv feels about it, too! And that’s okay.

This past Pride Month, the 28-year old musician made headlines when he posted a TikTok of himself riding in a car with on-screen text that read, “When ur dating a girl but ur also a little bit into men.”

He elaborated further in the TikTok’s caption, writing, “Does it have to be that big of a deal? I haven’t done much aside from kiss so tbh don’t wanna jump the gun but tbh I feel things I don’t wanna pretend I dont.”

@lauvsongs

Does it have to be that big of a deal? i havent done much aside from kiss so tbh don’t wannna jump the gun but tbh i feel things and i dont wanna pretend i dont. 🙂

♬ original sound – Lauv

In the wake of the post, a number of media outlets reported on the fact that Lauv “seemingly” came out, tip-toeing around the fact that he hadn’t yet made any declarative statements about his sexuality. Of course, everyone should be welcome to come out on their own terms, and we respect the musician’s decision to be so honest and open with his fans, even as he’s clearly still figuring things out for himself.

In the month-plus since, Lauv has continued to share more on TikTok, declaring “I’m tired of not being me,” and later posting a video with the aforementioned text—”I’m gay but I’m not gay but I’m gay but I’m not gay”—with the caption, “Something that’s been on this [‘ole] mind of mine.”

But his most substantial update came in a YouTube video at the end of July, aptly titled “update.” In it, he directly addresses his fans, frankly discussing his battles with anxiety and OCD and how they relate to his sexuality:

“I’m going through an interesting time, where, for years, you may know I’ve struggled with OCD and anxiety really badly,” Lauv shares. “And one of the things I’ve obsessed about has been my sexuality.”

He continues: “I’ve pushed it down a lot and I felt like this is anxiety and not actually a real thing. Like, I would feel feelings or feel a connection or a vibe or desire or something, and would just shut it down. Obviously, I’ve dated exclusively women in my life so far… Sorry, this is just a little hard. But I’m getting better every day.”

As Lauv states, part of the way he’s working through his feelings is in his music. He says his new album is on the way, and that it speaks to a part of himself that is “happy, and it speaks to being happy and figuring out what makes me happy—and not worrying about what other people think.”

Related:

These are the 20 most important gay anthems of all time

Punk rock. Disco. Folk. Just as the community is all-inclusive, the songs that shaped it span across several genres. While new gay artists and empowering anthems pop up daily, it’s important to honor the tried-and-true classics.

This week, we’re getting our first taste of that “happy” new music with the single “Love U Like That.” Its lyrics tap into that familiar feeling of an all-consuming crush, while also voicing some of what Lauv’s going through as he learns to accept his true self:

“I love you like that / Body on my mind like all night long / Six o’clock in the mornin’, babe / Want you more than yesterday / Used to judge myself, now I don’t care ’cause, hey / I love you like that”

In our never-ending press cycle, we tend to want to be declarative about things, to put labels on them. But as we all know—and as Lauv’s been pointing out—it’s not always that simple.

As the musician continues on this journey with his queerness, we commend him for his openness and candor along the way. No matter where he might find himself within the LGBTQ+ community, he’s welcome here regardless.

And, just a gentle reminder to the gays, Lauv is one of a handful of songwriters credited on Charli XCX’s horny-for-guys anthem “Boys,” so he’s already given our community so much!