Reality star Colton Underwood is opening up about the struggles he faced as a teenager and young adult with understanding his sexuality.
In his new book “The First Time,” out later this month, the Bachelor star reveals that he “thought he was gay” after being bullied for years.
In an interview with People, the 28-year-old, who recently tested positive for COVID-19 and is currently in quarantine, says he grew up in a small town in Illinois where “I was called fatso, four eyes and four lips, because I used to lick my lips, so I would constantly have a red ring around them.”
“I was a little heavy, and that, combined with being socially awkward, led to a really hard time. I didn’t believe in myself. And I was super insecure.”
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By high school, many of his peers began telling him he was gay because he chose to abstain from sex.
“It was one of those things where you hear something so often, you start believing it,” Underwood says. “I thought, maybe I am gay. The captain of the football team should be having sex and drinking, right? But I wasn’t.”
He continues, “I didn’t know who I was. And I come from an athletic family, so it was always, ‘Move on, you’re good.’ So that threw me off. In high school, when I was struggling with my sexuality, I’m not going to talk to my parents about it. So I internalized it.”
As it turned out, Underwood eventually realized that everyone was wrong and, actually, he wasn’t gay. But the rumors still persisted.
“Even while my season was airing, I battled the gay [rumors],” he recalls. “They’d say, ‘he’s gay, he’s hiding it.’ No. But I’ve been there, done that now.”
The season ended with Underwood picking Cassie Randolph to be his one and only and the two are still going strong.
“I want my life to be with Cassie,” Underwood says. “I know who I am. And that’s really all that matters.”
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PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
Sorry Missy, if YOU are thinking you may be Gay it’s time to end the charade and admit to yourself who and what you are ….
djmcgamester
I guess all the people who thought they were straight but later come out should acknowledge that, yes, they’re really straight? People struggle with confusion about sexuality. NBD.
Catholicslutbox
SO THIS WHOLE THING WAS A STORY ABOUT A NON-STORY?
that’s queerty for you…
RoughRugger
It’s a “story” because it gave Q an excuse to include a thirst-trap pic of the non-gay guy.
rocknstan
So true. One’s dick knows what it likes. His sequel will be about his “gradual realization.”
Donston
The dude does seem as if he’s withholding some things. But we really need to stop oversimplifying sexuality, orientation and people’s journeys and struggles. You don’t know what type of internal or external pressures someone feels. You don’t know if someone has contended with fluidity or confusions and what kinds of fluidity and confusions. And you don’t know the dimensions of someone’s orientation. A lot of people need to educate themselves more before they judge others.
MrMichaelJ
Wow did someone just try to compare a gay guy trying to be straight to this?
Donston
Hmmm. Based off his choice of words he doesn’t seem conventionally heterosexual at the very least. And it reads like a lot of his questioning was internal not external. He simply wants to blame other people for him feeling “gay”. But whatever. We all have our own struggles and journeys. And (as I always redundantly say) the romantic, sexual, fascination, affection, emotional fulfillment, relationship contentment spectrum is wide and diverse. We all should be with and love who we truly want to be with and love. I just hope that he’s not driven by stuff like a fragile ego, shame, sociology, religion, family pressure. I also hope he’s keeping it real with that girl as far as his dimensions and motivations. Outside of that, do you.
sillyme
@Donston, I agree with you there that is very likely the exact case and it sounds about right to me and who cares if he is or isn’t some of us went through that same struggle as teens and beyond just to get through things at a point in life and I did it to get through a time in life that I wanted to be out of school before I did anything like sex with another and in my own place so I could relax enough to enjoy it and so forth. I dated in high school with a girl from another town no sex just movies and walks but no sex and wondered if it was what I wanted or not.
Donston
From what I can tell the dude never said he was “straight”. He said that he knows who he is and who he wants to share his life with. His dimensions, nuances, struggles, motivations, identities are ultimately not our business. And it’s his life not ours. His path and ambitions may evolve. But once again, that’s not our business.
justgeo
WTF cares?
bradleyphillip
Exactly
Cam
Yes, by all means, more articles telling us about all of the difficulties heterosexual guys went through in high school with their sexuality. (Eye Roll)
djmcgamester
They only do that with the hot, semi-famous guys.
Donston
I mean, everyone has different struggles. And everyone’s sexual, gender, love, relationship, identity journey is different. And everyone’s story deserves to be told. Besides, this was a semi widely publicized story. And wasn’t like they had to go on Reddit or some obscure site in order to talk about a supposed “straight guy”. The straight guy/guy with a woman coverage is tiresome though.
toddlicious
GAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!!
Who couldn’t tell he was gay during the show? Every week, I was like, this guy is gay.
Poor thing will never be happy…
Family, society, religion, career… all force him into the box of hetero normative lifestyle…
Sad.
jmg619
Ha! I was thinking the same thing and I don’t watch the show! I could tell just by the commercials he was. He just seemed uncomfortable, if that’s the right word, everytime the women were around him. Maybe someday he’ll accept it and finally come out or maybe we’ll never know.
Imjustsaying
Not too hard Colton. Look at a picture of Brad Pitt. Look hard. Now, do you want to be Brad Pitt or do you want to be with Brad Pitt. There’s your answer.
Ari
I’m sickened by these comments and I’m sorry I have to walk among some of you. He’s straight. He talked about his experience. It’s a sweet story.
ShiningSex
CLOSET GAY.
TOTALLY. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE “STRAIGHT”.
HE’S PROBABLY BI AT LEAST. HIS STORY IS NOT SWEET. IT’S A JOKE. SIT DOWN.
ShiningSex
GAY!!!!
Josh447
Graham, good story, so not tiresome at all. Enlivening enjoyable. Love your straight guy on gay site coverage.
Donston
You and your multiple handles and your imagery “straight friend” can kiss my tiresome ass.
MrMichaelJ
Supposedly a lot of guys go through this stage. As I see it, if you’re questioning it then you aren’t 100% heterosexual, you just got to a point in your life where fighting the urge seemed more feasible. It’s a case of nature versus nurture where nurture wins out.
MarkyMarkNipple
He’s probably looking to start an only fans page or whatever it’s called and he’s looking to get those pink dollars
Gadfeal
I don’t watch the show as is neither “real” nor would any of these stunningly attractive people have any difficulty dating; the girls would have to keep men away with a stick or pepper spray. While “sterotypes” may be wrong, he has a look and expression such that I wouldn’t be surprised if he was gay in fact. I can see he carries himself as if he were still subject to taunting about his girth.
SPEEDOSWIMMER
Cassie will be looking for a STRAIGHT guy soon.
scooter12
I’m sorry, I try to be as open as I can, accepting of whatever people want to feel or be or call themself…but is it really rocket science to wonder if your gay? I mean, you either are excited and get hard thinking about a naked guy, or it doesn’t do anything for you at all. Any guy who questions if he might be gay cannot be 100% straight- period.
Donston
Try a lil’ harder to be open minded or to understand other people’s dilemmas. I do agree that a guy who is “questioning” in his teens and early adulthood is unlikely to be entirely “straight” or heterosexual. But from what I can tell he is not labeling himself. He’s saying that he knows who he is and who he wants to build a life with. Sexuality can be far more complicated and confusing than some seem to understand. Some dudes actually prefer sexually interacting more with a gender that they don’t get as easily aroused for. Sexuality isn’t just about getting your dick hard or pvssy wet. If it were, there’d likely be around 30% less gay identifying dudes and much, much less lesbian identifying women. There are other aspects of sexuality beyond genital arousal. There’s sexual desires, passions, comfort, enjoyment, fulfillment. While orientation is not just about sex. It also encompasses whatever type of romantic feelings, affections, emotional fulfillment, relationship ambitions/contentment you have. (A lot of orientation involves who you prefer persistently pleasing and getting constant affirmation from). You also don’t know how much of someone’s orientation might be connected to their gender dimensions or gender expressions. Never mind the different types and degrees of fluidity some people experience in their life. Therefore, thinking orientation is entirely about arousal and behaviors is a mistake, and it’s partly why there’s still so much manipulation out here. There’s still many men pretending to be really, really into women because they can get hard for women and can sexually perform with women. But they are overall have persistent same-sex preferences or are more on the homo end of the orientation spectrum.
You don’t really know the dimensions, struggles or motivations of people. This makes “figuring people out” more complicated and difficult to do. But it is what it is. Things are not as basic as many people want them to be. This dude comes a bit insecure and defensive, which points to him shielding some things. Yet, it is ultimately his life.
pscheck2
He talks about his late realization that he is, after all, STRAIGHT! He apparently was a high school stud (capt. of his football team) and yet he doesn’t offer any proof that he had a gf or much less a relationship with a girl during that time! Come on,a hot looking teenager without a gf? (At this point in his life the bullying was over with, replaced by the BMOC [Big man on campus] image, its hard for me to believe he did not have hormone ridden females (weting!) wANTING TO DO ‘IT’ WITH HIM! Then, if he was not doing ‘it’ with a female than was he doing ‘it’ with a guy? Also, what was he doing with his life in the meantime [from HS to now] sexually? Was ( or is)he a virgin, and, if not, what gender was he having sex with?Also, when did he firmly believe he was straight (Age). In summation, why a hot looking guy like him found it necessary to appear on a show like the Bachelor? One appearance in a Sports Bar would solve his bachelor days! (No, IMHO, he is gay and using his book to justify his belated step into STRAIGHTHOOD!! (in a way feel sorry for Cassle, if and when he confesses his true sexuality!)
Cambriaguy
Straight men do not call their 2 toy dogs their children and look and act the way Colton Underwood does daily. He is screaming that he is Gay in every way but verbally. He is still confused for sure but sorry not buying he is straight.
Dijonaise
Ha ha, One year later and he finally dragged himself out of the closet! Congratulations Colton.