START YOUR ENGINES!

RuPaul’s Drag Race Recap: Ho, Ho, Ho Your Boat!

It’s Willam—duh—who wins a cruise. (The kind on the water.)

For the bottom two, it’s Jiggly vs. Milan, lip-synching Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way.” This seems like the right time for both of them. Jiggly has been underperforming for a while, and Milan is still Milan.

This song has its softer moments, and that’s where Milan’s overacting really got cringeworthy. Just because you can open your mouth all the way to lip-synch a lyric doesn’t mean you have to. Don’t pull off your wig! Don’t take off part of your dress! Don’t do the splits immediate after Jiggly! Ugh.

No contest. Jiggly, chanté, you stay.

RuPaul leaves us with some final words for Milan: “London. Paris. Milan…” Sorry, I tuned out after that. I’m so exhausted by that line—thankfully we won’t have to hear it again.

Next week: The girls launch their own magazines. Willam uses it as an excuse to get naked.

Jason Sweeten is a Texan who lives in New York.