Public humiliation enthusiast Ted Cruz was videoed at Monday’s Astros World Series Parade being pelted with boos — and booze.
The senator rode through Houston, his state’s largest city, to a cacophony of booing and middle fingers. This average Cruz welcome wagon took an unexpected turn when a crowd member decided to share their drink in a less-than-friendly way.
Turns out White Claws are incredibly aerodynamic:
Beer flies at Ted Cruz during Astros World Series Parade pic.twitter.com/lRALgyXCe2
— Alien Truther Wildwest (@wcgroovy) November 7, 2022
We can’t endorse violence, but with Cruz’s constant violent rhetoric against queer folks, gun violence survivors, and women’s rights, it’s not the most surprising outcome.
How about we take this to the next level?
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The can doesn’t seem to have made any significant contact, being batted out of the way by the senator and his guard. Still, Cruz and Houston police quickly had the man who threw the can arrested.
If Steve Lacy can get knocked with a camera mid-show and keep playing, Cruz will probably survive.
Related: New Ted Cruz book excerpt proves he’s terrified of his own violent base
Cruz recently helped propagate that homophobic conspiracy theory around Paul Pelosi’s assault, in which far-right weirdos cooked up a story of assailant David DePape being a gay prostitute he’d hired.
Even with transcripts of DePape saying he went specifically to harm Paul’s wife, Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Cruz put forth that “none of us will ever know for sure” what happened.
Naturally, Matt Walsh is involved in spreading it too:
truth https://t.co/zCUHB1X6tI
— Ted Cruz (@tedcruz) October 31, 2022
Now, folks on social media are sarcastically using that same awful logic against him:
such a blatant assault can only mean one thing, this is clearly a lovers quarrel between Ted Cruz and the gay prostitute he invited to the parade for sex https://t.co/r9hBzFpPTC
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) November 7, 2022
Ted Cruz’s gay lover threw a beer at him? Some people are saying there is more to this story.
— Jessica O Yeah (@JessicaOYeah1) November 8, 2022
Maybe, just maybe the guy who threw the beer at Ted Cruz was his secret lover? At least that’s what SOME people are saying. As The Elongated Muskrat said, “Maybe there’s more to this story?”
— Pastor Rob Fleeceman (@PFleeceman) November 8, 2022
Many people are saying that the man who pelted Ted Cruz with a beer can is actually his gay lover who’s jealous he hasn’t left Heidi
As Elon said, there’s a tiny possibility there might be more to this story than meets the eye 😉
— Lindy Li (@lindyli) November 8, 2022
The whole Ted Cruz beer thrown at him sounds fishy.
How did that guy know Ted Cruz would be there?
Obviously Cruz texted him.
They are lovers
Or it was staged.Notice the media isn’t discussing it now?
— “All I do is” Nguyen ☺️🇻🇳🌈 (@Nguyen_anime3) November 8, 2022
Some people are saying the man who threw the beer can at Ted Cruz was in his underwear and also his secret gay lover. Some people are saying he was just trying to get his thirsty man a cold brew.
— Rob Israel (@robisraelart) November 8, 2022
Lots of people saying Ted Cruz was in his underwear on a float, when his gay lover in a jealous rage threw a beer can at him. Detail on Fox tonight!
— Tina (@DvtinaTina) November 8, 2022
BREAKING: Texas Democrats Claim Man Who Threw Seltzer Can at Ted Cruz Was His ‘Gay Lover’
“Why isn’t the Houston Police Department releasing any more information on this guy? I think it’s only fair to ask questions about their relationship,” said a Texas Democratic official. pic.twitter.com/jGAWrrPO6E
— Jeff Charles, Destroyer of Democracy (@JeffOnTheRight) November 8, 2022
Related: Ana Navarro telling Ted Cruz to kindly STFU on ‘The View’ is literally all of us
Some are also comparing this incident to how someone on the left handled the same situation.
When a Trumper threw a full can at comedian Ariel Elias mid-set last month, she chugged it like a champ:
Here’s the clip pic.twitter.com/soeG3dixP4
— Ariel Elias (@Ariel_Comedy) October 9, 2022
Not everyone can be that cool, though.
abfab
Swamp scum….and how dare you Q………bringing Basia into this mess!
Kangol2
I’m against violence of this sort. Ted Cruz is a gross liar and phony, though, and should at the very least be booed whenever he enters a room or rolls down the street, in a car, on a float, you name it.
Jim
throwing things, other then insults, at Cancun Cruz is unacceptable
Fahd
I do not like that Senator Cruz
I do not like his far right views
I do not like his stupid chin
I do not like his smarmy grin
I do not like him with a beard
I do not like him freshly sheared
I do not like what he just said
I do not like his boxy head
I do not like him wearing glasses
I do not like him greeting kids in classes
I do not like his stupid suits
I do not like cowboy boots
I do not like him when he sneezes
I do not like him eating cheeses
I do not like him in the leaves
I do not like him when he feeds
I do not like him by a wall
I do not like his tattoo at all
I do not like him in a room
I do not like him in Cancun
I do not like him playing ball
I do not like his face at all
From John Oliver
m
I abhor violence, but if that were a bullet, I would remain silent. Whispers, “poetic justice…”