main character of the gay

This Equinox Gay™ took a mass email waaay too personally… and now he’s getting dragged for it

By · 16 comments · Updated on January 26, 2024
A muscular, shirtless man with abs stands against a white wall. His face and lower half are just out of frame.

We’ve found the new Main Character of the Gay Day.

The only thing more perplexing than the unspoken rules governing gym etiquette is the newfangled magic of mass email marketing. And unfortunately, Paul (Twitter X user @GayCrossfit) was stumped by both.

It all started with an email from Equinox encouraging “acts of common courtesy” in regards to phone usage on the floor. As a means of personalization, the Supreme Gay Gym of Choice used a code to generate each member’s first name in the greeting. (“Dear TK…”)

The nuance was lost on Paul. And he took it personally.

To be fair, if a gym were to single out a member with a list of rules, we’d take that as an affront. (Who is a corporation to determine whether or not we were looking up fitness tips on the Grindr grid?!) But this Twitter Gay one-upped even the most simplest excuse by replying to the poor Equinox customer support team with a carefully-crafted rebuttal for each rule.

“Trying to really understand why this email was sent to me and will assume it was sent to the wrong person,” he wrote. “Cause I’m FOR SURE NOT THE ONE.” Oof, you tell ’em!

Perhaps this minuscule misunderstanding of email mechanics would’ve gone unnoticed (aside from a polite form-response from Equinox support), except Paul decided to share the entire exchange on Twitter X.

It did not take long for a mob of Twitter Gays to hit the reply section with assurances that they, too, received this email –– and the fact that he took it as a personal attack marked some unchecked Main Character Energy.

To his credit, after realizing every Equinox member received the same email, Paul took the viral post (which has been viewed over 832.7K times) in stride.

“Well, the reviews are in! Ugly people HATE ME!,” he wrote after owning up to his protagonist-at-the-gym energy in another post.

Of course, the reactions ranged from hilarity, to vitriol, to other members who thought the email was singularly directed at them.

That being said, there’s some silver linings to this steam-room cloud.

Paul can remain an Equinox member WITHOUT feeling attacked. And by the time this is published, social media will have moved on to another Main Character of the Gay.

Check out some of the most hilarious rebuttals from Gay Twitter™ below.

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