Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift

There’s no crying in football… unless you’re a homophobe who’s dismayed over the Kansas City Chiefs advancing to the Super Bowl!

The Chiefs bested the Baltimore Ravens 17-7 Sunday in the AFC Championship, further solidifying themselves as the NFL’s next great dynasty. Quarterback extraordinaire Patrick Mahomes delivered in the clutch and the defense shut down Lamar Jackson and the Ravens’ potent offensive attack.

But Kansas City’s best player on the field was Travis Kelce. The star tight end caught all 11 passes thrown his way for 116 yards and a touchdown.

And Taylor Swift was cheering on her man all day long.

Cue the right-wing outrage!

Kelce has been a target for conservatives since last summer, when he teamed up with Bud Light for a 15-second ad. MAGA heads were incensed that Kelce would partner with the iconic beer brand following its affiliation with Dylan Mulvaney.

Then this fall, Kelce and his mother starred in a Pfizer commercial promoting COVID and flu vaccines.

To the snowflakes on the right, the partnerships were akin to treasonous behavior.

But Kelce didn’t give AF.

The nine-time Pro Bowler carried that energy into this season when he started dating Swift. Or more accurately, when Swift started dating him.

The biggest pop star in the world generated an equivalent brand value of $331.5 million for the NFL this season. Her mere presence at NFL stadiums led the league to its highest regular-season viewership among women since it began tracking in 2000.

The NFL may be the most popular sports league in the U.S., but T-Swift is our biggest cultural institution, hands down.

It was another revelation that sent the reactionary right into a tailspin.

Months later, they haven’t recovered.

There was a glimmer of hope for them earlier this winter, when the Chiefs experienced a late-season slump. Their nadir came on Christmas Day, when they lost an anticipated matchup to the lowly Las Vegas Raiders.

Right-wing grifters, such as OutKick founder Clay Travis, couldn’t contain their glee.

One month later, those celebrations now seem a little premature, eh?

With the Chiefs recovered and heading for their fourth Super Bowl in five years, members of the MAGAverse are at a complete loss for words. So naturally, they’ve resorted to ginning up outrageous conspiracies.

Is Taylor Swift…a CIA asset???

The qUeStIoN must be asked!

CIA asset or not, Swift was the star of the Chiefs’ post-game party Sunday. She ran onto the field and embraced her man, even receiving a shoutout from Kansas City coach Andy Reid.

Blasphemous!

At this point, there’s no denying Kelce’s greatness. He’s solidified himself as one of the best players in NFL history, setting the league record for playoff receptions.

On Sunday, he posterized All-Pro Ravens defender Kyle Hamilton for the first touchdown of the game.

And the Chiefs never looked back.

Kelce was so dominant, his performance nearly dropped T-Swift to her knees!

All of these genuine moments haven’t stopped the right-wing conspiracy mongers, however. For some reason, they refuse to accept Kelce and Swift’s romance and are convinced there must be some sort of ulterior motive at play.

Like… money? Because yeah, Swift was really struggling before she met Kelce.

The Eras Tour was only the highest-grossing concert tour of all-time, generating more than $1 billion in revenue.

Or maaaybe, Swift and Kelce’s budding relationship is a ploy engineered by Democrats, according to presidential loser Vivek Ramaswamy. (For what it’s worth, the Biden campaign is reportedly seeking Swift’s endorsement. Tehehehe…)

Whatever the case, Swift and Kelce have captured America’s imagination. They even landed on the cover of Monday’s New York Post.

Did Rupert Murdoch sell his prized tabloid to George Soros? What’s going on here?!

With two weeks of Super Bowl hype ahead, we’re destined to be inundated with even more Taylor and Travis coverage. Admittedly, under normal circumstances, we would probably consider the non-stop attention to be overkill.

But these aren’t normal circumstances, remember? Swift is a CIA, Joe Biden plant who’s brainwashed all of us. And Kelce is her useful idiot.

Oh well. At least the right lessons are being learned.

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