With the return of Emmy-hogger Modern Family—and same-sex sweethearts Cameron and Mitchell—tonight, we decided to take a look at five preeminent gay couples on the small screen. Below, we offer some armchair analysis on who’s in it for the long haul and who’s breaking up on the shores of love.
“Modern Family” – Cam & Mitch
Where we last left off: Cam and Mitch got their hopes up over adopting a baby from a surrogate only to have their dreams dashed when the surrogate’s mother decided to raise the child instead. Coupled with that news, hot mama Gloria is now pregnant. With Lily already a handful, were Cam and Mitch really ready for another baby, or were they just trying to fill a void in their relationship? And will Gloria’s good fortune rub them the wrong way?
Diagnosis: As some of our readers pointed out, Cam and Mitchell’s relationship doesn’t always seem believable since they’re always fighting and not as overtly affectionate as the show’s other couples, Phil and Claire and Gloria and Jay. As America’s favorite comedy, showrunners tend to tread lightly when it comes to Cam and Mitch and their intimacy. Though their relationship – and its portrayal – are less than perfect, those kids were meant for each other; during last season’s finale when Mitch, tired of being the “rock” of the relationship, broke down, Cam was there to pick him back up. They’ll survive the storm. And besides, Lily would literally eat a sibling alive.
“Glee” – Brittany & Santana
Where we last left off: Glee’s scissor sister act are already on the rocks with Santana busy with her studies and cheerleading at college, which left Brittany feeling down and out. Having found a new friend in Troutymouth Sam, will Brittany also find a shoulder and perhaps some pillowy lips to lean on?
Diagnosis: Though Brittany is bisexual, she’s always loved Santana, even if only as a friend. That friendship is the basis of their relationship and would most likely endure should Sam pucker his way between them. Of course Santana would hop on a plane, smuggling a switch blade, and debone Troutymouth if he even tried anything, obvi. But what about evil new cheerleader Kitty? What team’s she playing on since we noticed her giving Brittany the side-eye during the “Hold It Against Me” number. For now, Santana needs to make more time for Brittany and Brittany needs to keep her head, and her pony, high.
“The New Normal” – David & Bryan
Where we last left off: David and Bryan successfully inseminated Goldie and are going through the normal and new normal motions of becoming first-time parents, like buying new clothes, dealing with a precocious eight-year-old who does a spot on Little Edie and a racist, gun-toting grandmother with flawless hair. Are they taking on too much too soon?
Diagnosis: David and Bryan seem to have it all and want to open their lives and their wallets to help Goldie, not only as their surrogate but as their friend. Though Nana’s icy demeanor is slowly melting – the Titanic could hit her and it would still sink, but she’s coming along – and Shania provides nice training for the soon-to-be parents, the lurking presence of Goldie’s ex might prove too much to handle: last night we found out he’s challenging Goldie for custody of Shania. David and Bryan might have to eschew couple’s counseling for legal counsel.
“Glee “– Kurt & Blaine
Where we last left off: Haunting the halls of McKinley after failing to get into NYADA, Kurt finally moved to New York to live with Rachel, leaving Blaine behind to lead the New Directions in Lima and adding yet another long-distance relationship to the show. Will their love stand the test of time and a few hundred miles?
Diagnosis: A weekly Skype performance of classic love duets, such as Diana Ross and Lionel Richie’s “Endless Love,” Barbra Streisand and Neil Diamond’s “You Don’t Bring Me Flowers” and Rihanna and Chris Brown’s “Birthday Cake (Remix)” should do the trick. Those kids would sing while sleeping if they could and songs have always been their way to reconciliation. Though word to the wise, keep an eye out for potential bumps in the road; namely sensitive jock Karofsky, who still probably harbors feelings for Kurt – and tends to show up out of nowhere and for no reason other than a convenient plot device – and resident evil gay Sebastian Smythe.
“Partners“- Louis & Wyatt
Where we last left off: Louis and his straight BFF Charlie are the main couple in this show, and their significant others just have to play along. If Monday’s pilot is any indication, the main area of contention between Louis and his big, hot, dull boyfriend Wyatt is that Louis tells everyone Wyatt’s a Jewish doctor when in reality he’s a “Mennonite nurse.” Will Louis and the show get over his clichéd obsession? Will Wyatt feel comfortable always being second in Louis’ life? Will this show last a whole season?
Diagnosis: Wyatt seems content playing along since, as he told an angry Charlie, “nobody loves like Louis.” Aww. Though the show is mired in Will & Grace-esque shtick – all the way down to the sassy, busty assistant – that’s not necessarily a bad thing. After all, Megan Mullally was pretty much the second coming of Christ for sitcoms. The lack of depth in Louis and Wyatt’s relationship may prove suitable for them, but perhaps not so much for viewers. Only time will tell.