Our tastebuds evolve. Our music preferences fluctuate. Our bedtime gets earlier. Our friendships mature. But does our taste in men change?
When this question was posed in a recent Reddit thread, some commenters said their type has changed, some said it has just “expanded,” and some said their type has stayed the course. Here’s a selection of responses, tidied up for readability:
I’ve always been into older (like 40s/50s/60s) and leaning towards bearish. As I get older, the exceptions are becoming more and more common, and boundaries are getting blurrier. Around 26/27 was the first time I started being really into some guys my own age and even younger. Another example is that as a teen I was always into guys taller and bigger than me. When I was 22, I met a guy through the local leather group who became my first FWB, and he and his husband became basically mentors with benefits. I’m 5’10” and he is around 5’5.” Around the same time, I met my first serious boyfriend, and he is 5’4.” Since then, I now consider shorter daddies one of my main ‘types’ almost equal to my interest in taller guys.
Related: Man’s transformation from jock to bear has Gay Twitter’s attention
When younger, I did not like beards on guys, now I love short, neat ones.
The age limit increases. Before, I wouldn’t date anyone over 30. Now that I’m coming close to 30, I wouldn’t date anyone under 25.
In my early 20s, I was really into clean-cut, older, short, and very built guys. Now I appreciate and find attraction to a much wider audience. Part of it was I learned that super-fit guys look amazing, but on average (from my experience), they were not fun. I find certain things sexy on men that I never would have in the past. Like, some guys with a little balding spot can be really hot and I don’t know why. Every once in a while, I want to pick a twink up. Or I want someone who is taller than me (hard to find when you’re 6’4”). Maybe smooth, or hairy. Personality is also a big part. I like to connect and like the person. When I was young, I was very focused on how men looked. Now I have a better idea if I connect well with someone after a bit of talking. Part of what helped change me was moving to a city that was more diverse. Also just living and finding more confidence to explore what I like and enjoy with a man. Owning my own taste and not worrying what other people thought.
Related: If you still insist your ‘preferences’ aren’t racist then you’re part of the problem
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My type has broadened its definition over time to where I don’t have a discernible type. It was originally mainly bears and cubs, but now I get into more toned men, too, and sometimes smooth and hairless as well.
I think I was more into hairless and abs as a teen, while as an adult, I prefer hairy and don’t care for abs at all. Otherwise, it’s just broadened.
I wasn’t into scruffy guys when I was younger. All I wanted [were] twinks.
It kind of saddens and worries me some because my type hasn’t changed much, and I was hoping it would. I’m still young myself, so I guess there is still time for a change to happen.
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WashDrySpin
Yes for lots of white men in their 20s and 30s when they could attract the HOT white guys they ONLY wanted them…but however as they got older with more money (because they are still white men econmically) into their 40s and 50s… their looks faded and their bodies were no longer muscled they ventured out to Asians and Blacks who were younger and fit…
Don’t try to deny it as it is apparent in SO many gay communities
djmcgamester
I was partial to bearded and hairy guys pretty much all of my life, even if it wasn’t always the types of guys I got involved with. The ones who interested me were often in their 30s to 40s. Sometimes they were the same age as me but I’ve also dated anywhere from roughly 15 years older to 15 years younger.
I was never overwhelmingly interested in Asian or Black guys. I am sometimes attracted to them but my biggest appeal is to white and Latino guys. Kind of screws with your misconception about what people are into as they get older.
You come off as either a) a bitter old queen (not all older guys fit the description, just for clarification) or b) an anti-gay white guy who showed up with an agenda thinking it was somehow going to impact the lives of anyone. I guess there could be another possibility: c) a self-loathing closet case.
Chrisk
You might want to explain this theory to say David Geffen, Marc Jacobs, Bryan singer, Dustin Lance Black, Calvin Klien, etc.. I’d say it’s still white boys.
Rock-N-RollHS
Please, don’t flatter yourself. I’m sure most older white guys still aren’t into you.
tf3.0
You sound incredibly bitter.
If your race has been sexualized in America, like black and Latino, you can pretty much hook up with any hot white guy you want.
tf3.0
Correction: if you are physically attractive yourself, you can.
If you are not, then it will not be possible.
Hot Recognizes hot
Sydneyguy73
I have been a sexually active Gay man for 20 years now and my type hasn’t really changed, though my expectations I may have had in my 20’s are more realistic. I do look to date & hook up with guys 5 yrs maximum either side as I had always done but had to expand to include guys of any age which has the characteristics which I am attracted to. I have also been a top for 95-98% of my Gay sex life which remains despite having a 12 month period of actively seeking to become more versatile and explore kink, however the end result was to accept that being a career top and only bottoming very infrequently within an ongoing relationship is who i am and what I enjoy, also what guys i meet seem to most enjoy from me.
I have met many gay guys 35+ yr old who describe their varying levels of change in their sexual tastes and practices, all of which taught me that our individual sexual tastes tend to evolve due to changes to both our bodies and environment as well as our individual appetite for sexual risk. Sadly for some of them, enjoying sex which is generally considered standard (Vanilla) had completely disappeared leading to a reliance on kink and other fetishes only and the number of men in that category seems to get larger in the over 45yr old’s.
Despite remaining open to engaging in non-extreme kink, guys who require kink as standard and more extreme sex practices don’t work for me so due to the above I end up with younger more often. In reality, I don’t believe judging peoples legal consenting sexual activities and tastes. Online profile preferences even if they are a part of a sentence in social media, provided they are framed as their own personal preference, why would I be concerned?? The credulous claims that stating a personal preference on a online character restricted profile needs to be policed by virtue signaling SJW’s in my opinion is far, far worse. It does nothing to change what an individual thinks and it certainly won’t get the guy who just rejected you to say yes. There is way to much projection and ridiculous pandering to people who want to feel avenged by seeing an opportunity to use the latest weaponized Buzz word to censor people who are just being honest. I am in my 40,s so if I message a 20 yr old, i know the chances of him being interested is minimal. He also has every right to do that and state his preferred age range just as much as another 20yr old may have a preference which has a minimum age of over 30. Same with Masc or Fem, Top or Bottom, even race. I don’t care if you see what I say as being bigoted, because I know I have never had any of these terms on my profile, nor do i factor them in when choosing to pursue a potential sexual partner. Despite that, I will no longer sit back and watch the ‘snowflakes’ failure to accept that what got them rejected online, would in fact be the very same if the two persons stood at a Gay Bar. I would also suggest it could be way worse. as it is not possible to block someone and in a gay bar, alcohol may lead to verbal conflict or even physical abuse if someone chooses to ignore subtle signs of an approach to a guy being non-reciprocal. It makes me laugh seeing all these woke people calling for equality of sexual partner selection socially enforced in the way access to public/corporate services and employment is and for people who insist on that being the case, you are more than welcome to tell me how you and your friends do so in practice. Because you are effectively asking people to be attracted to people they have no interest in, which smacks of rape culture. The person who or inter-sectional group deemed to be the latest that we should be shamed into being intimate with, is demeaned even more so because you have effectively said, you are only interesting because you are marginalized and therefore worthy of pity. Then on top of that, when you and your fellow hypocrites force the online site/app provider to enforce your values onto everyone else, all that happens is that it starts a slow bleeding of users elsewhere, keeping their preferences and willingness to communicate them along with them. I cannot fathom why it is that people cannot consider that judging others who choose to communicate upfront is any better than what they are accused of.
If someone sends a hateful personal attack, all providers have mechanisms to enforce Terms and conditions, if they are not doing so, perhaps focus your energy toward that. If you do receive a negative comment, of which you feel strongly enough to write about or complain, make sure the other relevant conversations/factors are included. Taking things out of context for the convenience of revenge shaming someone who rejected you, has a negative effect for people who experience unprovoked online attacks. Accept that those types are always trolls or just mentally ill. Try viewing profiles which state factors that effectively exclude you as a blessing. They save you time. effort and emotional energy when you block them. Rejection is part of life, I get it like everyone else. I would also suggest considering your part in the situation, by reviewing how you could make your profile better, or in many cases be more realistic in assessing how a potential sexual partner may perceive you. i don’t like prejudice, I don’t practice it regarding race and HIV Status, but I just practice it, not preach to others nor cry ….sim when I get rejected. Yes, it is tough for some Gay guys, pity isn’t going to get you laid. Accept that what attracts two people is individual to them. don’t make discrimination feel validated by ignoring them. Real Duchebags such as trolls love you talking about them after rejecting you. Stop giving them oxygen and get on with life
Rock-N-RollHS
Did you take your meds today? Manic-depression is a bitch.
jcoberkrom
More became my type. I’ve always liked svelt guys in their twenties & thirties with a little hair on their chest.
dustychiffon
Sydneyguy73 this is a comment section dear, not a diary. Let’s keep the comments quick and to the point?
Everything changes, even taste. We all like things we once didn’t, and we all have things that we will love forever.
russdog
I don’t know who wrote the headline, but since they most likely write for a living, they should know that “typecasted” is not a word.
Kangol2
Queerty can sometimes be a “struggle grammar” site, as the children might say. They usually mean well, though.
scotty
it’s a perfectly cromulent word.
russdog
@Scotty
It’s not acceptable. It doesn’t exist.
Brian
I would think it’s weird if your tastes didn’t change as you grew older. I’d feel like a pervert if I were still into the same guys I was into at 20
lambchopp59
I never would have thought it possible my attraction would follow my age group when I was in my 20’s, but it did. As a skinny, muscular twink I liked the same, a bit more rotund with age became attracted to the same, and now at 60 I have no interest in anyone under 50. The one taste that has not changed at all: I was a hispanophile then, and still am.
Oranos
My “type” has not changed at all.
I still like emotionally available, kindhearted men with spiritual values and a sense of fair-mindedness.
The “PACKAGING” of those men has changed a bit, though. I prefer someone closer to my own age. If they can’t remember JFK’s assassination, it might be hard for us to relate to each other.
Only one type is of the “no way” variety: men who are always looking at their smartphones when in my company. I recognize limitations of manners, and depart (geographically) from those with that particular issue.
richard2179
All that is really being said here is the universe provides us with more happiness than we choose to notice. With time and enlightenment we discover our happiness evolving. This is exactly why we should always question our preferences to see if they serve our best interests!
Tombear
What is this thing for hairy chested Latino men? Woof! Woof! And double woof!