SUPER SAFE SEX

U.S. Defense Bill Keeps American Military Safe From Committed Couples, Pleasing Sex

On September 30th, the Pentagon said that military chaplains and military facilities could be used for same-sex unions. Then Senate Republicans tried to roll back this guideline by including anti-gay amendments in the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) ensuring that military chaplains wouldn’t get forced to officiate same-sex weddings (not that they ever were) and that military bases wouldn’t get used for same-sex weddings either. However, they’ve dropped those amendments.

Sadly, they didn’t repeal military Article 125, the code forbidding sodomy for both gay and straight servicemembers. Though Lawrence v. Texas made sodomy laws unconstitutional in the civilian realm—and The United States v. Marcum curtailed how Article 125 could be enforced—it would take a Supreme Court decision or act of Congress to fully repeal it.

No sweat—military brass are just ensuring that our men and women in uniform never get to third base. Sexual frustration will make them more aggressive on the battlefield!

Image via The U.S. Army