Desperate times

WATCH: Michael Henry on the great gay hookup drought of 2020

Michael Henry and Calvin Seabrooks
Michael Henry and Calvin Seabrooks (Photo: YouTube)

YouTube comic Michael Henry is not letting the COVID-19 pandemic stop him from producing high-quality content. He’s using it for inspiration and to bring a few laughs to these strange and testing times.

His latest video, entitled ‘Quarantine D’, explores the fact some gay men are still hunting for dick, at a time when many others are choosing to abstain and not hook-up.

Los Angeles-based Henry is trying to enjoy his big 12” sub-sandwich in a park when he’s disturbed by a rustling in the nearby bushes. It turns out to be someone only referred to as “Bottom No. 2” (played by Calvin Seabrooks) of the notorious “gay bottom mafia.”

He reveals he’s looking for a hookup, leading Henry to chastise him for breaking quarantine rules and to remind him how a bunch of gay men in New York City recently faced fierce online criticism for a party they hosted in a small apartment.

Related: Twitter is freaking out over this NYC circuit party in the COVID-19 epicenter

But Bottom No. 2 says he’s desperate: “I don’t think my innards have ever been this dry. I’m so dried out it feels like sandpaper rubbing against sandpaper.”

“I’m sorry,” shoots back Henry, “but your hole is not an essential service!”

Bottom No. 2 then goes on to reveal that many of his fellow bottoms have now become tops, so desperate were they to get their hands on another man.

Henry concludes by reminding his friend why so many of us are self-isolating and why we must do out best until the crisis passes – even if it’s making many of us feel acutely lonely. He helpfully suggests his friend go home and “sit on something” to help dampen his desires!

Related: Coronavirus and sex: What gay guys need to know before hooking up