World’s Largest Celebration Of Homophobia Will Finally Allow Gays In

Screen-Shot-2014-09-03-at-11.51Organizers of the world’s largest St. Patrick’s Day parade have finally agreed to allow openly gay men and women to march in their parade, much to the chagrin of an archaic management team that had banned such things up until this point.

Earlier this year, the inherent homophobia of the centuries-old parade played out in the media yet again when a group of LGBT veterans were denied the honor of marching with a banner that indicated their sexuality.

The LGBT Veterans for Equality were told they were welcome to march in the parade so long as they didn’t let it be known that they were gay.

Mayor Bill de Blasio, Sam Adam’s, and Heineken (but not Ford!) all pulled sponsorship from the parade, citing the lack of equality as unconscionable.

According to the Times, the committee organizing the parade voted unanimously to allow “OUT@NBCUniversal” — the internal LGBT group at NBC, the network that broadcasts the parade — to march in this year’s parade. The “change of tone and expanded inclusiveness is a gesture of goodwill to the LGBT community in our continuing effort to keep the parade above politics,” a committee member said.

But bigots need not worry — next year’s grand marshall Cardinal Timothy Dolan confirmed that the parade would still “remain loyal to church teachings,” you know, because in 2014 we’re still ok with using tax dollars to shut down major metropolitan streets and disrupt the city for inclusive and discriminatory religious events.

“Neither my predecessors as Archbishop of New York nor I have ever determined who would or would not march in this parade … but have always appreciated the cooperation of parade organizers in keeping the parade close to its Catholic heritage,” he added.

Yes, please keep politics out of this parade and make sure to maintain those strong connections with its Catholic heritage, Dolan. That’s exactly what all these drunk white tourists come to Fifth Avenue to vomit their green beer for.

Photo: Ed Yourdon, Flickr

Don't forget to share: