So what if Elijah Wood acted in Internal Affairs and Deep Impact? So what if his favorite food is fried artichoke hearts dipped in ranch dressing? That doesn’t make him gay, though the water sports story about him might. Woodie and his friend Dominic Monaghan were out drinking one night in Wellington, New Zealand. As Elijah told MX in Melbourne “We were walking home and saw this fountain. Dom and I looked at it and he said 'We should conquer it.’ Once we got to the top, what else was there to do but urinate in it?” Yeah, exactly.

We at Queerty actually think that Elijah Wood is very, very straight. As evidence we cite the fact that on his 21st birthday, he got so drunk in West Hollywood that he heaved all over in the Sloan’s Bar men’s room. We can hold our liquor.