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DOUCHE OF THE WEEK

Embezzling Investigation Uncovers Florida Gov Charlie Crist’s Alleged Gay Trysts

Each week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week.

Have a nominee for DOTW? Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at holla@queerty.com.

Allegations have surfaced that former Florida Governor Charlie Crist paid off two men to hide some of his homosexual indiscretions. It’s hardly the first time gay rumors have surfaced about the perma-tanned Republican, but there’s actually something of a paper trail here.

Florida TV station WTSP claims a police report relating to embattled former Florida GOP Party Chair Jim Greer, who stands accused of lining his pocket with party funds, shines a light on Crist’s proclivities.

The law-enforcement report details an exchange between Greer attorney Damon Chase, and John Morgan, a partner at the law firm Crist works at:

Chase had contacted Morgan, as Chase believed Morgan was the attorney representing Crist, to set up a time wherein Chase could depose Crist. In essence, Chase indicated to Morgan that if he (Chase) had to take Crist’s deposition, Crist was not going to like what Chase asked, as it would contain embarrassing things and would be used to impeach his testimony.

When Morgan inquired what embarrassing things Chase was referring to, Chase indicated that he would be forced to impeach Crist by addressing the following issues:

1. Charlie Crist was a homosexual and had homosexual relationships with at least two men who were paid to leave the state to avoid embarrassing then-Governor Crist.

2. Governor Crist kissed or attempted to kiss Greer at a hotel in Beverly Hills, California,

3. Governor Crist’s drunken escapades, and how Governor Crist’s security detail had to cover for him

4. Governor Crist attempting to run people over while intoxicated and operating a golf cart.

So Crist is a boozy slut who likes to go all Amanda Bynes on the golf course? Sounds like our kind of girl! But it still means—as a closet case and the onetime governor of a state that technically bans gay adoptions, passed a measure banning gay marriage and civil unions (while Crist was in office), and still hasn’t repealed its unconstitutional sodomy laws—he’s a douche of the first order.

Then again, Morgan claimed the accusations were just a ruse to embarrass the former guv. He then pulled out his library card and read Chase for filth. According to the files:

Morgan stated that if Crist were homosexual why would he try to kiss Greer, specifically stating, ‘(Crist) would have to be a sick son of a bitch to try to kiss Porky the Pig,’ in reference to Greer.

Crist responded to WTSP’s news item by calling the gay allegations “a bunch of delusional lies.”

In this instance, there seems to be a confederacy of douches: Crist (if the pay-off allegations are true), Greer (for lining his pockets with party dues) and Morgan (for calling Greer a heifer).

All together now: What a bunch of douches!

By:           Dan Avery
On:           Jun 10, 2012
Tagged: , , ,
  • 22 Comments
    • 1equalityUSA
      1equalityUSA

      John Boehner is next.

      Jun 10, 2012 at 8:34 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • declanto
      declanto

      This is such total bullshit. Christ is on the “hitlist” of the RWNJ’s.
      To even come close to this crap is to be tainted by it.

      Jun 10, 2012 at 8:39 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JasonMacBride
      JasonMacBride

      He’s leaning on the old Southern baptist loophole: It’s not sex if you don’t know your partner’s last name or you keep one foot on the floor.

      Jun 10, 2012 at 9:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      I think it is safer to assume that homophobic bigoted Republicans are protesting to much at this point.

      Jun 10, 2012 at 10:13 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Eric in Chicago
      Eric in Chicago

      An anti-gay Republican who is gay – he was against gays being parents for god’s sake. He is the lowest scum of the earth.

      Jun 10, 2012 at 11:23 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • PTBoat
      PTBoat

      Crist has long been rumored to be gay and has been outed by many people who said that they were his former lover. All the while, his team makes statements like, “he’s on a hit list,” and “this is ridiculous.” I wish someone would catch him, and photograph him, in flagrante delicto.

      Jun 10, 2012 at 11:48 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • handity
      handity

      florida sucks

      Jun 10, 2012 at 11:54 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • UsualPlayers
      UsualPlayers

      I can’t imagine anyone wanting to have sex with him for free.

      Jun 10, 2012 at 12:25 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ted B. (Charging Rhino)
      Ted B. (Charging Rhino)

      If all these people keep claiming he’s gay and closeted…you would think that at-least one would actually come-forwards with some proof, not just vague accusations and innuendo. Where’s the proof? Otherwise, after the accusations echoing around Florida for so long, it’s just a “smear”….

      Jun 10, 2012 at 12:44 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • David Ehrenstein
      David Ehrenstein

      You want “proof”? See the film “Outrage.”

      Jun 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • UsualPlayers
      UsualPlayers

      The thing about evidence is that you can always deny there is evidence. You can keep saying over again that proof nothing. Its the first commandment of trolling

      Jun 10, 2012 at 12:54 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Matt
      Matt

      So if this guy pays for sex with guys or has a partner why hasn’t he been outed or why hasn’t the media mentioned it?

      Jun 10, 2012 at 2:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Miss Ross
      Miss Ross

      Fancy me
      Thought I had my degree
      In life and how love
      Ought to be a run

      I had a one step plan to prove it
      Guide in my pocket for fools
      Folly and fun
      Love had to show me one thing

      I was so right
      So right
      Thought I could turn emotion
      On and off
      I was so sure
      So sure (I was so sure)
      But love taught me
      Who was who was who was the boss
      (Taught me who was who was the boss)

      I’d defy
      Anyone who claimed that I
      Didn’t control whatever moved in my soul
      I could tempt
      Touch delight
      Just because you fell for me
      Why should I feel uptight
      Love had to show me one thing:

      I was so right
      So right
      Thought I could turn emotion
      On and off
      I was so sure
      So sure (I was so sure)
      But love taught me
      Who was who was who was the boss
      (Taught me who was who was the boss)

      Love taught me
      Taught me
      Taught me
      Taught me

      I was so right
      So right
      Thought I could turn emotion
      On and off
      I was so sure
      So sure (I was so sure)
      But love taught me
      Who was who was who was the boss
      (Taught me who was who was the boss)

      Jun 10, 2012 at 2:15 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • B
      B

      No. 6 · PTBoat wrote, “I wish someone would catch him, and photograph him, in flagrante delicto.”

      Sometimes the worst thing that can happen is that you get what you wish for! For all you know, one view of him in flagrante delicto would be such a turnoff that you won’t be able to get it up for a full month.

      Jun 10, 2012 at 2:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Troy
      Troy

      It’s been obvious for years that Crist is gay. He pings to high heavens, he was married for less than a year between 1979-1980, and then didn’t get married again until nearly 30 years later, in 2008. He just happened to get married in a Presidential Election year to a woman he had only known for 9 months, at a time when he was rumored to be a V.P. candidate for John McCain. He’s never had any children either. Add to that the continual reports of men saying he’s been involved with them etc, and there’s really only one conclusion you can reach – Republican closet case. The question is, when will he come out? In many years from now? Look how long it took Ken Mehlman.

      Jun 10, 2012 at 2:38 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • stevoj
      stevoj

      “So Crist is a boozy slut who likes to go all Amanda Bynes on the golf course?”

      thank you Dan. i needed this laugh

      Jun 10, 2012 at 3:13 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Daez
      Daez

      @Troy: The answer…

      Not until long after his political career is over or until the polls greatly favor gay issues. Whichever comes first.

      Jun 10, 2012 at 4:55 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JayUVA
      JayUVA

      The person being prosecuted is highly frustrated that nobody from the RPoF has stood by him (based on comments his wife made to one local paper). While I don’t believe Crist to be gay nor that he tried to kiss Greer. Crist was a good governor, didn’t agree w/all that he did policy-wise, but he was always friendly to the press, to state employees in the capital bldg., to citizens on the street, even to opponents – always a gentleman. Greer was head of RPoF when Marco Rubio had a few instances where he was confused which credit card was his personal card and which was the card issued to him for republican party expenses. Probably an even easier mistake to make when he needed his car repaired and knew the payment was due in 30 days on his card but the Party automatically paid the bills for cards issued. Later on when the press found out, he repaid the Party, so in the end it was really just a ‘loan.’ A loan that was unauthorized and to which he obviously felt entitled to take. Have to wonder what other tall tales or scandalous transactions Greer will have to talk about during his trial – is Rubio nervous? LoL

      Jun 11, 2012 at 6:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • 1equalityUSA
      1equalityUSA

      B–Thank you for, “Flagrante Delicto.” It will be a phrase that plays over and over in my mind today. I must find a creative use for this, “Flagrante Delicto.” It sounds like the name of Pinot Noir or aftershave or a foreign diplomat.

      Jun 11, 2012 at 7:27 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Cam
      Cam

      I’m curious, at this point, why hasn’t the RNC or the rest of the GOP figured out a different defense than “It’s a conspiracy against him!”.

      Funny, if it was such a new conspiracy, then why has he been defending himself against these rumors for 20 years? And why have you all said the same thing about every anti-gay pastor or politician outed in the last two decades.

      Jun 11, 2012 at 10:14 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Mike
      Mike

      @Troy: Don’t forget 2008 was the year the voters banned gay marriage in Florida.

      Jun 11, 2012 at 1:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • John Davis
      John Davis

      I wonder about the reporting reliability of one who either does not know what a heifer is or who doesn’t know the difference between cows and pigs. We may need to concentrate, a little more, on vocabulary-building.

      Jun 23, 2012 at 2:11 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

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