Queerty is better as a member

Log in | Register
GOLDEN GIRL

Grandma Storms Out Of Homophobic Sermon, Makes Gay Grandson Proud

beaReddit user BMMiller10 has reason to be very proud of his grandmother after she set a courageous example and left her church for its homophobic teachings:

Posting, just because the story makes me both sad and happy, but most of all, proud of her. :)

I came out to her about a year ago. I’m 20 years old, and she and I have always been very close. She was fairly conservative before I came out, but her relationship with me beat out any religious leanings. She’s been uncomfortable at her church for a few months, because the current pastor is very against LGBT anything.

A kid that attends the church and is in high school is gay, and apparently his parents wrote to the pastor asking what should be done about this. The pastor took the letter the parents wrote, and read it to the entire congregation, outed the kid, and told everyone that they would “work together to address this problem of homosexuality.”

My grandmother stood up at this point, said “There are a lot of problems here, and him being gay is not one of them.” She apologized to the boy, then walked out the door. She just got back from turning in all the stuff she was responsible for for the church’s yard sale and Bible School activities. The pastor is furious at her, but the associate pastor told her that he has a feeling she might be the catalyst, leading a lot of people that are unhappy with things out of the church, and that he himself was uncomfortable, because situations like this are what have led some teens to suicide.

It’s a small thing, and I’m not the best storyteller, but I’m so proud of her, and thought I’d share. :)

It’s “small things” like that which lead to big changes and BMMiller10 is certainly lucky to have a nana who’ll not only stand up for him, but for others and what she believes in.

By:           Les Fabian Brathwaite
On:           Feb 5, 2013
Tagged: , , , ,
  • 26 Comments
    • dkmagby
      dkmagby

      More leaders in the community like this woman are what will change the minds of those that follow them. Wonderful story.

      Feb 5, 2013 at 7:43 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Ron Jackson
      Ron Jackson

      Good for Grandma! I wish there were a lot more like her.

      Feb 5, 2013 at 8:07 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sfbeast
      sfbeast

      BMMiller is indeed a good story teller, contrary to what he wrote, and he is right to be proud of his grandmother

      Feb 5, 2013 at 8:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • The Real Mike in Asheville
      The Real Mike in Asheville

      When I met my boyfriend’s parents — 25 years ago, and now we are married — while polite though strained, I would have never expected that they would do what this grandmother has done. Its been 10 years or so, but my in-laws too stood up during their church services, and announced they were leaving the bigotry at that church and would be joining a more inclusive church.

      Cheers to the many straight allies who stand tall for equality.

      Feb 5, 2013 at 9:45 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Dakotahgeo
      Dakotahgeo

      Congratulations to your grandmother, and to the many people who have said, “Enough!” and used their feet to vote! THESE actions are the turning point between “christians” and real Christians!!! More power to them!
      Blessings, Peace, Joy to you all!
      Dakotahgeo, M.Div. Pastor/Chaplain

      Feb 5, 2013 at 10:16 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sanfranca1
      sanfranca1

      Yeah for the grandmother. But why did you post a picture of Bea Arthur?

      Feb 5, 2013 at 10:33 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • imperator
      imperator

      The only thing that would make this better is if, instead of leaving, she’d stayed to try and affect change from the inside. Maybe led a congregational uprising to change their pastor or minister or whatever (either change his mind, or change him out for a newer model). Her courage is commendable, I just wondering if it wouldn’t do the *most* good *on* the “front lines.” But that’s no attempt to discredit her, what she did was still pretty good. Not everyone has the confrontational zeal for the ‘trenches.’

      Feb 5, 2013 at 10:35 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Fidelio
      Fidelio

      I disagree. I think BMMiller10 he’s a very good storyteller :)

      Feb 5, 2013 at 10:51 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • jwrappaport
      jwrappaport

      Thank you for being a friend.

      Feb 5, 2013 at 10:58 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • randalaw
      randalaw

      @imperator: Speaking as gay man who grew up in the Southern Baptist denomination, I know that in some churches, the pastor is almost autonomous. If “Gram” was in a church of this sort, she was wise to leave. She might indeed be a catalyst for others to leave or stand up in large enough numbers to bring about some change. If she had simply stayed in a church like I have seen in my past, she would more than likely have been shamed and shunned before bringing about any change. More power to her. This happened to my parents who did the unspeakable act of chaperoning a school dance in 1959, when dancing was considered a horrible sin in their church. The preacher reviled them from the pulpit in a Sunday morning sermon and even their “friends” took his side, at least publicly. “Gram” is a great lady who “gets it.”

      Feb 5, 2013 at 11:53 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • JLJ
      JLJ

      You go Gurl!

      Feb 5, 2013 at 1:19 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • samwise343
      samwise343

      @sanfranca1: Well, one of the episodes of Golden Girls had Blanche mad at her gay brother for getting married to another man, but she finally saw the light. In a sense, it should be Blanche’s picture up there. Then again she was a slut and this guy’s Gramma was no slut. Cheers to the Grammas and sluts of the world.

      Feb 5, 2013 at 2:30 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • D9W
      D9W

      I bet there are a lot of us who wish we had grandmothers like this. Hopefully more will come around like this.

      Feb 5, 2013 at 2:40 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Levyr
      Levyr

      I wish I had a grandma like her :)

      Feb 5, 2013 at 2:47 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • redcarpet
      redcarpet

      MORE OF THIS STRAIGHT PEOPLE! You want to say not all Christians are homophobic? Then put your money where you mouth is and stand up to your preachers.

      Feb 5, 2013 at 3:59 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • TristanShout
      TristanShout

      Rosa Parks refusing to sit at the back of the bus was also a small thing, but it lead to change.

      Feb 5, 2013 at 4:27 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • GayTampaCowboy
      GayTampaCowboy

      I think many on this thread have stated their correct thoughts and feelings on what this wonderful woman did – and i echo their comments.

      I’ll use this opportunity to speak to a more subtle thought – that’s been substantiated by Pew Research on this issue of gay marriage/gay rights.

      They found that for those who changed their views on gay rights from “against” to “for” was primarily due to exposure to REAL LIVE gay singles and couples. And clearly, this woman, once she had to put a face, name and feelings to the issue of homosexuality – she changed. You see, it’s easy to vilify a group or person or issue when it’s nebulous. When you put flesh-and-blood to something like gay rights/gay marriage – change can happen! And, despite the stereotypes of “gay” still exist, it’s my belief that the vast majority of gay men, women and couples are very much part of the mainstream of American Society.

      So, my is, that more folks will read this story – and the posts in this thread – and know that when it comes to working for “change” and moving forward our march to full and equal protection under the law – that simply befriending str8 folks can make a big impact.

      Consider this! According to the Obama election team, every volunteer in every office in every state in the country was assigned 3 voters. Their job was to keep in contact with those 3 folks and engage them PERSONALLY about why Obama should be re-elected, answer questions and develop a relationship with them. And you know what? It worked! They moved electioneering from tv/radio and direct mail – to PERSONAL, FACE-TO-FACE interaction, and it worked!

      So, if we all find 3 folks who still belive gay rights/marriage is about religion and not constitutional rights, befriend them. Get to know them and let them get to know you. It’s can make a difference – it already is – we just need to keep up the work and reach out to those who want to hate us – show them it’s about LOVE not SEX – and we CAN make change happen.

      Feb 5, 2013 at 5:05 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • sanfranca1
      sanfranca1

      @GayTampaCowboy: Very thoughtful!

      Feb 5, 2013 at 7:08 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Gayle
      Gayle

      You go Granny
      I think this woman should be given a parade.

      Feb 6, 2013 at 1:46 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • robynrobotron
      robynrobotron

      @samwise343:

      How do you know his grandmother wasn’t a slut? Was it because she stood up for what’s right? Was it because she has a grandson that she cares about? Women who sleep around are capable of having a working moral compass and raising upstanding citizens, just so you know. Slut shaming is not cool, and a lot of LGBT people and allies are folks who don’t mind having a good time and we deserve to be treated with respect.

      Feb 6, 2013 at 5:00 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Globaltraveler
      Globaltraveler

      Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.
      Margaret Mead

      Feb 6, 2013 at 5:01 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Scott Amundsen
      Scott Amundsen

      “It’s a small thing, and I’m not the best storyteller, but I’m so proud of her, and thought I’d share.”

      Some things are not as small as they appear; I’ll bet it was bigger than you think for that poor kid the “pastor” had just publicly humiliated. Go, Granny, go!

      Feb 6, 2013 at 11:04 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Siva
      Siva

      Beautiful story. A grandmother with more spiritual value than any other about which I’ve heard. I hope good things come her way!

      Feb 6, 2013 at 12:34 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • Griff
      Griff

      “…and my new grandma Bea Arthur!”

      “California” by Rufus Wainwright

      Feb 6, 2013 at 3:03 pm · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • ted72
      ted72

      There is still hope in this world…

      Feb 7, 2013 at 7:36 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·
    • callenstewart
      callenstewart

      Love it. I wish she went to my church when I was a kid.

      Oct 24, 2013 at 8:19 am · @ReplyReply to this comment ·

    Add your Comment

    Please log in to add your comment

    Need an account? Register It's free and easy.



  • QUEERTY DAILY

     




    FROM AROUND THE WEB

    Copyright 2014 Queerty, Inc.
    Follow Queerty at Queerty.com, twitter.com/queerty and facebook.com/queerty.