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jimmy hats

How Did All of NYC’s Proposed Condom Designs Wind Up Referring to Dudes Pounding Each Other?

By Daniel Villarreal February 12, 2010 at 1:10pm · Updated on February 13, 2011
We’ve used stolen ingested enjoyed the NYC Condom for years. The NYC Department of Health started the campaign on Valentine’s Day 2007, placing free Lifestyles condom in a stylish wrapper to get New York’s sluts, and governors, to safely do the deed. But after three years of one-night stands, the NYC Condom is parting with it’s old design and looking to hook-up with one of five new designers. You can vote on your favorite design now. But no matter who ends up on top, the new look promises to deliver some snickers before slipping your Valentine some sexual chocolate.
 
 
Russell Greenberg’s Top Hat: What could be more gentlemanly than a top hat? The very image evokes the sugar daddy grandpa from the Monopoly Game: he’ll wine you and dine you all around the Metropolis before trying to land a spot in your Free Parking. And while an NYC Condom might make a good hat for your top, we’re pretty sure its users won’t always act like refined gentlemen after slipping one on.
 
 
Luis Acosta’s “On Button”: Oh yeah, baby! It’s ON. Once you press my ON button, better get ready to boot-up! In the age of Manhunt and Grindr, an electronic power button reminds us that you probably found your latest piece of ass online, so it’s only fitting that your condom should remind you where your latest upload is coming from. But if sex is less than electric, it just as easily reminds you what button to press again to prevent such encounters from ever happening in the future. What goes on must turn off.
 
 
Gene Lambert’s Subway: Aha! What better innuendo than the old train through the tunnel, though one hardly wants to envision the rickety boxcars and latrine-scented trash caves that are the NYC subway system. The trains carry neurotic offspring and its tunnels are infested with rats, graffiti, and hobos that can see in the dark. But then again, maybe you plan on riding an express so you can get off quick. Choose this one if you actually enjoy getting groped by strangers in public.
 
 
Yujin Lee’s Peeps: We kinda like Lee’s colorful design because it evokes the multi-culti color scheme of the original NYC Condom. All the colored circles are like the international buffet of sexual partners on NYC streets, or the balloons and spots at your latest drunken birthday bash. Sadly, the colored dots also remind us of spores in a petri dish… another squeamish reminder of why we’d use condoms in the first place. Staying safe: sexy. Thinking about what HIV cells actually look like: not so much.
 

 

Virgil Anderson’s Manhole: Virgil has undoubtedly come up with the gayest design for a condom wrapper ever. Why else would you put on your rubbers before descending into a manhole? There’s nothing even remotely feminine about it. But that makes sense seeing as one can hardly step onto a New York street without getting embroiled into a gay orgy. And you can’t walk very far without seeing a wide-open manhole with steam rising out of it (or exploding). Or a manhole with several guys crawling into it. Looks like you better grab more than just one of these babies.

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11 Comments*

  • pogobock

    This is all Obama’s fault.

  • romeo

    I voted for the top hat. The others were too dirty, either figuratively or literally. LOL

  • HiredGoons

    @romeo: I kind of like the Top Hat too! I don’t get the brown/orange Mac ‘ON’ icon though.

  • romeo

    That was the one I thought was the dirtiest. LOL

  • scott ny'er

    i dig ’em all. very creative.

    i voted for the many colored condoms. I like the feel of it. the subway one was a little much. The manhole looks cool but the double meaning again too much. the top hat does have a nice elegance to it but i don’t gravitate towards it. The on button, well, i must admit, I didn’t get it. But once explained to me, that would be my 2nd choice. More current. Nice colors. and the 2nd meaning is subtle.

  • romeo

    I thought about the colored condom one too, but something about it sort of looks like a disease chart.

  • Brian NJ

    I like the inspired top hat. I picture a gay dandy in 1923 with a silk red scarf sizing up sailors.

  • timmmeeeyyy

    Am I missing something? With the exception of the manhole design, how are they “referring to dudes pounding each other”?

  • schlukitz

    How about a Vlassic Pickle as a symbol for the use of a condom.

    Always crisp, juicy and crunchy.

  • Michael W.

    I like the grittiness of the manhole cover. Reminds me of the Saw franchise. And Leigh Whannell, the producer and co-star of the first (and only good) one, is a hottie.

  • DONTBLAMEMEIVOTEDFORSTEPHEN

    Tophat

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