Just Another Day Destroying the Fabric of the Nation

According to Linda Harvey, founder of the Christian right group Mission America, the road to foreclosure is paved with pink tar. Not content to cause the decline of Western Civilization, we are now responsible for the mortgage meltdown. Put that on your resume.

“The mortgage crisis was the sin of temptation being offered by those who relaxed legitimate standards, offered to those without the personal standards to resist,” says Harvey. “This easy-pay physical structure was too good to be true, and appealed to an increasingly covetous segment of our culture. Sexual and material covetousness are usually sin siblings.”

Must make for quite a family gathering at Thanksgiving.

Harvey is one of those right-wing types who like to dwell lovingly on what purports to disgust them. “But let’s take two men, trying unsuccessfully to ‘consummate’ their relationship,” Harvey writes in her foreclosure jeremiad. “It is impossible. Forgive the graphics here, but neither oral nor anal sex, nor mutual masturbation will ever unify them structurally. In fact, actual anatomical damage can occur through anal sex.” (You supply the response. Our head exploded from all the possibilities.)