Reddit user Paulpaul123 says he masturbated two times with another guy and that it meant absolutely nothing. But now he’s terrified it’s going to destroy his otherwise perfect marriage.
35-year-old Paul and his wife have been together for seven years and have two children. They have sex four times a week and are still very much attracted to one another. But five years ago, Paul says he jerked off with another guy on two separate occasions.
“I have put it into the back of my mind all these years as just an experimenting phase,” he writes. “I am not attracted to men, I do not check them out, I don’t find them attractive, and I have zero interest in ever being in a relationship with a man.”
He chalks the whole thing up to simply being “something stupid” that happened. And he was able to keep the whole thing buried for years. Until now.
“This person I had done these things with years ago has now moved close to my house,” he writes, “and this has brought back many horrible feelings.”
“I love my wife,” he says, “I am not gay or bi. I have been to counseling for this incident and the counselor summed it up to me having a teenage moment and doing something stupid. At the time I didn’t see it as cheating. Now that I’m older and wiser I know that anything sexual outside of the relationship is cheating.”
Paul confesses he feels “very guilty” and “angry” for over the indiscretion, but he doesn’t know what to do because his wife “can’t stand cheaters.”
“She says once a cheater always a cheater,” Paul writes. “She’s told me that if I were to cheat, she doesn’t know if she would ever be able to trust me again.”
“What do I do?” he wonders. “I can’t tell my wife. I don’t want our relationship to end. I did this years before we had children, I would never do anything to harm them or mess up their lives.”
“I just don’t know what to do.”
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