If you’ve got no one to cuddle up with for the holidays—no “Santa Baby,” perhaps—you’re in good company. Tons of gays users have spent the festive season solo… and cracked wise on Twitter about it!
In a 2017 article for Instinct Magazine, Ryan Shea encouraged readers to embrace their single status during the holidays.
“Embrace that you aren’t stuck going to your annoying partner’s in-law’s and feeling like you have to impress them,” he wrote. “Enjoy being alone in this. Masturbate as much as you want; no one is there to stop you. Bring out your inner ‘ho, ho, ho’ and have a hookup or two. Or, just do what we all used to do and go out and find a guy for a night, a date, or something more.”
Two years later, Anthony Gilét penned a “Single Gay Man’s Guide To Surviving Christmas” for Attitude, in which he pointed out that coupled gays may be less holly-jolly than they appear.
“It’s easy to feel lonely when you see cute couples kissing under the mistletoe, but just remember that the snow is always whiter —especially when it has an Instagram filter,” he wrote.
Plus, single gays can spend all their gift-giving funds on themselves for the holiday seasons, Gilét added. “Everyone wants to feel loved and appreciated, so it’s OK to be selfish every now and then—especially if the turkey is the only one getting a stuffing this Christmas,” he wrote.
And before you drop the needle on “Lonely This Christmas” yet again, scroll down to see funny tweets about being gay and single (or, at least, gay and finding a holiday boyfriend) this time of year.
With the holidays approaching near, I would just like to share that I am looking for a boyfriend. I wear a size single in the gay brand.
— Dallas (@dallashx13) December 8, 2022
Am I the only mid 30s single gay man listening to ‘Last Christmas’ (Wham!) whilst creating a fictional scenario of me bumping into my future hubby in a holiday market (under a tree) with Mariah blasting? Praying to the holiday gods (George, Mariah, Mr Legend, Ms Clarkson). ???? pic.twitter.com/HmZAU9N9nf
— Dillon Landi (@DillonLandi) November 27, 2022
Just ordered my holiday cards bc I am both a single adult and a gay
— Peppermint Pete (@Mister_the_Frog) November 22, 2022
A single gay trying to get a holiday pic with all his pets, a progression: pic.twitter.com/tSGeb0gZCA
— h word (@wjf____) December 24, 2020
So many LGBTQ+ couples in TV ads this holiday season, which is great. But where is the representation for single gays sending chaotic tweets from bed, still in robe at 1pm??
— Khalid El Khatib (@kmelkhat) December 12, 2020
Family Members during the holidays are like:
“When will you meet someone nice to settle down with”
“Why are you still single”
“Do you want me to set you up with one of my gay friends”
— Heartless Gay (@HeartlessGayyy) November 28, 2017
Gays being dragged back to their hometown for Christmas knowing their childhood bedroom is now a study, the closest guy on Grindr is 40km away, and their grandparents will ask why they haven’t brought their wife home yet pic.twitter.com/VHX6KEZkcj
— benjamin dean (@NotAgainBen) December 23, 2019
watched multiple gay christmas movies today, feeling particularly single ?
— samuel (@samuelgrants) November 22, 2022
Bout ready to use Grindr to get someone to come over and hang up my Christmas lights because I'm too short and too fat to stand on my furniture ?
— Bumble | kinda horny, kinda shy (@SyrBumble) December 11, 2022
Thinking of all the unmarried sons covertly on Grindr in family Christmas living rooms right now.
— Richard Osman (@richardosman) December 25, 2016
sad about being single for Christmas?Don’t worry, in 2 days 80% of the seasonal gay couples will break up just in time to deep throat you on New Year’s Eve ??
— ???? (@cursedkief) December 24, 2021
When you go on Grindr while home for Christmas pic.twitter.com/UWwMkJo8tq
— Justin Myers (@theguyliner) November 23, 2017
Me, conspiring with the gays + single straight girls in the office: I have an idea. Let’s all bring a single bisexual man to the holiday party and see what happens?
— Bobby (@BobbysByline) December 2, 2019
I am also gay, single, and love Christmas if Netflix wants to reach out. DMs are open.
— a very matty xmas ? (@xoxoMattyBoy) December 3, 2021
Me, surviving yet another holiday season as a single gay man. pic.twitter.com/rMur1CVaYp
— Tutti Quanti Gay (@Neil_McNeil) December 26, 2019
25 likes and I’ll message everyone in my contacts with the last name ‘Grindr’ “Merry Christmas”
— Taffeta (@TaffetaGames) December 25, 2020
Gays when they get their Christmas boyfriend pic.twitter.com/EF29WNNgtJ
— Daniel ? (@tweetingdanielj) November 17, 2021