SMUT MERCHANTS

4 of Michael Lucas’ Sleaziest Moments Of All Time

Regarding porn stars, neocon porn impresario Michael Lucas has said, “This is the No. 1 thing that unites them. They are desperate for attention. They have no patience. They are big-time liars, and just not together.” He added that even though he’s a porn star, he defies his own description. But that’s total bullshit. This is the man who has made a career of press whoredom (some of which we’ve engaged him in), public feuds, and inflammatory statements — single-handedly turning The Advocate into an Islamophobic rag. He luxuriates in scandal and doesn’t mind tromping in the gutter, if only to come off as holier than thou. So let’s relive a few of Mr. Lucas’ all time lowest points and revile the man so many love to hate.

WARNING: Some of the links in this story are labeled NSWF. He’s a porn monger for crap’s sake, what did you expect?

Lucas Fakes His Own Death To Promote His Latest Porn Flick

On October 3rd, 2007 Lucas Entertainment released this shot of Lucas — implying his death by kinky autoerotic asphyxiation — along with the following statement (NSFW):

“The body of Lucas Entertainment founder and CEO Michael Lucas was found last night in his Manhattan apartment. Authorities released the photo below of the crime scene. No additional information has been released. Stay tuned for further developments.”

Anyone with half a brain should have considered the source, seen his his shaved chest and pouty lips, and noticed the Lucas Entertainment logo on the “leaked” photo. But it didn’t stop some of his associates from making concerned phone calls and sending e-mails. The following day he cut his “joke” a day or two short, admitting it was all a publicity stunt for his new porn flick Gigolo.

The most tone deaf aspect of his little stunt (as New York Magazine pointed out) was that New York gay icon and sometime porn star Dean Johnson had been found mysteriously dead in an apartment just the week before, making Lucas’ ploy particularly tactless, tacky, and tasteless.

In his own defense, Lucas responded:

For those who said that this is nothing more than a publicity stunt—duh—and in very bad taste because of the porn stars who have passed on this year, let me tell you, people die in every profession. And in most professions, on a daily basis. There aren’t just porn stars who die. There are lawyers and doctors and engineers and toilet attendants. So let’s not get all hysterical here and draw unnecessary parallels. The joke was about MY death, not anyone else’s!

And while it didn’t excuse the lameness of his stunt, he at least had the self-awareness to tell all the munchkins celebrating his death to stop dancing in the streets: “…to those of you who rejoiced at the ‘news’—and I know you’re out there—sorry to cut your celebration short.”

Michael Lucas Asks Obama To Help Get Piss! and Farts! Into Canada

Canadian border officials banned Lucas’ raunchy fetish flicks (cleverly entitled Piss! and Farts!) from entering the country. Why? Because the Canadian Policy on the Classification of Obscene Material listed the “ingestion of someone else’s urine… with a sexual purpose” as a red flag for obscene materials.

“I was surprised that a country which is more progressive than the United States, and more open-minded in areas like gay marriage, has some sort of obscenity law that would ban these videos,” said Lucas at the time. So to help his cause while bolstering his titles, Michael Lucas posted an open letter to President Obama asking for his help. Here’s a NSFW urine-soaked butt nugget from that letter:

“I know that one of your points of discussion [with the prime minister of Canada] will be coordinating our nation’s economic stimulus plan with Canada’s. Farts! and Piss!, just two of the productions that were denied importation into Canada, are highly successful titles from my Lucas Raunch line… As our economy teeters on the brink of total collapse, it would be foolish to deny access of such a high quality, proven money maker onto shelves of the Great White North’s porn stores.

[I assume that] when the package [containing Piss!] arrived at Canadian customs, an official took note of the titles, and decided they needed a break from their real job. This (probably male custodian of Canadian law) popped my DVDs into the nearest player, beat off multiple times watching Ryan [Ras] getting his face splattered with my urine, and then reported the material as obscene.”

Lucas later declared that the letter was obviously a joke and has since removed it from his blog. But if you’re into bukkake and stinky starfish, get a load of the other non-Lucas titles held at the northern border: Brown Bath!, Do You Know the MILF-ing Man?, Girls On Fire, Let Them Eat Cum #7, and Shitmaster.

Everybody knows that oppressive governments only ever ban works of genius. Quick, someone order us a copy of Shitmaster! We hear it’s the Citizen Kane of scat.

Lucas Ignores Decorum and Hypocrisy To Scold Porn Star Twink Brent Corrigan

Zac Efron lookalike Brent Corrigan won three awards during the 2009 GayVN Awards ceremony (the gay porn Oscars). As he took the stage to accept an award for Best Bottom, Michael Lucas became the Kanye West of gay porn by stealing the mic and saying, “Shame on those who nominated and awarded Corrigan. There should be no forgiveness for the companies and individual who put the industry in danger.” According to Corrigan, the audience’s boos drowned out any applause.

You see, Brent Corrigan lied about his age to break into porn at the tender (and illegal) age of 16. And though the GayVN’s awarded him for his legal work, Lucas found it the perfect time to upstage Corrigan and speak out against his jail-bait kiddie porn ilk. Lucas said he has no personal beef with Corrigan and after the awards he added:

“It is shocking how lightly the industry is taking this matter. By falsifying his government-required identification, Brent Corrigan put himself, producers, and the general public at the mercy of federal prosecution. Because Brent performed while he was underage, all the material that he appeared in during that time is now considered child pornography, and rightfully so. However, anyone in possession of those titles, who purchased them or viewed them assuming that the producer had taken the necessary precautions to eliminate the risk, now has illegal pornography on their hands. Can you imagine the trauma of having to deal with something like that? And with the internet being what it is, who knows what images of Brent are legal and illegal? This is a disgusting and horrifying question.”

Porn stars are a bit like Chinese Olympic gymnasts: sometimes a youth performs against the rules and the entire world gets to see. Yes, Corrigan lied as a teen to get a head start in gay porn, and shame on those who recruited and filmed him before properly verifying. But Lucas didn’t bother speaking out against any of his porn stars who dabble prostitution or drugs or unsafe sex and never had he used the mic in past GayVNs to speak out as passionately against those things.

A GayVN attendee suggests that jealousy might have spurred Lucas more than self-righteousness: “Lucas Studios was getting overlooked and [competing porn studio] Raging Stallion was winning by a landslide… Michael was obviously annoyed as well… [and] searching for a way to stir up, in his classic, any-publicity-is-good-publicity approach of doing business. Lucas later apologized for the statement on-stage and wanted it to be clear he wasn’t attacking Brent, but rather the industry as a whole. The apology (in very broken English) fell flat. People were yelling, music was playing. You barely could understand his message. It seemed his final attempt to sealing that he’d make headlines.”

His Rags to Bitches Success Story, His Derek Zoolander Face, And His Fuckfest With His Film’s Stars

Legend states that Mr. Lucas founded Lucas Entertainment with the money he earned from prostitution. But according to an insider, Lucas’ business came about thanks to the financial investment of a sugar daddy and stayed afloat thanks to his second sugar daddy (now husband Richard Winger). “The company regularly found itself in the red,” the insider tells Queerty, “and [Richard] would cut out a check every time Michael overspent.”

Michael Lucas looks pretty well put together (well, minus his frozen Derek Zoolander pout). But Photographer Joe Oppedisano accuses the star (NSFW) of wearing ass pads, having painted-on abs, having a body marked with staples, scars and bruises from his repeated liposuctions, and getting at least three hours of hair and makeup done before every shoot. And while those claims sounds ultra-catty (because they are) our insider corroborates the padding and make-up tricks — — at least when Lucas was in worse shape. The insider also adds that Lucas began Botox treatments at 27 and is “an incredibly vindictive… spoiled prima donna.” But you don’t need an insider to tell you that.

Lucas has said, “It doesn’t fulfill me to be in front of the camera. This is just what I do, and I always do it well.” Well despite Ms. Modesty’s claims, he has helped produce no fewer than three documentaries about himself and his website (NSFW) lists him as starring in at least 167 scenes in his own films and sleeping with 205 men. That’s not surprising seeing as Lucas is an iconic porn star himself. But while one might conclude his stars sleep with him just to appear in his slickly produced films, an insider says that’s not the case — sex with Lucas is surprisingly not part of the hiring process (though Lucas does require newbies to jerk-off for his “audition” DVD series).

NOTE: Michael Lucas loves our site which he has called “anti-Semitic.” He says, “if you put the terms ‘Jew’ or ‘Jewish’ in the site’s search, you’ll come up with just hate and more hate.” That’s crap of course. But by his estimation, a Google search of his name and “Islam” will basically turn up a similar result. Shalom!