Each week, Queerty picks one blowhard, hypocrite, airhead, sanctimonious prick or other enemy of all that is queer to be the Douche of the Week. Have a nominee for DOTW? E-mail it to us at [email protected].
This week, the Douche of the Week goes, unsurprisingly, to an employee of the American Family Association. As the hate group‘s Director of Issue Analysis and host to the Mississippi-based AFA radio show/blog Focal Point, Bryan Fisher is positively swimming in douchiness. On a recent episode of Focal Point, he addressed California’s new law requiring that public schools include contributions by LGBT people in social-studies curriculum.
If you can’t bring yourself to watch this hatemonger spew his venom (and we understand), we’ve transcribed his comments:
“A controversial law was enacted in California last week that’s going to require that lesbian, gay bisexual, and transgender role models be taught starting in kindergarten in California schools. Now, ladies and gentlemen, by definition—by definition—someone who engages in aberrant sexual behavior is not, and cannot be, a role model. Period. End of story.”
Actually, according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, “homosexual” means “of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward another of the same sex.” Funny, nothing about “cannot be a role model.” Sorry, Fisher. Not period. Not end of story.
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Earlier this week, Fisher described some of Christian Norwegian terrorist Anders Breivik’s insane manifesto as “accurate.” (Okay, even we’re surprised by that one.) In the AFA blog “Rightly Concerned” he writes:
Much of [Breivik’s] analysis of cultural trends in Europe and the danger created by Islamic immigration and infiltration is accurate. But clear-thinking Westerners and every Christian I know believes these problems can be solved through public policy rather than mass murder.
Breivik’s angst was caused by the presence of so many Muslims in Norway and Europe, which he correctly observes is leading to “cultural annihilation… He sounds like a Nordic jihadist…”
Oh, no. Despite the fact that he committed mass murder in the name of a Christian God, Breivik couldn’t possibly be a Christian. Riiight.
Some other incidents that really helped Fisher win the gold in the douche Olympics include:
- On June 9, Fischer told his radio listeners that the Nazi Party in Germany was formed in a Munich gay bar by “homosexual thugs.”
- On May 20, Fischer reported that the “number one perpetrators of hate crimes in America [are] homosexual activists, gay activists, the homosexual lobby…”
- The day before, Fischer said that “gays are Nazis.”
- Last year, Fischer told his radio audience that Hitler surrounded himself with gay soldiers because, “he could not get straight soldiers to be savage and brutal and vicious enough to carry out his orders.”
All together now: “What a Douche!”
Rainfish
A list of notable Gay and Lesbian personalities — I’m sure you will find many good role models among them:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_gay,_lesbian_or_bisexual_people
Rainfish
…and, of course, add bi to the list on the link above.
robert in NYC
This is the face of the GOP and their Tea Party scumbaggers! I’d love this douche to provide the factual evidence he’s spewing.
Sadly
@robert in NYC: Sadly, he doesn’t require such proof to sway a large number of people in this country. We can snicker and call him douche, but he’s reaching people.
Tone
It was indeed merciful to transcribe his assholery, thank you.
The louder that Fischer rails on about the private intimate lives of other people, the more it makes me wonder what kind of kinky shit he gets up to.
Stomped on any bugs lately whilst sporting high heels and a merry widow corset Mr. Fischer?
Hyhybt
What do you have against feminine hygiene products, that you insult them so?
Steve
These people… Trying to use kindergarten to scare people. The law requires the inclusion of important LGBT people in HISTORY classes. Maybe it was just when I was in school, but history classes weren’t held until 6th grade. Up until then, the only history I remember learning was why the Pilgrims came to America, and even those events were extremely glossed over and never went into the sometimes-unflattering details.
If only someone of political significance would tell him this. These people are getting all worked up over a bill that they know absolutely nothing about.
NSRob
Good choice for DOTW. That guy/thing makes me boil.
N00b
So we’re clear: https://secure.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/wiki/Pink_triangle
Ian
Show’s name should be “F-e-c-a-l Point” instead of “Focal Point”. What a douche.
RomanHans
I wonder if there are black websites where they worry about what the KKK is up to.
DoucheExpert
HE’S NO DOUCHE!
A douche would be getting a lot more p__sy than this pink pencil.
Jim Hlavac
His comments are more than “douchebag” — he’s opening himself up for legal challenge under the Slander and Libel laws — and it’s high time for the gay groups to go after these people on this basis. Slander and Libel is civil, not criminal — it is us taking him to court. We don’t need no stinkin’ federal government or state attorney to come to our rescue. And it merely requires showing that the speaker of the words did so willfully, intentionally, with foresight, knowing that the words were false, malicious and with intent to harm the finances and reputations of the aggrieved party. Oh, I’d say we all got a pretty good case to go after all the incestuous polygamy of the NO GAYS! Movement at this point under the slander and libel laws and see what happens — let them prove this in a court of law, or pay civil damages. Oh, I’d ask for every penny they’d ever dreamed of owning, or several billions of bucks, whichever is lower.
Alex
Fischer: “a gay role model is no role model. Just like there’s no such thing as a black role model, or a female role model. I think that I’m a pretty good role model, but then again, I have the genes to make me one.”
Ganondorf
Ya know, if this guy weren’t a blood belching cunt of a wasted thrust and broken condom, he’d be considered quite the catch over at joemygod. Quite the side of beef. That’s why their derision of his looks is so funny given the guys they usually “drool” over,e.g., “you mean his teeth come out? It DOES GET BETTER!” HA HA HA, I hate old perverts (anyone over forty with a libido and the bad taste to put it on display) so much…wish guys would turn straight after thirty five.
Schlukitz
@Ganondorf:
Psst…your ageism is showing!
Ganondorf
@Schlukitz:
You’re right. I’m a disgusting pig of a man. It’s worse than racism. Shame on me.
Justin
He used to head the Idaho Values Coalition when I moved to Boise. A few years ago he got the job in Mississippi and peaced the fuck out and the entire city told him to not let the door hit him in the ass on the way out. Bryan Fischer is beyond the scum of the earth.
Jaroslaw
Take some of this “my blood is boiling” energy and volunteer for some cause to help Gay issues. The Christian right says this stuff to keep their base energized – I think the vast majority of the spewers don’t believe what they say but it is very profitable – all the Churches, donations, radio/TV shows, product sales, etc. Not to mention power and influence……..