fashion police

Baggy shorts are in, short shorts are out, and millennial gays are very, very unhappy

By · 23 comments · Updated on January 26, 2024
Joel Kim Booster in baggy jean shorts.

Way back in April, we sent out a reminder that short shorts are the only acceptable choice this summer. But apparently, we were wrong.

According to Joel Kim Booster, bootie shorts are out, and big shorts are in.

WHAT?!?!

Like most new chaotic fashion trends, we can thank Gen Z for reintroducing baggy low-riders into our lives. Over the last couple of years, a rash of young celebrities–ranging from Justin Bieber to Bella Hadid—have taken to wearing oversized clothing on red carpets and runways. As a result, high-tier fashion brands such as Marc Jacobs and Balenciaga have all marketed XXL sizes.

On the small screen, perhaps no character embodies this mish-mash style more than Portia, Jennifer Coolidge’s fresh-out-of-undergrad assistant in the most recent season of the hit HBO show, White Lotus. Haley Lu Richardson’s character continually wore clothing that did not match, such as a cropped Tommy Hilger shirt with forest green linen pants or a sleek dress with an ugly printed shirt tied around her waste.

As fashionista Emma McClendon explained to The Washington Post, Gen Zers are wearing “clothes that typically we would consider hyper-gendered,” but playing with them in a non-gendered way.

These loose, David Byrne-like fits stand in stark contrast to the millennial-favored low-waist skinny jeans and tight Lulu Lemon shorts and yoga pants. Ironically, Kim Booster’s character in Fire Island dresses like a true millennial gay as he bops around the Pines, sporting speedos and little clubbing shorts.

But now, he’s all about the long jean shorts, paired with traditionally more effeminate items such as a crop top.

So yes, we’ve established big clothes are in, and tight clothes are out. But how does this trend actually, you know, look?

Gays on the platform now known as X are weighing in, and giving very mixed reviews.

Now, it’s worth pointing out that many of these naysaying gays appear to be in their 30s themselves, making them true millennials. But as one of the posters mentions, we spend all year working on our thicc thighs and glorious glutes.

What a shame to cover them up!

There is evidence that gays are more attracted to the lower body as well. A 2021 survey of 102 gay men found that 37 percent of respondents prefer a bigger lower body, and 48 percent like to see an athletic upper body paired with a strong butt. 

For comparison’s sake, 32 percent of respondents said they prefer a bigger upper body, and only 20 percent lust after a huge upper body with a weak butt.

These very baggy shorts are covering up our best assets; and let’s be honest: they’re kind of an eye sore!

Then again, I am a 30-year-old gay myself, who just spent the last week prancing around Provincetown in 5-inch inseams.

It’s apparent those who are anti-baggy fits are behind the times. If gays want to start dressing like Rudy Giuliani on the golf course, we shouldn’t judge them.

OK, maybe we should judge them a little bit…

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